To Compare and Be Compare To

To compare and be compared is a way of life, something that we all go through throughout our lives, be it siblings, cousins, friends and relatives, colleagues (past and present) and classmates, something that we can’t escape, no matter how much we try. It’s an unhealthy obsession we have to face, and often indulge in too. A bit of competition is always needed, but it may take a way for the worse when it is used as yardstick to measure success in life, turning unhealthy.

No two people are the same, no two people goes through life the same way, just like not all five fingers on our hand is the same. No two people have the same abilities and capabilities and faculty, that’s what makes us different from each other, that what makes us unique, one of a kind. Then why do we compare when we are so different from each other.

Success is a relative term. Though we may measure it it in the money we make, the position we hold, the properties and possession, and family, but is it an accurate way of measuring success? What are the value of money and position and holding properties and position when you don’t feel happy? Not everyone go down the same route in life, some take the route less taken. Some may meet success and fame overnight, some may take quite a while to get there, but does this make them less successful than the latter? 

It’s easy to compare but do we ever realise the harm it causes, the effect it has on the one who is being compared. It can act as a deterrent, constantly pulling them down, affecting their confidence, pushing them over the edge, breaking them down. What’s use of comparing someone when you could loose them due to your comparison. 

We go through life trying to live upto expectations, ticking off the boxes what is expected of us, the way we need to live and what we need to do, but then this our life to live, what is the use we living it to just meet expectations when your not living your life? Have you tried to understand the reason but before making a comparison, have you tried to walk in their shoes before making your disapproval known, be it verbally or through your body language. Do you realise the damage you’re doing, you may end up loosing them just because of your obsession of comparing.

Marriage and settling down may not be the goal for everyone, stop trying to push your agenda. There could be so many reasons for this not happening, not ready for commitment, heartbreak, or marriage is not just their cup of tea, or there could be other reasons. Try to find out the reason rather than trying forcing them into it. This is one of the reason for so many broken and unhappy marriages. You may force them into marriage to meet society and family expectations, but society and family will not necessarily come to your aid when it all comes crashing down. Why buy a flat and add to burden and stress to an already stressful life.

What we got to realise is that these comparison often drives ones to depression, to break down, especially when they feel they are not meeting expectations, leading them to take steps that they can’t take back, which would mean you would loose them forever. Reach out to them, understand them, help them, support them rather then comparing them. You mean the world to them, use this to have a positive effect on them. 

Comparison is unfair and will make you feel small and unsuccessful, which definitely not the case. We’ve got to stop doing it. We are successful in our own way and will take our own time to get there, you don’t have to be be hard on yourself. And if you feel low and depressed, reach out and take the hand that’s reaching out to help you. No matter how much you may think you’re alone, there will be some one there for you, who is willing to stand with you through it all. Just take that hand, give them a chance. It could help you get out of this vicious cycle, avoid you from taking a drastic step. 

I know for sure we may never stop doing this comparing thing, but can always hope for a better tomorrow where we are more accepting and accepted rather than comparing or being compared to.