She saw him get out of the cab, joining his friends who had already entered the pub. Could it really be him... no it couldn’t be him, she thought. What was he doing in this part of town? What was he doing here? What was he doing in this city? So many questions swimming around her head. She peered through the windows to check was it really him, ducking when one of his friend noticed her. So that’s how a gold fish in a fishbowl felt.
As she sat on the pavement she couldn’t help but go back to the time when they were young. A very strange place to reminisce, but she couldn’t help herself. As she stood up slowly, she once again glanced at him. Age had been kind to him, taken him in it’s stride. He seemed to be ageing well like fine wine. As she straightened herself, she glanced at her reflection in the window. She looked good, all thanks to the make up she wore, that made her look more younger, more prettier. Take it off and she just another plain Jane, who age had not been so kind. She felt a stab of pain in her heart, maybe that was why they called it window pane.
She remembered a time, which now felt like another lifetime altogether, when they were young, when they were friends. Growing up they had been very close to each other, almost inseparable. People would assume that they would fall in love, get married, have kids and start a family. This got her parents worried, cause though they liked him they didn’t approve of him because he came from the opposite end of the tracks, not from their social circle, not from their caste. He was good to have as a friend but not as a partner for life. She had been painfully aware of this, and even though she liked him, liked him a lot, she couldn’t bring herself to go against her parents wish. So when he finally found it in himself to propose to her, she put up an act, took offence to it and permanently friend zones him, even though inside her heart was breaking, more than the heart break he felt from her rejection.
She married into money, as her parents wanted her to, to social standards, into the same caste, into a bond that was accepted socially, besides her parents approval. She had pushed out two children from this. Her life was comfortable, her life was empty. She had given her love to someone who had no need for it, and this pained her. She felt pained that she let him go and in turn got trapped into a loveless marriage.
She finally found the courage to approach him. And when she tapped him on the shoulder, he turned to her, took a second to see her and then smiled and hugged her, bearing no animosity to her. for her rejection, holding no grudge. He held her tightly as if nothing happened, chatted with her animatedly, with excitement, as if nothing really happened. He was eager to know about her, what was she upto, complimenting her on her looks, congratulating her on her marriage, children, her life in general.
As she sat there listening to him, she just smiled, but on the inside she was breaking into a million pieces, she was hurting inside. She hated that she was growing old, and this made feel restless, made her feel reckless, especially knowing age and time had been kind to him, and cruel to her. She just wanted to close her eyes and take a picture of this moment, if this was the last time she would be seeing him. All she wanted to do was to turn back time and return to the time when they were young.
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