The Parental Control: An Eternal Struggle

What are parents but the giver of life, the ones responsible for our conception, our creation, for bringing us into this world, breathing life into us, our very existence. But as much as we are eternally grateful for their presence in our lives and all that they have done for us, they tend to become the bane of our existence when they refuse to relinquish control over us.

So often parents are the ones who want to be at the reign, the ones at the wheel, driving you crazy with their expectations. They have their own expectations and dreams and you are expected to toe the line, and if you don’t meet or fulfil them then you’re not going to hear the end of it. They will never let a single moment go to remind you about it, and when you decide to forge your own path and not go down the path they foresee for you, when you don’t turn out the way they want you to, or do the things they don’t approve of, you need to be strong to face what is to come. Any deviation is met with resistance.

Many conflicts are purely due to expectations, what’s expected from you and what you are meant to be, the standards you are expected to meet. This ends up be the cause for many strained relationship, many a unhappy and fractured families, all because one refused to loosen the reign, give up the driver’s seat, let someone else drive for a change.

A parent is the child’s first teacher, instilling both knowledge and discipline in them. As their child grow a parent become their guides, helping them forge their own paths, directing and nurturing them, treating them like an adult capable of taking their own decision, taking a back seat while letting them drive their own lives. We are humans and there are going to be times we will will stumble and fall, we are bound to make mistake. But it’s through our mistakes we will learn, in every fall we shall rise. It’s here we need some one to guide us, it here where we need someone to help pick ourselves up, it’s here where we need our parents the most. 

We look up to our parents for advice, for guidance, for support. As much as we want our parents to understand us, we too need to understand them, to understand where they are coming from, not blindly rebel, refuse, clash with them. Nothing good will come out from a conflict other than a strained and unhappy relationship. We need to learn to talk, to say what’s troubling us. If we want them to understand us we need to help them see our point of view, to understand who we are and what we choose to do. They would need to let go in order to let their child grow.

In the end rather we driving each other crazies with the constant struggle for control, we need to collaborate to help us grow. This would help both avoid conflicts and bitter feelings helping both to grow.