It’s a Wonderful After Life

They say when you die your whole life flashes in front of your eyes. So where was my showreel? Surely I had something to show for the life I have lived. It’s been how long since I passed away, crossed over to the other side, no more, gone to heaven, definitely not sleeping with the fishes, or whatever you may want to call it. Wow, it’s whole five minutes only, but it seems like it has been hours. Time seems to go by so slowly in the after life. Wow you can see life in slow motion.

Anyway, that can happen later, I am in no hurry to see my showreel, after all I ain’t going anywhere. But where’s the bright light that will guide me? Strange, haven’t seen any dead people, where are my fellow travellers in the afterlife? Now I can finally say, I can see dead people, but then I am one of them too. Strange how life can change in a matter of seconds.

Well, this wait is quite excruciating, more excruciating than waiting for death. Don’t you think I had enough and now I deserve rest? Well seeing all these people mourning my passing seems to dampening the moment. There’s nothing you can do, I know... 

when I am gone

When I am gone

You’re going to miss me when I am gone

You’re going miss by my hair

You’re going to miss Me everywhere 

You’re going to miss me when I am gone

I know it’s a difficult moment, it’s never easy saying goodbye, especially when it comes to someone you love and can’t do without, a void that you can’t fill, but...

Kiss me and smile for me

Please don’t shed a tear for me

Cause then you’ll never be able

To let me go

Cause I am leaving on my way to heaven

Don’t think I’ll ever be back again

Oh babe, I have to go

Wow, looks like death has made me quite the creative person. Oh well, I have to wait till I get the instruction text (like we do in elearning). So might as well as make the most of this time.

What’s this, i have received a ping here, quite impressive reception in the after life (by the way, where exactly is here?) so according to this message I can only get Mukti if my loved my loved ones release me, in short I am going to be here for quite a while. 

Come on people, I’ve lived a full but not quite a long life, but whatever life I have lived I have lived the life the way I want to, the life I was meant to live. So please don’t be selfish and....

Please release me, let me go

I am not living anymore

Please release and let me

Go on my way to heaven

Wow, I must say Death is bringing out the creative best in me. I swear I can script Afterlife: the Musical. Anyway till then I will spend my time doing Nonsensical l. 

Well for starter, nothing is hidden once you’re dead, all secrets will be known, and I am not talking my own. No secrets or thoughts shall remain hidden. 

The thing I’ve seen and heard makes me wish there was someone who I could share this juicy gossip with. Like those gossipy aunties who have juicy gossips but no one to share it with. There’s so much to share but no one to share it with. But then hearing about them has not only got me astonished but it has also kept me entertained.

As entertaining as it  is to hear the thoughts of others and see how they behave (which so often is opposite to what they are thinking, such hypocrites I say) what’s taking it so long to get my turn to meet my maker, to meet St Peter at the Pearly Gates. I have not seen a single soul, literally, since I’ve passed, apart from mourners. Where are all the souls gone?

Woooh what’s happening, why am I being pulled back to my body? What’s happening? Where am I? Who are you? What do you mean I was in surgery and now I am in recovery? Ain’t I dead? Why are you laughing? You mean to say I was under anaesthetics, sedated.

So I have been hallucinating the whole while. Oh dang! So it’s back to living and being alive.

The Last Breath

He sat there watching her breathe, a struggle with every breath, an occasional sputter of cough. He knew this day would come, he knew it all would end, but now that it was upon him, he found himself numb, struggling to put a lid on his emotions. Ever since the first diagnosis and through the countless chemo sessions, he tried to steel himself for what was to come. But now that the moment had come he found himself lost. 

They say when the going gets tough the tough gets going, you find strength somehow especially when you needed it the most. So why wasn’t he feeling strong? Had strength deserted him in his hour of need? He felt helpless and hopeless not knowing what to do, to hapless to take decisions.

He felt a stab of guilt for having gone for a group run instead of being there with her. So there he sat, staring at her every breath. Her eyes emoting the pain she couldn’t speak of. He sat there by her side, trying to give her comfort, as comforting her was all he could muster himself to do. Hunger had deserted him. He just sat there by her side.

By evening her breathing grew heavier and more laboured. Her eyes glazed over. He knew the end was near, but what should he do? Just let her go or give it one last Short? And then he had the feeling of guilt and what would be people would say.

He managed to get a doctor to check on her, who just allied what he already feared. She was sinking and it would be any moment, admitting her to a hospital would only mean putting her on a ventilator and prolonging her pain. He didn’t want this for her, cause he knew she went through enough.

So after after paying the doctor’s fees and thanking him for his honest advice, he asked his mum and neighbour to rest as sat by her side. He felt she would fight through till his siblings arrived, cause they were her life. 

He sat by her side. The exertion of the day and the emotions began to weigh him down and grow heavy on his eyelids. He tried his best to fight it but in the end gave into it. 

It may have been only for a brief while that his eyes were shut, when he shook himself out of his daze. Something was  amiss. He realised it was all done. She was now in a better place. Fighting back tears and emotions. He kissed her gently on her forehead and said a silent goodbye, then looking up to the heavens he muttered a  thank you, and went to the bedroom to inform his mother.

Death: The Other Side

Death how cruel and unkind you are

How cold and heartless you can be

Snatching from us

What is so beloved

Leaving our lives with an empty space

A vacuum that can never be filled

How could you be so cruel

Taking away so many

In the prime of their lives

Into an eternal sleep

Never to wake again

How do you live with yourself

Don’t you hear the wails and cries

Of those left behind

Left to pick the pieces of a broken live

That has been shattered to pieces

When you take away 

Their Reason to live

Their anchor, their support

How could you be so dead

How could you be so heartless

What did we do to deserve this sorrow

Why did you take them away from us

But then dear death

How misunderstood you are

Not truly understanding your true purpose

Yes we view as a monster

A skeleton lurking in the dark

A reaper with his weapon

But you don’t deserve 

All the curses and complaining 

It is we who are the selfish ones

For its our selfish thoughts

That we don’t truly understand 

The purpose of your actions

We just want 

What we think is right for us

Not thinking about the departed

What is right for them

For the pain they feel

Their suffering and agony

You set them free from the pain

From the bonds that holds them

Setting their souls free

We are so blinded to our pain

That we don’t see their suffering

We can’t see them in pain

But we continue to hope for a miracle

Doing all we can for them

Never truly understanding

That this hope however noble

Is actually cruel

Cause we continue to hold on

When what we should be doing

Is letting go

Bidding farewell, no matter how

Painful it may seem

Dear death we are truly sorry

Out tears have blurred our vision

Our sorrows has clouded our minds

We truly never understand your purpose

But sorrow takes over us

Cause loosing someone dear to us

Something we never want

And never wish upon anyone else

Till then we will try and cope with our pain

To do our best to return to a life

We know we need to live

And continue