You wake in the morning to a voice saying “why are you getting up so early, aren’t you not feeling well, why do you want to exert yourself, go back to bed”. Sometimes this is just another voice in your head (yes you do hear voices but not the scary kind which would need institutionalisation), and most of the time its your mom trying to sow those seeds of doubts, adding to the temptation of going back to bed. Well that’s moms for you.
Who hasn’t had a mother who loves to mother them, who feel that nothing or no one would be good enough for their boy (or girl, it can’t always be mumma’s boy, or that would be so sexist). You’re looking so thin (much to your own charging, when you feel you’ve put on weight and looking a bit chunky), why aren’t you eating well, does that food suffice for you? And then when you want to diet, she’ll declare with all the authority, who said your fat, you look so handsome, why do you want to become skin and bones, now eat the food I’ve cooked for you.
They are like that voice in your head sowing those little seeds of doubts (and I means this in a not so rude way), the devil of temptation, to the angel that tries to cheer you, motivate you on. And trust me, they do have your best intentions in mind, after all you are their Jigar ka tukada, but they sure do have an overprotective way of showing it. I remember my mumma telling me this before the Mumbai marathon, why do you have to do a full, cant you do a half like everyone, you’ll get tired and fall sick, you run so much don’t you get tired.
Well they are like a ticking biological clock constantly reminding you of their mortality, using it as leverage, bargaining chip, emotional blackmail (call it what you may) to get their way. Baba, when will you give me a grandchild, hopefully in this lifetime, you see I don’t have too long to live (the mortality card), and I want to see the faces of my grandchildren (not singular but plural) before I die. Wasn’t it enough of pressure of doing it right, getting it right that you have an added pressure of procreation?
And obviously she wants you to get married before you procreate, after all she wouldn’t want bastard grandchildren (this ain’t the Game of Thrones), or putting the khandhan ka naam in mitti and muh kala karna. So she wants you to be married off and begin procreating (to think about it it’s not a bad idea, that’s if you aren’t already doing that). And when you get married she’ll complain that now you’ve got your wife/husband you’ve forgotten all about your mother.
Whatever you do she’ll always have something to say. But whatever she says she’ll always love you (and you love her), just that she has a different way of showing it. But no matter what, you will always have to face the mothering paradox.
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