.. and Rodman is my Name-O

Hi… the name’s RODMAN 

Yes that’s my name

It’s not a nickname 

Nor is it a pseudo name

Or even a handle or a moniker 

And I am definitely no superhero 

In fact just an ordinary man 

Damn it isn’t my porn name

Though I think it would make a good one

No, no, not me

 I don’t think I have what it takes

To actually be one or even be in one

But yes that’s my name 

That’s really is my name

It’s the name on my Baptism certificate 

And yes on my municipal birth certificate 

Though it’s horribly misspelt

Like everyone else

But that’s what my name is

That’s what my parents intended to be

And I don’t think it was mistake 

Or one of those crazy celebrities name

Cause I quiet like what they named me

And if you were to ask me

What exactly does it mean

I would stare back blankly

Cause I honestly don’t know too

But then with the poker face I can muster

I would say it means that all men have rods

And that would be my honest deduction 

Of what it could mean

But if you do want to know

Then you can always Google it

Like the whole world do 

And if you do find it

Could you enlighten me too

But till then… and as always 

Rodman is my name-o

The toothache escalation

Dear toothache 

You bringer of pain

Driving us insane 

Are you mad or blind

Or just viciously unkind 

Like an unwanted guest

You come uninvited

Overstaying your welcome 

Refusing to go

Like a squatter

You illegally make your home

In our poor tooth

Making us have to

Painfully try to evict you

For a backache you apply balm

And use a hot and cold compress

For a knee pain you apply a spray

Take an inflammatory medication 

And you’re good to go again

You do the same

When a headache bothers you

But what do you do

When you have a stubborn toothache 

You can take painkillers

And apply some cloves

But when their affects wears off

It back to square one

And if that wasn’t enough

You recruit other parts

In your evil scheme

Of tormenting the life out of us

All leading to a visit to the dentist

To be seated on chair

That’s no less a torture 

Like sitting on the iron throne

The only thing different

Is the blades are your toothache

So you have the drilling

And the injecting

The x-rays and the root canals

And the bridges, implants and filling

And if gall doesn’t work

Then it means a painful extraction 

With eating ice cream 

The only positive outcome

Of a painful procedure 

So in the end you have your brains

Scrambled and numbed by pain

There’s a fire in your mouth

That burns a huge hole in your pocket

Oh toothache

You are made and blind

So cruelly unkind

Driving the poor us insane