You can’t hurry LOVE!!!

You can’t hurry LOVE, you just have to wait, LOVE don’t come easy!

It’s going to make you wait and wait till you can’t take the wait no more. And just when you want to give up on it, it will slowly creep up on you, like a burglar in the night (if this still happens in a very digital world), and steal your heart without you knowing.

It will make you work and work and work with no outcome! It will show you an oasis only for it to turn out to be a mirage! 

It will make you kiss a thousand of frogs (not that I am calling the ones who I’ve dated frogs, just using the analogy, and now I am greatly digressing form the topic) till you find the one! 

On the plus side you get to meet and kiss (and much more) a few, if not many, till you eventually get there, if you are open to meeting them all.

You can’t hurry love, it’s going to take its own sweet time to get to you (if you’re lucky enough for it to find its way to you).

And although you may wear your heart on your sleeves, you can’t make a heart to love, to see you as a potential mate. And let’s face it, if you have to make someone see you that way then that may not be worth it, cause you can’t really make someone love you, you can’t force someone to have those feelings for you, just as you can’t do the same for you. You can’t hope for someone to fall in love with you, to see you for who you are and what you could be, if they are not ready for you, if they don’t want to.

And if they say that they are not in the same place as you are, they need time, know that you are better off not waiting and hoping and pining. You are doing a disservice to yourself (and the same applies when you are the one saying this).

If it has to happen it will happen. Never keep your hopes up, or hold your breath, cause it could only lead to headaches and heartbreaks (lucky are the few who’s waiting are rewarded). 

There’s going to be false starts and dead-ends and paths that lead to nowhere, going around in circle, all adding to the anxiety and tension that racks us.

But then we are fools, even after knowing it all we will still be shameless and loose our mind and sleep and increase our anxiety and hope, when we need to patient (and not become a patient of our of our own doing). Love’s going to take its own sweet time.

We are going to react when Cupid strikes with his arrows behaving like a fool, when we should be rational.

So in short, you can’t hurry love. You’ve just have to wait. Love doesn’t come easy!!!!

In your city

It feels strange to be in the same city 

Where we first met in person

Where we consummated our love

Strengthened our bond 

And not meet you 

Every place brings back a memory

Of the place we have been to

And although it’s been well over a year

These memories are still fresh in my mind 

Each place reminds me 

Of the moments we spent together 

Of the memories we made

The love we expressed to each other 

And although we are no longer together 

I wonder if you are thinking of me too

And although I believe I have moved on

I can’t help but wonder

If you are missing me too

And though I know I have tried to move on

Somewhere deep inside me I miss you

Somewhere I hope to run into you

To see you 

To see how you are doing 

If you are doing fine

If you are doing well

If you have moved on too

Or if you even know and think of me too

And though I know it’s not possible

And not healthy for me too

I just hope one day I will meet you

In the place where we met for the first time 

Where it all began 

When I was in your city!!!

From sea to shore

As he stood on the deck outside his cabin, trying to see what lay in front of him. He strained and squinted to make out something, make out anything but all he could see was the inky blue sea that mirrored the inkyness of the night sky, rising and falling to its own rhythm, and with it the ship rolled, as if to keep in tune with the sea.

He strained to look landward, where he had plotted land would be, cause land was his heart lay. Though sea was his mistress, his heart belonged to another, and land was she would be, the owner of his heart, the purpose of his existence. Ladies may have thrown themselves for a man in uniform, at every port he visited, even some men too, but he belonged to another and he would have no other.

He missed her badly. What would he not give to have her by his side, to hold her in his arms and never let go. But he knew the sea was not where she belonged, the sea wasn’t her home, the sea wasn’t a place to raise a life together, to raise a family. She had her life to live, her career, her goals, her ambitions. It would be cruel and selfish to take that away from her, as much it would be selfish if she asked him to stay back and never sail. He was proud of her every achievements, the way she managed her life and the family, when he was not around.

He had spoken to her only a while ago, but know those few moments seemed like ages, he already missed her. Although he knew that reaching port, he would get on a plane and fly to her, but those moments seemed to go by so slowly leaving him flustered and frustrated. If he could, he would jump into the ocean and swim it all the way to her. He could swim across the oceans, climb the highest mountains, make it across the deepest valleys, just to be with her.

But he would needed to console himself by staring at the sea, hoping that time would just fly by, till she was in his arms. And so continued to stare landwards, from sea to shore.

Hello.... from the other side

As I made my way home, a cool November evening, all lost in thoughts, I felt a familiar vibration in my left pant pocket. I reached for my pocket to check on my mobile. It was an unknown number calling me. Though the ring was the same as it usually would be, there was a different feeling about it. 

“Hello”, I said, as I have said a thousand times before. “Hi my love”, said the voice on the other side. There was something eerily familiar about it, something that made me stop in my tracks. Could this be, could this really be? But then this was not possible. I longed to hear these words. I last heard them over five months ago and I knew I would never hear it again. But then here I was listening to it, how could this possibly be?

Almost a whisper, I muster the courage to mutter, “who’s this?” Almost hoping that this was a prank call. “Baba it’s me, in fact  it is all of us” said that oh so familiar voice that I yearned to hear. 

I stood there, frozen in my tracks not knowing what to say. Was this really happening? Was this even possible? “My love”, the voice continued, “we have been been watching your, we have tried to call you a thousand times but you seemed lost to us, all wrapped in your own world, all stressed, tensed and pained. We know I. Some way or another we have cause you the pain and stress. We are so sorry my love.” 

“No, no, no” I finally blurted, trying to control my emotions. “I am sorry! I know I did all that I could, but I know I could do more to reduce your pain, something that has always haunted me that I didn’t do enough for you all.”

“Rodu baba,” came another familiar voice, “you did all you could. In fact you did much more, you sacrificed so much for us. We knew this but never truly appreciated what you did for us, the way you deserved. And don’t you worry about us. We are in a better place, free from all the pain and suffering.”

“Son”, came another voice that drove dagger through pain from the pain of separation, “I know we may have not gotten a chance to say goodbye and I never got to tell you how much I love you.” “No I am sorry, “ I said desperately trying to fight back the tears and push that lump back in the throat. “The last time I saw you I was so upset with you, didn’t even want to talk to you, not knowing that would be the last time I would speak to you.” “Son, don’t be sorry! What’s done is done. We can never fore see the future not knowing what will happen next. You are my son and I am proud about the way your are, who are and what you can be. I accept you the way you are, cause the way you are is the way you were meant to be.”

“Baba we know you are lonely and often feel alone. We are aware that you struggle with your feeling and have strayed and are confused and afraid of not knowing what going to happens next. Baba don’t be afraid, embrace life and all it has to offer, don’t hold on yourself back. There’s going to be pain, but you’ve made enough of sacrifice for others to warrant some happiness for yourself. Think about yourself, don’t hide behind a mask, behind a facade of what the world want to see. Be yourself. The world can be a lonely place, but know you are never alone.”

By now is almost I tears, fighting a loosing battle  against tears, “I miss you, I miss your all. Not just today, every single day” almost sobbing. 

“Baba we know that, we can see that and we love you too. But know this, you are never alone, we are always going to be there forever with you. No matter where you go, you will take us with you, cause we will always be alive in your heart. To catch you when you fall, to pick you up when you’re down. We will be there with you in every heartbreaks and sorrows, as well as in every triumphs and happiness.  You’ll never walk alone, you never alone.”

“Baba there’s someone eager to hear you and she jumping all around just to hear your voice.” I can hear that familiar yelp and bark that I so love and miss and I long for.

“Rodu, take care of yourself as much as we know you will take care of your mum and sisters. Tell them too that we love and miss them. Love you a lot my son.” “Love you too!!!” I blurt out. Saying this the line goes dead.

I find myself standing alone in the moonlight trying to make sense of what transpired a few minutes. Did it really happened or was it just an imagination, my inner most desires to hear them once more, to hear the things they had said. I stand there shaken and trembling, tears welling up my eye cause I know now I miss them more.

But I need to heed their advice and live. So I move on and promise that myself to live for most importantly me as I will for others.

You Matter to Me: An Ode to Love

I can see my whole world in your eyes

But I really don’t want to see

Where my future lies

Right by your side is where I want to be

Cause that’s what is Home to me

You matter to me

I may not always show it to you

But know that i do

What I say true

You matter to me

I don’t know what I do

If I didn’t know you

You have been with me all the time

Through the good and the bad 

And the downright silly time

You borne with silly insecurities 

Being the support that I need

Cause you matter to me

I feel so lonely and blue

When I am not near you

You matter to me

Please believe it’s true

And I hope you feel the same way too

You stood by me through the good and the bad time

My pillar of strength, a one of a kind

Even though others would have gone insane

With me and my foolish ways

You made see the fool I’ve been

But always being there caring for me

You matter to me

Life without you

Is something I don’t want to imagine to

You matter to me

Cause I am incomplete without you

That’s not a life I want to

You knew about the pain I felt

How it broke me and left me spent

But then you lifted my spirit and gave me strength

For which I am forever indebted and grateful to you

Cause you matter to me

It’s simple and plain

But I find it difficult to explain

Cause you matter to me

I promise I do

What I say is true

Not being able to tell you every single day 

What I feel for you drives me insane

Though you may feel that it needn’t be said every time 

But it’s something I know I need to do

You matter to me

To see you Happy is my wish for you

And is what I want too

Cause you matter to me

To say those three words to you

Is all I want to do

You matter to me 

My whole life indebted to you

I am grateful to have known you

Cause you matter to me 

I mean it too

And I promise I do

Cause you matter to me