Where did she go wrong? What did she do wrong? Was there something that she did, or something she didn’t do? Her head was swimming with so many questions with no answer in sight. Why did he spurn her, if spurn was the right word to be used here? Hadn’t she been an obedient, loving wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law, in line with the vows which they had made to each other, in the presence of their loved ones and friends? Then why did he want to separate? Where did she go wrong?
There were so many questions racing in her mind, but she couldn’t find the root to her situation, leaving her hopeless, helpless, in despair. Her world seemed like it was falling apart, sinking speedily into a black hole, threatening to take her with it, to swallow her whole. She was restless from not knowing what to do, he had blindsided her.
Her eyes were red from crying, her face stained with her tears. She had locked herself in their room, refusing to come out, not for him or anyone, or even food. She refused to take anything, all she did was sob uncontrollably till she fell asleep. But then sleep came to her in fits, and when she woke, she once again realised the hopelessness of her situation and started to cry again till she fell asleep again.
She went through this cycle a few more times till she could cry no more. She had used up all her tears, she had no more tears to cry, like she had dried up all her tears. The feeling of hopelessness and despair made way to a simmering fire that was lit by his betrayal. A steady rage, an anger seemed to rise in her chest. Why should she waste her tears on the betrayer of her trust, the oath breaker, back stabber. Yes his action had left shellshocked and crestfallen, but why should she be a pitiful figure. He had betrayed her and now he should pay for it, she would make him pay for it. She would make him pay for it, she would make pay for every last teardrop on her pillow, every teardrop she shed for him. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, now there was hell for him to pay. She would make him feel the heat of her fury.
She couldn’t sleep, she just didn’t want to get mad, she wanted to get even. She was so filled with rage and hatred towards him that she was surprised to see his call. She didn’t want to talk to him, she didn’t want to hear him, she didn’t want to do anything with him. She tried to ignore the ringing phone but her persisted till she finally relented out of spite and anger, if nothing else.
She wanted to scream into her phone, but there was something about his voice that began to calm the tempest within her. He begged her to hear him out, he was prepared to face the consequences after that. He knew that nothing he could say or do could stop the chain of events that he had set in motion, the hurt he had caused her, undo his decision. He knew he was the cause of the pain, and given a chance he wished if he could do without causing her pain, but there was no way around it and he had to do it.
This marriage wasn’t what he had wanted, in fact he was forced into, coerced into something he didn’t want, emotionally blackmailed into it. He tried his best to give her the love she deserved, the love she desired, the love he couldn’t give her. He couldn’t find it in himself to love her, he could love no woman. It would be wrong on his part to good on living a lie. It was eating him from inside, and he couldn’t live with that guilt on his conscience. Therefore he decided to put an end to it.
He was prepared for the worst, prepared to face the consequences of his decision. He had inadvertently hurt her and he was ready to pay for it. He was prepared to support her financially through out her life. He knew doing this may cause her initial pain but he was setting her free from living a life of lie, from an empty relationship that acted like a prison.
When they finally finished their conversation, she placed her phone at the side, took a deep breath and stared into space in front of her. She knew he was a man of his words, and would never go back on it. What he said rang true cause they had yet to consummate their marriage, and barring this situation, even here he had not wronged her, it was just that while making making things right he had caused he le pain. But he had set her free. She took a deep breath as she felt drained, she had run the whole gamut of emotions, from despair to rage, to pity, and now in a way she felt liberated, she felt free. She felt sorry for him, a pity towards him, but now she needed to think for herself, think about herself. He had set her free and now was the time to make the most of it, take control of her life, live it on her own terms. She finally found hope, and for the first time she smiled.
No comments:
Post a Comment