Father and Son: An unspoken conversation

They sat there eating in silence, trying hard not to make an already awkward situation even more awkward. 

The air between them was so rife and thick  with tension that you could cut it with a knife. The silence between them was deafening.

Given a chance they would rather be anywhere but here. But then they had made a promise to her, after she managed to broker an uneasy truce, and so they chose to honour the promise even after she was gone.

Why couldn’t he be like other boys, he thought as he glanced at the boy sitting opposite him. Why couldn’t he just be normal. But no he had to go and be someone different. 

He remembered that long ago he too was once like he was now, wanting to be different, wanting to be someone who would make his mark, someone who would standout form the crowd. But this was not what he did!

He’s still young , he thought, and had his whole life in front of him to do whatever he chose to do, maybe even find a girl and settle down. If he wanted he could marry. But no, he had to go and choose to be something different, someone different. He had to go and make life difficult, make his life complicated. 

Like his wife he too was worried what was in store for him cause he knew life wouldn’t be easy and the world and society wouldn’t be kind to someone like him, in fact it can be cruel to someone like him.

How he wished he would just slow down and be calm, take some  time to think and think a lot. He could  think of everything what he got. He would still be here tomorrow but his dreams may not.

He’s still young and eager and easily malleable, and this was not his fault. But it was not the time to make a change cause there’s a lot he would have to go through. 

Oh only if he could be a normal boy like any other boy, he thought.

As he sat there eating  in silence he felt this uneasiness in his system. He felt uncomfortable. But he had promised his mother, and he was here to honour his promise to her.

How he wished he would just understand, he thought, as he tried to glance to the older man sitting across from him. Why couldn’t he just listen to what he had to say. But when he tried to explain, he would just turn and walk away.

He could understand all his hopes and dreams, but these were not his dreams, it was not the one that he dreamt. This was not who he was. This was who he chose to be.

He knew it would be difficult to accept it but he had to accept it, there were no two ways  about it. 

From the moment he could talk he was ordered to listen, not being allowed to say what he wanted to say, not being heard what he had to say.

This was always going to be same as along as he refused to listen, as long as he refused to understand, as long as he refused to see his point of view. 

This was going to be same old story no matter how much he tried, no matter how they tried to change the narrative.

So they ate in silence, exchanged a few forced pleasantries, a forced hug and went their way hoping they would never have to do this again, but knowing they would do it again cause they had promised her, cause they knew there was a thread, though fragile, bound them together, kept pulling them back to each other.