Goodbye... the saddest word

As he slowly began to pack things into boxes he sensed her presence in the room. It was like she was never gone, every little thing, every nook and corner bore her memories. It was like the house had absorbed her essence and now that he was packing, moving out, it was very cruelly reminding him of her. It had been two years, to the date that he had to say goodbye to her, the hardest thing he had ever done, something he never had wanted to do ever again.

He thought he had it all. He was married to the love of his life, they had a beautiful baby boy and another on the way. But life took a cruel turn. She was diagnosed with the Big C. They thought they would fight and win, after all weren’t there others who did. They believed they could, they could conquer it, overcome it. But then it was not meant to be, they weren’t meant to victorious over it. She wouldn’t be called a survivor though she was more than that, she a superhero, but then not all superheroes make it through, some perish in a snap.

So when the inevitable was imminent, she began to plan for what was to come, preparing herself, her boys (yes they had a second boy), preparing him. She oh so coolly but so cruelly suggested that he get a supermodel as a date for her funeral, he protested saying over his dead body, she coolly replied, no darling over mine. He knew that even though she joked about it, she was hurting inside. He knew it killed her that she wouldn’t be able to see her boys grow up, she wouldn’t able to witness the major events in their lives, at least not in person. And so she wrote letters to them, to be given to them on their birthdays, so they would never forget her and she would live in their hearts through her words.

Her coffin was the heaviest thing he had ever lifted, cause it not only bore her weight but it also bore the weight of his heart, which weighed a ton from the sorrow. He had to snap out of the grieving process, he couldn’t grieve for too long, after all he was a single father, he had his boys to take care of, and he had no clue how. Though he had the help of his parents and her parents, he still had to learn the ropes and that was taking him time. He was there for others who needed him but he didn’t have anyone to help him grieve.

As he continued to pack, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. In the entire process of coming to grip with his situation, coping with life as a single father, he had let himself go. He was a pale self of the man he used to be. He had been there for others now he needed to take care of himself, cause in doing so he would be able to give his boys the life they deserved. He had planned to visit a friend who was a stylist and had taken on herself to groom him, to whip him into shape. And he had set a deadline of his housewarming party to present a new self.

As the movers loaded the last box on the truck, he glanced around. Everything seemed so empty, everything seemed to bare. It felt like it was stripped bare and now stood naked. But even in it all he could still feel her presence around. As he locked the door, one last, he couldn’t help but let himself grieve. He muttered a soft goodbye and then turned and moved on.

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear

Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near

Someday you'll say that word and I will cry

It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again

Until then

Goodbye