Could I have this Dance

As he slowly took a bite of his pizza, he smiled at the person sitting opposite to him, who was engrossed in the conversation, who caught his eye and smiled back at him. 

There was a cool breeze in the evening air, making the cafe the ideal place to be. Not to mention that their seats faced the park giving them a wonderful view of the people who were unwinding in the park, some by themselves, others with friends or family, enjoying a cool evening in the park. 

The cafe was slowly filling with the regulars patrons, and some new faces. It was that time of the evening where the cafe was the place to be. The waiters were busy taking and delivering orders, dodging each other, weaving their way through the mired of patrons.

He focused his gaze on him and continued to nod as he spoke, trying to take in what he said. He admired his youthfulness, his beauty of his face, he admired his exuberance of youth. He felt drawn to him, sucked into his orbit, addicted to him. It also reminded him of the difference in their age, there in lay his biggest concerns.

They had met on a dating app. His friends had warned him against the young ones who they felt were immature, inexperienced, eager to please, moody. But sex was not what he was looking for so he responded to the taps and pings irrespective of the age, trying not to let any sort of biases get the better of him, trying not bring in the questions of labels. In a way he was glad he did that.

They had been chatting with each other for a while, been out for coffees, chats, lunches and movies. But their age differences kept him in check, kept him from falling for the handsome youth who currently sat in front him. They shared everything with each other, heartbreaks and failed romances, ill fated dates, dates that ended well, dates that were a disaster. They chatted about their lives, studies and work, shared the annoying, ironical and the downright amusing incidents that happened to them. How he hoped that something would click with every date, how he was totally in his head.

He felt comfortable and safe in sharing his life with him, and that was what drew him. But he knew while he had all his life in front to experience it, to make the most of it, time was not his side. He yearned for stability, he yearned to settle down. Why should heterosexual men be the only one to be able permitted to have a family, to have children, why couldn’t a gay man have the same? Why only celebs could adopt kids, have kids of their own? 

He never did consider himself as closeted man but he didn’t feel the need to announce himself to the world. It was his choice to live the way he chose to, and he  loved it that way, he didn’t feel the need to say it out loud, announce his sexuality, his orientation. Those who needed to know already knew about it, and he never denied it when asked about it. But he did feel uncomfortable when friends unknowingly passed insensitive and phobic Comments.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t know he was asking him something.

He sheepishly nodded his head and smiled at him. 

He clearly remembered the first time they met. He was hesitant to meet at first, but finally when they met he felt as ease. He made it clear about the age issue. But despite all the walls he put up he felt drawn to him. He wondered if he could get over the age block. Could they work? And how was he even pondering these thoughts. But he knew all the walls that he had put up, were now melting, his defences were crumbling down. He was scared of getting hurt cause he had been hurt and broken before that left him bruised and damaged. 

Yet here he was, despite all his defences, falling for the man sitting opposite him. Like a moth to the flame, he felt drawn towards him, leaving him with the only possible outcome of being burned. But despite all his doubts, he wondered why he felt this way for the man before him? Should he give into feeling and risk it all, or should just let it go, for the best? He always felt happy and nice being around him, he felt a sense of well-being, he felt safe and secure whenever they were together.

Just then, a familiar song began to play, the one he had heard before, the one that such a big part of growing up years. And that moment he stood up and took his hand, pulled him close, till their bodies touched and swayed in unison, he began to slow dance to the music. He didn’t care that the people stared, he wanted to be in that moment. And as the song played on, he found his answer.

Could I have this dance

For the rest of our lives

Would you be my partner 

Every night

When we’re together 

It feels so right 

Could I have this dance 

For the rest of my life

He lent towards him till he could feel his breath on his face, he could feel his body close to him, he could see that look in his eyes. And those luscious lips tempted him. He pulled him closer and kissed him, kissed him passionately. He didn’t care of what people said or what they talked, he knew he had to give love a chance.

Many years, and many dates later, they once again found themselves dancing together, in front of their family and friends, after they made vow to be each other. And as the song played, he rested his head on his chest, he could smell the top of his head, a smell which intoxicated him. He kissed on the forehead and then on the lips, continuing to dance, knowing that he had to give love a chance.

I'll always remember the song they were playin'

The first time we danced and I knew

As we swayed to the music and held to each other

I fell in love with you

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

Would you be my partner every night?

When we're together it feels so right

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?