A Second Chance

She was young and enthusiastic, with a lot of hopes and dreams. She had fought her way to a good education, cause her parents didn’t believe they needed to invest in her, cause once she reached a marriageable age they would get her married to a suitable boy, then her only duty would be to him and his family, and to the children she would bear him. Where was the use of a good education then. They wouldn’t see it any other way. But still she pleaded and begged and bargained, to get herself the education she needed.

She was bright and beautiful and a promising student, always at the top of her class. Her teachers and professors saw a bright future for her, and she too wanted the future they saw for her. But she was aware of what she was up against, a family that didn’t support her, who would rather see her learning the ways of a housewife rather than pouring hours over her books. They didn’t quite take much pride in her academic achievements and constantly reminded her of the destiny they saw for her, which didn’t involve education.

But still she didn’t loose hope and tried to make the most of  that which was afforded to her. She tried her best to postpone, to delay, the inevitable. Happy and content with the shape her life was beginning to take, hoping her achievements would convince them otherwise. But then her life swerved. She was married off, finally giving in, when her parents’ patience wore thin.

He was a simple man, with simple taste, nothing quite remarkable or out of the ordinary, not quite the man she had hoped she would marry. He had a stable job and was able to provide for her. However he didn’t encourage her to continue with her education, and she was afraid to broach the topic with him. In many way he was like her parents, sharing their ideology, their ways of thinking. Maybe that was the reason they were eager for her to marry him. 

She finally gave into to her situation, settling into the rhythms of a domestic life, taking care of him and his needs, never getting anything much in return. When she finally conceived, she desperately prayed that her unborn child wouldn’t be a girl, she didn’t want her to go through the same fate she had been through. 

Much to her relief and his delight, along with that of their families, she gave birth to a baby boy, giving them the “Ghar ka Chirag” which they craved for, that they desperately wanted , to further the family’s name. She added another title to her already burdened head, a mother. Taking care of the needs of her child and husband became her life, and her needs no longer took a back seat but was all but forgotten. She just gave in into this way of life.

Just when it seemed nothing more could happen to her, life took yet another swerve. He was involved in a fatal crash, loosing his life on the spot. She felt like her world had came crashing down. It wasn’t like he was the love of her life. In fact she was with him out of a sense of obligation, a sense of duty, and now all that changed. She had to dedicate her life to her son.

Being an independent woman she refused to take help, not out of pride or ego, but she knew she had the faculty to provide for her son, and she did just that, devoting her life to his upbringing, ensuring he got what she didn’t have. Her entire life went caring for him.

He grew up to be a fine young man, respectful to all, thanks to the values she had inculcated in him. He was handsome and successful young man who had girls and guys clamouring for a bit of attention, if not the entire attention. She was constantly pestered by relatives to get him married to the proposal they brought. But she knew her son and this was decision she left to him, and didn’t want to force upon.

When he finally did get married it was with a girl of his choice, out of love, but not before taking his mother’s blessing, which she happily gave. He moved out of the house to set up a home of his own. She knew he didn’t have to do this, he could continue to live in this house, but she knew he was independent like her and wouldn’t have it any other way. So she didn’t stop him. 

For the first time she found herself all on her own. It wasn’t like he didn’t check on her, but for all logical purpose she was living on her own.

One day, while she was out, she spotted someone who made her heart race, someone from her past that she had long but forgotten, buried in the back of her mind. He was someone from her college who she had a huge crush on, and learned from one of her few friends that he too was asking about her too.  Afraid at what her parents would say, and already burdened from all their restrictions, she didn’t act upon her feelings. Seeing him once again flooded her with all those feelings. She suddenly felt like a giddy little girl meeting her crush for the first time. Age had been kind to him and he hadn’t lost his youthful features to time. 

She tried her best to avoid him, wondering if he had ever noticed her then, would he remember now? To her shock he actually did recognise her and walked towards her. She tried to keep calm and not act like the girls who would hang around him during their college days. But no matter what she tried she still had this giddy feeling, making her go weak in her knees, a feeling she hadn’t felt in a while, actually in forever.

He was surprised that she didn’t live up to all the potential she held, the expectations that her professors had from her. She on her path was surprised that someone has good looking like him was single. They both surprised each other with their life choices. She tried hard to maintain her composure as she chatted with him, fighting a conflicting feeling of wanting to just runaway from there and the same time frozen to the spot where she stood, drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.

They chatted for a while trying to catch up with each other, trying make up for lost time, before time ran out on them and they had to return to the lives they lived, the one they knew. He promised to meet her soon, actually asking her out to dinner. She surprised herself by accepting his invite, something that she never did, something so unlike her. But she did it and now she had to keep her word, something that was very much like her.

Over the next couple of weeks they ended up running into each other, meeting each other. Sometimes over coffee, other time over tea, brunch, lunch and dinner. She enjoyed his company, he on his part encouraged her to get back to the life she put on hold because of marriage, a life she didn’t think she would be able to return to. He encouraged her to pursue her dreams which she had long since forgotten, she had lost all hope of chasing, and didn’t think it would be possible at her age. But yet here she was chasing them with his support.

She began to feel more alive than she had ever felt, more independent, more confident. She began to feel drawn towards him, an attraction, something she had never ever felt, something she never thought she was capable of. But still here she was falling for this man who supported her and encouraged her to find herself, the one she had lost, the one she long since forgotten. She wondered if he felt the same way towards her. But then she was afraid of what he felt towards her, she was afraid of society and what it would say. And was worried what her family and friend would think of her. But she argued that she was a person and as a person she deserved to be loved. But she was not too sure what to do, she has no one to confide in, to discuss her feelings.

Then one day, while she was meeting him for lunch, her daughter-in-law saw them together. She didn’t have a very close with her, this was due to the fact that they didn’t make time to get to know each other. She felt a bit embarrassed and her initially thought was that of flight! But she knew she was doing no wrong, nothing to be embarrassed about. So she tried not to look embarrassed.

Her daughter-in-law looked at her and gave her warm smile, something that she didn’t expect. She came over and hugged her and like a dutiful daughter-in-law sought her blessings. Though she was surprised by her gesture, she maintained her composure and returned the warmth that she felt. She introduced her to him, and asked her to join them, but since she was already with her friends she said it was nice seeing and returned to her table.

Throughout the lunch they was an awkward silence between them, as they tried not to broach upon the topic. That evening she was surprised to receive a call from her daughter-in-law, who said it was so wonderful to see her, and apologised for not spending too much time of getting to know her. But then that was something they both were guilty of. They continued on to have a wonderful chat between them. They spent quite a while on the phone that evening, after all there was years of catching up to do. Where did the time go, they didn’t know.  She promised to come over for lunch so that they could continue their catch up.

The next day, as promised, they met each other for lunch, which then extended to tea and beyond. That day their bond grew so strong that the formal title of “in-law” got lost by the way side, and they didn’t even realise it. For the first time she felt a longing for a daughter, which she didn’t want have because of the struggle she had faced growing up, and yet now she found herself with a daughter, who may have not come from her womb, but was her daughter nonetheless, by law. 

With every moment they spent, their bond grew stronger. They learned so much about each other, their hopes, their dreams, their lives. Her daughter (cause now it was no longer in law, more by heart) was both surprised and proud to learn that she had began to pursue her dreams (with his support). She promised that she would be on board with her 100%, to stand with her and support her, and even get her son on board with it. Then she coyly asked her about him, to which she had no response, or didn’t know how to respond. How could she tell her how she felt about him without the fear of what society would have to say, more importantly, what her son would have to say about it. But she didn’t have to say anything cause her daughter understood it from the look in her eyes. She just told her do what her feels to do, to follow her heart.

From that day on they made it point to catch up with each other every day, whether in person, over breakfast, lunch, tea or dinner, or over the phone. They shared everything with each other, she even found the courage to share about him. And as promised she stood behind her 100%, even convincing her son to get on board. She became her source of support and strength, along with him. 

When she finally completed her graduation, which she had initially abandoned for marriage, they all stood in the crowd and cheered her on. That night as they celebrated her feat, he got down on one knee and proposed to her. She was taken a back, shocked at what was happening, but at the same time delighted. She nervously looked towards her son, to study his reaction to what happened. He smiled and gave her a nod of approval, as both of them was already in on this secret. It became the most joyful moment of her life, something she thought she would never have.

Few months later, they got married in a small, intimate ceremony, involving just few near and dear ones. That day as she got dressed, with the help of her daughter, she embraced her and whispered in her ears with a mischievous smile, “I know why you did all this, you wanted to get rid of me”, to which her daughter replied, “Yes, I wanted to get rid of you, the old you, so you could find the new you, your second chance in life.” To that they both laughed and hugged each other tightly, with a sense of warmth and gratitude for each other. She then escorted her mother out, symbolically moving her from her old life, into the new one, her second shot at life.