Horn OK Please

Picture this, you are riding down the road on your two-wheeler, say an Activa, Scooty, or even moped (all these in my case). You're focus is all on the road ahead. Maybe you do not want to go into a pothole, or you want to keep a safe distance from the vehicle ahead (maybe it's a lady driver or an auto guy who thinks he's an F1 driver or one confused rider not sure where they want to go). Your focus is razor shape, you can even cut butter with it, when all of a sudden your focus is broken because of an incessant honking coming from behind you. You turn around to notice that it is from a driver who wants to get ahead of you and wants you to move out of his, or even her, way. 

How often have you been either at the receiving end or the perpetrator of a mindless horn blowing. We are indeed a horn happy generation who loves to blow our horn for no apparent reasons. Not caring where we are or what we are doing.

The horn honkers always seem to be in a perpetual hurry to get to their destination. Makes you wonder why the hell did they not leave early, or on time, in the first place. They feel that the road is theirs to ride on and you are trespassing by riding on their side of the road. They will continue to honk till you give up in frustration and give way. Even then they will give you the stink eye, or with daggers in their eyes, as if you have committed a mortal sin against them.

Sometimes I have even tried to rationalise the reason for this habit. Maybe they want to help riders like me, who have a dangerous habit of dozing off, to stay awake. Honking helps to bring us back from a slumber. Or maybe they just want to frighten the jay walkers, who have strayed too far to the middle of the roada all lost in their music or texting or just plain chatting on their phone.

Whatever the logic for their honking may be, it seems like they fallen in love with their sound of their horn, and they don't want to keep this love to themselves but want to share it with the world; after all sharing is caring, even if it is frightening. With sharing this sound with the world, the world become a honky tonk place with the musicality of the horns. We are indeed a horn happy people.

Home on a Jet Ski

The monsoons in Mumbai can be something else, of you experience one. You should never believe the municipal when they say they made all the preparations and are ready for the rains, for usually they are never prepared. The first signs of a steady downpour and Mumbai turns into our very Venice, and thats not in a pleasant way.

The past night it had been raining, or should I say, pouring, steadily. So my mom took it upon herself and tried to dissuade me from going to the gym this morning, but being the gymholic that I am, I had to go. So I ended up at the gym being more wetter without even actually lifting a muscle.

To my surprise, after my gym, I was able to make it to the office without trying to stifle a yawn or dosing off on my bike, oops I meant Activa. So there's a good sign, no bad joojoo of it being the bitter seventeen. 

Anyway, it continued to pour through the day and the rain showed no signs of letting up. So when it was time to go, was really hoping for a way to make it home dry as a bone, but that was not to be. So got all suited up in my rain gear, took out my activa and made the sign of the cross ( of course I was petrified to ride in the rain).

Making my way up the slopes towards Kailash Complex I was greeted by sight that made me go what in the sweet Lord was this (not the exact words, but hey got to keep it clean and less colourful) and how will I make it through. Cause there was a stream of steady water running down the slope. Going through it made feel like I was riding a jet ski on a choppy sea. Began to imagine I was part of Baywatch (the David Hasselhoff one and definitely not the Piggy Chops), almost wanting to dive in to the water. As my activa waded through the water all I wanted to do is put my hands up in the air and go Wee! But hey I was the rider and not the pillion, and unless I wanted to fall into the water, then I should not do that.

Reaching Powai made secretly wish that my bike, sorry, I meant activa, was amphibious and there was a way from Powai to Marve, a secret route, which I could take and avoid the traffic. Alas, there's none, not even the Mithi river has a way (which in any case wouldn't take to avoid the stench). So I was left to travel down the JVLR. 

Since I never did like travelling down the JVLR (even though I have to take it every morning) and drive slower than a grandmother (not that I know of any grandmothers who ride a two-wheeler) I decided to be a bit adventurous and make it through Aarey (which incidentally is my usual evening route). So passing through L&T I weaved my through traffic, weave in, weave out ( very much like wax in and wax out from the Karate Kid movies).

Now travelling through Aarey would mean trying to spot woodland critters and enjoying the vegetation, but in the rains the only thing you need to spot is potholes and try to dodge it along with the oncoming traffic.

Traversing down Aarey, suddenly got an urge of nature beckoning me. Felt like I was going to burst, like I can't fight this feeling anymore, I've forgotten when I had taken a leak before. So had to stop and relieve myself before proceeding on.

Being on a two-wheeler gives you the unique opportunity of circumventing the lines of tail lights and go straight ahead to the front of the line. But then came to a stop cause a bus couldn't get through. Damn you two-wheelers always trying to make way without thinking, but hey even I was a part of it, but then I Ride an Activa which technically is not a bike.

So made it through streams of flowing, gushing waters, dodging potholes and in coming traffic, slowly made my way to the highway. Now even though the rain let up a bit, there was a still a humongous jam, thanks to the Metro, idea of which is to make traveling easier. So until it is finally operational, we've gonna have a miserable time in traffic, dodging tariffic, dodging jay walkers.

So finally, almost two hours after leaving office, made my way home. Phew, pleased to have survived the rains and the traffic. But inspite of all the rain gear, I ended up soaking wet. 

Throughout the ride back home, all I could think of is Yipee got to make my way back home to download the first episode of Games of Thrones (cue the theme in my head, or the Rains of Castemere, if was feeling a little sadistic) and what do I write in the post and make it a bit humorous. So I really hope you like it.