The Buttkissing Inc

You find them everywhere, in every nook and corner, in every walk of life. There’s just no escaping them. Where there’s power, perceived power, you’ll find them. Like a heron that sits on the heads of buffaloes eating the ticks and bugs on them, or like the little fishes that swim with the whales, eating things that stick on the bigger fish, or like a leech that attaches itself on the host, sucking the blood of it. They find their intended host, attach themselves and never let go till their purpose is served.

They consider themselves shinning stars, shinning brightly for all to see. And if they aren’t shinning brightly they’ll borrow light from others but ensure that they shine brighter, and everybody who’s anybody, sees their light. Jaga-maga mala baga. But like stars they are full of gas (not necessarily of the flatulent kind) and their head filled with excess of air. Like the stars they keep hovering above the ground.

Butter seems to be their favourite food, and buttering their favourite activity. They love to lay it on thick on people who they love to flatter. They’ll never shy away and will use every opportunity that present itself to butter. They love to flatter, they love stroke the ego, every word that rolls off them seems to be dripping with honey (makes you wonder if they have an hidden stash of unending supply of honey).

They are adept in the art of making a mountain of a mole hill. And if they don’t have one, they’ll porch on that of others and make it their own. Everything they do has a purpose, a deeper meaning, a reason that cannot be perceived by the naked eye, or the naked mind. Nothing they do is without reason, without an underlying purpose, or from the bottom of their heart. Dil dariya baki sab pani. Nothing they do is ever is insignificant, and even it is, they make sure to make it significant. Everything they do they’ll make sure everyone see it, marvel at it, sing their praises. Come appraisal time and they’ll go into buttering overdrive.

Sometimes I wonder if these creatures have any sort of integrity, any form conscience, a spine, or have they lost these long ago, or have they become so immune. I wonder how they can live with themselves, how do they sleep at night. There’s nothing wrong with being career oriented but it shouldn’t come at the cost of others, by stepping on the toes of others, putting others down so that they can seem climb up, taking credit for things they haven’t done, more like stealing it.

No matter how you wish to avoid them, there’s no escaping them. No matter what you try to do, no matter where you go, you can’t avoid them, cause you are always going to come across the Buttkissing Inc.