I ran a 50k.. but I am no Ultra Runner

So I ran a 50k, an Ultra, in running terminology (just in case you were wondering what is this jargon cause the only Ultra you know is your ultra strong beer), but I am no ultra runner. As I mentioned in my Insta post, that’s if you follow me, I.e. rodmandsouza (damn, me and my shameless self-promotion), a single ultra run doesn’t make you an ultra runner. I am neither inclined towards it nor do I have time to train for it , cause it can take the hell out of your daily life, that’s if you even have one thanks to us being slaves to our jobs. It’s never been on my bucket list of things I wanted to do (I did, at one time, toyed with the idea of running the Comrades), but still I found my myself standing at that starting line up waiting for the  click to strike 1:30 (that’s in the am and not the pm, and root cause of my bane).

So here I was at the starting line, waiting for the race start. I had done my stretching, courtesy of Coach, and done all the pre race mingling and socialising, so it was now the time to run. So moment the clock struck 1:30 and the fireworks went off, it was now time to run. So I start off all my apps (well it was three plus my iWatch, damn that’s a lot of tracking devices), make the sign of the cross (though I am not overly religious but these little beliefs I do), and I am off.

I realise I am bringing up the rear, there’s a sea of runners in front of me (surprisingly there are plenty of runners participating in the 50k), but try not to give into the temptation of speeding up. I have this constant voice in my head that sounded like Natty, Maya and my dearest Sangy ma’am , telling me to go slow and start easy and conserve energy, or maybe it’s just my sleep deprived mind playing tricks on me. But whatever it maybe, I am determined to run nice and easy.

So you run pass sleepy villages and sleepy dogs who just ignore you, their sleep way too important than to chase and bark after a group of crazy fools who are pounding the road instead of being tucked up in their beds. You run pass Bushy Dam and reach INS Shivaji, and from there begins your climb.

You decide to walk the slope, paying heed to the advice of Quintin and Ajay, not burning up energy tackling them. And while you run up the slow you take in the moment. The moon’s nowhere to be seen, and stars are out in all their glory. In the distance you have the lights of the town. And if that wasn’t enough, you have the headlamps which you were asked to carry, making it feel like a stream of fire flies slowly making their way up the hill, a kind of homage to the lantern scene from the movie Tangled.

So you slowly make your way up the hill, walking the slopes, slowly jogging where the route flattened. You can heat someone behind you chanting some shlok, which kind of bothers you, but then you are saying your rosary, like you always do (and because you are missing your Sunday mass), you try not to loose focus.

You finally make it to the top, and off you go, trying to run at a steady pace, walking up slopes, but running steadily and constant, not pushing for pace.

It’s a beautiful night, and although the moons is nowhere to be seen, the twinkling stars more than make up for it. There’s a chilly nip in the air that occasionally makes you shiver, making you feel glad you chose to wear a tee and not a vest, like you love to do. There’s silence, except for the feet stomping the road, and the chirping of crickets and the hum of the electricity flowing through the cables above.

You have this constant fear that you may need to crap, since you were not able to do your business in the morning, then you may need to go behind some bush to relieve yourself, like you have done before (shhhhh let this be our little secret). But thankfully that fear doesn’t come to pass.

As you pass by Cloud 9, you miss Srini Sir, with whom you have volunteered so many times in past training runs.

You continue to run up and down inclines and declines, past volunteers who are there in the dark to guide you, past photographers who make you hit your best strides and smiles, running slowly but steadily.

Soon you become kind of restless. You want the the u-then to appear soon, you already past the 35k u-turn, but your u-turn is nowhere in sight. It doesn’t help that you know when the turn will come and your apps doesn’t make it easy by telling you how far you are.

Then you see the first runner go by you, then a second and a third , and so and so forth. You gradually see all those fire flies coming your way, bringing you hope that the much awaited u-turn is coming up soon, but again your apps tell you to be patient .

You try to make out your friends, as they pass you, wondering if you could just turn there and joining them instead of running all those kms. But you continue to soldier on. When you you finally reach the u-turn, it’s like a great relief, you finally reached the halfway mark of you crazy adventure.

And then it’s hits you like a ton of brick. No, no, it’s not the infamous wall, but it was sleep. You begin to doze off, like only you could do, veering treacherously off the road, like a drunken runner who’s had one too many beers before going for a run, or a zombie that’s decided to take up running.

I try hard to wipe the sleep off my eyes, but that doesn’t help. I even put off my music and put my earbuds back. I constantly keep

pouring and splashing water on my face and my eyes, but that doesn’t quiet help either. For a few moment I am wide awake and then I am off in another world, only to find myself in the bushes, like only this sleepy head can do  (just ask Natty and Rups about my capacity to fall asleep). I even approach an ambulance hoping there’s someone who could help me, or even offer me a place to sleep. I even toy with the idea of just going off the road and going to sleep (after all the beautiful cool weather didn’t make it easy in my fight against sleep). I even contemplated about giving up, but then Greens don’t give up, oops I meant D’souzas never give up. So I once again soldier on, constantly battling sleep, constantly veering here and there like a drunken running fool.

A few runners stop by me asking me if I was ok. I sheepishly tell them, well make that sleepishly, tell them that I am ok, just damn sleepy. My head starts to question myself why did I even take up this stupid silly endeavour and at this ungodly hour. But for now there’s nothing I can do but like Dory, but on land, I have to just keep running.

I pass by water stations who by now have run out of water, making you feel the pain of all the slow runners, making you feel worried for the ones behind you. But you can only keep running and hope nothing untoward happens.

By now the suns up but you are grateful that it’s not hot but rather pleasant. The sounds of the birds chirping is like music to the lonely ears.  But every rustling sound in trees makes you attentive least something should leap out and surprise you, and not in a good way. 

By now your sleepiness has gone but there’s still quite a lot of road to cover, and you have miles to go before you sleep (couldn’t resist adding this) and inclines to cover. But now you can proceed steadily.

You finally reach then airforce station, knowing that now it will be just declines and rolling hills, things you can easily cover. So you grab a gloucose water and you are running steadily and strongly, knowing there’s roughly just 10 more kilometres to cover.

By now you are passing your well wishers who had stopped and checked on you when you were sleepy, who marvel on how you were able to make up time. You cheer your fellow runners on, like you love to do, and having conversations too. But once you hit downhill you run steadily and strong and focused knowing there’s just few more kilometres to go. And you got this in the bag.

You marvel at the fact that you haven’t felt s single cramp or muscle pull or soreness. So you definitely did something right. And touchwood, that wouldn’t happen for the last part of the race.

You surprise yourself that you are running at a pace that you started, and though it maybe slow, you don’t feel sore, just you feel a bit tired.

You finally hit the last part and you are even able to speed up and overtake runners, speeding down the ramp and to the finish line, without a single cramp.

You give yourself a cheer and a pat on your back for pushing through sleep and the urge of wanting to giving up, persevering on and getting the run done.

Well no run is complete without gratitude for the people who got you there.

So a big thank you to my dearest coach Jayesh, who has been pushing me and keeping me on my toes, and bearing with all my whining and grumbling (I can be quite the grumpy old man) with regards to my fitness and strength training, which is very important for us runner. 

To coach Girish for your constant motivation and inspiration and your tips and guidance on tackling TUM and not to forget the training runs (although I ran only once and volunteered for the remaining, which is more like me).

To my dearest Sangy ma’am, your advice is my blessing. 

To my support system, my backbone, my constant North Star, Nikhil, Natty, Maya, Rups and Yash, you all gave me so much positivity, and encouragement, even when I doubted myself.  You believed me more than I believed in myself.

To Quintin and Ajay, I learnt soo many things running with you both, so many things I could apply in the race and that worked well. 

To Dyloo l and Panks, I am because I was  able to run with you. 

And to my Stride with GB and MRR family, I am each day grateful that I am part of such wonderful group of runners who have constantly inspired and motivated and cheered me on.

And finally to my family, for being there for me (if my mum was there she would have scolded me for running s 50 and not a 35).

So to answer the question I started with, would running a 50k make me an ultra runner? The answer still is a resounding NO. Cause even though I was able to attempt and complete an ultra, I don’t see myself doing one again (although I am not quite shutting the door on that one), I don’t plan to run another. But then who knows, if some crazy pagal kutta may bite me and I will attempt another. So till then I will savour the fact I ran a 50k and was able to complete it.

I am Never Gonna Not Run Again

After the events of 2020, and the months that followed, I never thought I would race again. Well, not race, but at least run if not to your pre-COVID form. So getting the opportunity to run a Full Marathon of a race that’s close to your heart (well you can say and criticise it all you like, and even call it overhyped, and that may even hold true, but it’s all about the spirit of Mumbai) is indeed a blessing. It’s a way of showing your gratitude of having made it through the pandemic and still have good health and being able to do what you love the most, that is run and dance. 

So signing up for TMM was a no-brainer. So you register, first-day, and get all excited and begin your training for the race. But sadly you have to train by yourself as most of your friends are nursing injuries, runners fatigue, or still trying to find that spark that had spurred them on.

So you train on your own, running within your ability, and the time that you can give to your training, every now and then trying to push yourself to see you can find that form again, the spark within you to actually try and be better. And when you run with others you kind of question yourself if you’re doing enough, every now and then doubting your ability to even run a marathon.

But then here you are on race day, at the holding area, with your bib clipped on (you realise it’s off centre). Your nerves have been playing up, not letting you sleep the previous, and the train running late doesn’t help your nerves. You try to stay calm, try to stay zen block all these out. 

You put on your water belt, tuck your gels in your pouch, put on your Bose Soundsports (yeah I can be kind of brand conscious), you handover your baggage at the counter (after you get someone to get back in line, after all everyone is starting together and there’s no use of cutting line), you make your way to the start point, greeting friends and fellow runners, wishing everyone luck. You relieve yourself just before you start, cause you didn’t want to do it out in open, just stepping out of the station.

You slowly make your way to your holding area and from there to the start line  from your slot. You avoid running to the start like many around you. You put on your music and start all your running apps, and then you see the lights, and it hits you, you are at the start of yet another marathon, but this is going to be special one, cause you’ve made it through the pandemic and now you are blessed with the opportunity to run this race again.

So you start all your apps (I have three, not counting my watch), start your music, make the sign of the cross, and off you go.

At first you try to run steady and strong, trying to pick your pace. You run together with Naresh sir and Quintin, running with them for a while before you go ahead. On the way you see your buddy Thyag running strongly. You desperately fight the urge of going way too fast.

You then realise that your watch has stopped tracking your run and one of your app has been giving you wrong pace. You desperately try not to panic and take everything within your stride. So you just keep running.

So you go on and try and focus on running a good strong first half (as per what Dyloo discussed with you). On the way you get a hug from Kinjal, hi fives and cheers from Manoj, Jitesh and Cheryl, and you being you, you keep a lookout for your friends, and keep cheering everyone on (even if they are on the other side of the road) as you run pass all the construction that’s happening for the costal road. You even make it up Peddar Road without much fuss, even hugging your friends at the MRR water station. 

You keep a track of your body and how it is feeling and your heart beat, grateful to be alive and running. You feel some small niggles and aches, but you keep telling yourself “you’ve got this boy”.

And then you hit the Sea-Link, something that a lot of runners take pride in the fact that they get to run on the Sea-Link. And though it is an experience and an opportunity, it can also be tough due to its hidden incline. And while you are on it you get to witness a beautiful sunrise as it covers the city with a beautiful hue. You dodge people stopping to capture a selfie on the bridge, even obliging your friend Nikhil for a pic (no I am not snob). You too can’t resist the temptation, of capturing the beautiful sunrise (and not a selfie). So you click your pic snd move on.

As you come to the 22 Km mark, you feel a bit of fatigue set in and begin to feel cramps. So you take your walk break, as you discussed with Dyloo. So you walk for 30 seconds, before you start to run again. 

But now you start to feel your legs and the cramping seemed to get worse. You once again try to walk off the cramp. But every time you start to run, well in this case a jog, they come right back again. And then you begin to feel light headed bringing flashback of 2017. 

You slowly and steadily make your way to a medical tent cause you want to check your pressure. And then you are told that you have low blood sugar, thanks to having a late lunch-early dinner, and then not having anything. So you actually did the opposite of 2017 and still had the same problem but this time you are determined not to DNF.

So you will yourself, determined to finish what you have started, so it’s a matter of mind over body.

So you resign yourself to the fact you will have to walk most of the rest of the way. You occasionally try to jog, but your leg is totally jammed up and refuse to obey you. So you continue to walk as people and buses, I mean pacing buses, pass you by.

And while you walk you marvel at the elite runners who pass you by. Damn do they have awesome strides. 

On your way you meet your running buddy Sanket, who like you is determined to finish and willing to walk to the end. You finally have company. On the way you help your fellow runners who are cramping like you. You lend a helping hand and many runners stop to help, that’s what you call  the runner spirit.

On the urging of Saket you begin to jog. After a few kilometres you once again feel your legs, so you have to walk, while your company has taken off and you are once again on your on.

You then reach the dreaded Peddar Road, which to be honest is not at all as dreadful as many make it to be, as it is where you have the spirit of Mumbai on full display, and where else will you be served by the posh people of Mumbai. You are grateful to see your buddy Shweta at the MRR water station, who hands you a bottle of thumbs up that you gratefully sip. Then there’s Charu who has kept aside a bar of snicker and chikki for you with one more bottle of coke. You grateful for these beautiful souls who have been supporting runners since morning.

So you hug them tightly, click pics, say your thank yous, and are off on your way. 

By now your legs feel better, so you once again take off, though not literally or not any literal.

When you come down towards Babulnath you meet an Angel in the shape of Huafrid, who not only eggs you but also starts to pace you to the finish line. You totally grateful for his support. He keeps willing you and pushing you, talking to you, taking your mind off the the work you are putting your body through, not taking no for an answer when you want to stop. Of course, giving up was never an option, not after coming so far and overcoming all the setback. And then you’ve got Huafrid l, an athlete who has overcome all the odds of life to become an awesome inspirational athlete. 

There are moments when you let out a scream of agony, from all the pain and the cramps, and want to just stoop there, but with Huafrid’s support and motivation and the motivation of your friends at the StrideWithGB/ASICS and Kinjal’s support, you keep going.

 When you finally reach the final stretch, Huafrid tells you to give it your all. So you close your eyes, determined to give it your all, running on pure adrenaline. 

You finally cross the finish line, grateful that you did not hobble across it, running strong. You turn around and give your Angel a big hug, almost breaking down, overcome with emotion and gratitude. You fight back pain and tears, grateful to your spirit and determination and your Angel. You struggle to stand or even walk, but you hobble to collect your medal and refreshments, trying to get help for your legs, and at the same time posing for pics. 

Though the run may have not gone as plan, and you are a tad disappointed that you couldn’t make the most of the amazing weather, you are grateful to have being able to finish what you have started. So

you wear that medal with pride and refuse to call your run the worst, cause it wasn’t your worst and you are definitely going to learn from it and come out stronger!

Post Note:  Grateful to my super awesome trainer Jayesh for helping stay fit both physically and mentally and beating with b me. To my super awesome running family at MRR and Stride with GB, always grateful for the support and motivation.To the wonderful and noble Angel volunteers who supported all the runner so wonderfully throughout the race. And to my super awesome buddies Nikhil, Natty, Mata, Kartik, Rups, Dyloo and Pankti for all your support and motivation and inspiration. The race may not have gone the way I would have wanted it to go or I how I hoped it would be but this only going to motivate me to come back stronger. And when all is said and done I am never going to not run again!!!!

.. Here We Go Again!!!

Mamma mia, here I go again

My, my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again

My, my, just how much I've missed you?

That’s exactly what goes through your head when you’re back to running in live events. Yes you’ve said you’ll not run in BKC again, (too many loops, too many twists and turn for my liking), you’ve said that you’ll do only three events a year, one of them being the Mumbai Marathon, but you yet couldn’t resist the temptation of doing another one. And no I am no running snob!!!

But the thrill of running a race, the adrenaline rush, the joy of being able to run with friends, and not to forget all those photo-ops all along the way, and before and after the race, it keeps you coming back for more. 

Plus, if COVID and all the lockdown showed us anything is that you have to make the most of what you have, you never know when it will be taken all away. 

And yes, it’s also shows how good your training is coming along. Let’s face it, for someone like me training is never as fast as actually running in a race.

So you lace up, you dress up, ensuring you are on point (and by that I mean my running gears needs to match, how else would you look good in those running pics, especially when you’re an awkward runner who constantly has the t-Rex arms when he runs). And even though you’ve missed your alarms, you try to stay calm and not go into full on panic mode.

You put on your music, switch on all your running apps, damn I’ve got three, plus my watch, to keep track of your run.

So you try to block out all the twists and turns, which seem more than any twists and turns in a Hindi film (damn I need to retire this dialogue, used it one too many times), you have sweat trickling down your face, while Mark Knofler singing in your ears, “Money for nothing, but the chicks for free!”

You constantly fight the urge to speed up every time you are passed up (and that happens often), but you fist pump every time you better your pace at the end of each kilometre.  You avoid trying to look everywhere, here and there and be focused in the moment. But for a highly distracted soul, that’s next to impossible.

Though the weather maybe horribly humid (it rained the previous day but not a drop to be seen on race day), you remind yourself, this is Mumbai, and the weather is going to be humid! This is what you train for, so suck it up and run! Before thank god there’s a breeze in this concrete maze, so the weather isn’t all that bad.

Finally when you approach that finish line you let the adrenaline surge through your vein and carry you over that line, with all the speed you can muster, hoping that you get at least one good pic to post on Instagram. Or if you are someone like me you are already composing your post while you ran. But before that you need to the most important thing… stop that damn watch and apps and what not you use to track your run.

And then comes the fun part. You get to meet and greet your fellow crazies, who like you may complain about the route and the weather, but will never shy to race again. Not to forget all the post run shenanigans which for me is the cherry on the top, no matter how good or bad your run may have been you got indulge in all the craziness and the photoops.

On a serious note, for someone who has been battling with issues related to weight, speed, loneliness, anxiety, these races really help. It gets your adrenaline pumping, it shows you how far you’ve come and teaches what to do to go even further. Those few moments, amongst your peers keeps your loneliness and anxiety at bay, letting you enjoy yourself, letting you be your crazy Runnaholic self! And even though you maybe far from your best, you always know you can do better, and slowly and steadily you are inching towards your better self. 

So even though you prefer to train rather than races, or you have a quota races you will run in a year, or you feel you are not ready to race, you will still run, you still race, cause…. “Tramps like us, baby you were born to run!!!!”