And History Repeats Itself...

It’s a different day, in a different year, but there’s that feeling of déjà vu. We thought we had put 2020 behind and were ready to start a fresh and a new and suddenly we are staring at a much scarier beast. A case of history repeating itself.

The only thing different would be that last time “Justice for Sushant” was the antidote that made us forget the virus, this time around its khumb Mela, election rallies have made forget that we are going through the second wave.

It looks like all the plate banging, clapping, conch blowing, candle lighting and flower showering only did the opposite. Maybe the virus mistook it for a welcoming party, so it it came with more force. And the same thing had an inverse effect on our leaders.

And though we make memes and jokes about the announcements, there’s an uncertain scary feeling hanging in the air. No matter how much we deny it, in our hearts we know the truth. We can blame the local, state and centre, and they in turn blame each other. But in all this Blame Game we need to acknowledge that somewhere we have dropped the ball. Somewhere we have let our guard down. Somewhere we have ourselves to blame to predicament we find ourselves.

Though the current situation, the sheer numbers, the ones affected, the young infants with IV lines and ventilators, the sheer number of people loosing their lives, the doctors, the nurses, the healthcare workers, buckling under the sheer number of cases, may move us to tears, may lead us to saying in exasperation, what kind of cruel god would do such a  thing to  their creation, what kind of God would let it’s people suffer, and no matter how much we may curse and lament at our Gods for the situation we may fin ourselves in it, in actuality it’s us who have created the situation.

We may say the virus knows no religion but somehow we have proved it’s not so. Last year we may have hounded one religious gathering as a super spreader, while we give another a free pass.

We say that the virus know no social status. Then we need to tell that to the ones who lost their jobs, lost their businesses, shut shop cause they couldn’t bear the losses they faced, the small businesses, people who have had to take pay cut, suffer bankruptcy, lost their jobs. And other end of the spectrum you have country’s billionaires getting more richer during the pandemic. Makes you wonder how did ever get wealthier when everyone, including the country’s GDP took a beating.

We may say that the virus knows no politics but then why did some states get the stick and the favourite ones get bouquet? Why was the government denying when states asked for help, and to rap them on the knuckles for being assumably careless. What we need is a united front in this battle, and not a battle between the centre and the states, a blame game. It’s not in the interest of anyone that you try to pull someone down, cause in the end the whole is weak and appears bad. And seeing the safety rules so flouted during election rallies, especially where two heads of the country are busy campaigning, makes you wonder what’s wrong with them. And how do we expect to overcome this situation, let alone win it, when the head is no where to be seen, or is firmly stuck in the sand, or busy playing a game of Simon Says and coming up with ridiculous names for vaccination drive.

Speaking of vaccination we say that everyone needs to get vaccinated but still maintain an age limit of 45 and above. We make arrogant statements “the vaccination is for those need it and not those who want it”. This seem ironical when the ones who are hit the most and have to step out are 18 and above, and the government refuses to lift the age limit, knowing that in the second children and youth are also being infected.  This no time for bruised egos and arrogance. No time for silly bhoomi pujans, melas, temples and structure. What is the need for helping other when you can’t help your own.

Finally, we have ourselves to blame. We never wanted another lockdown, but at the same time we never wanted to follow rules. We refused to wear masks, we refused to follow safety protocols. We thought that we had conquered  Carona, so wet went on holidays to the mountains and beaches, without abiding to the safety protocols. We went on workout and runs for pictures and a few hundred likes. 

What we didn’t do is question our representatives, hold them accountable for their actions. We remained a silent spectator and trolled the ones who dared to. We have a free pass to one while ridiculing the other. W safe Twitter tigers but real life scaredy cats, not tell the emperor that he wears no clothes.

Why should the doctors, the nurses the frontline worker, the health care workers, risk their lives once, when so willingly turn a blind eye. Why should they crumble under the immense and  ever growing  pressure? Why should they endanger their lives when the ones in power are not even aware of the number of them who have lost their lives. Why should they risk their lives when the ones who need to listen to them refuses to do so, and have their heads firmly in the sand. Why should they be endangered for the sins/foolishness of others. They don’t want claps and banging plates, burning Candles and the showering of petals. This only seemed to have affected those in power making then dumb, deaf and blind and also lost of smell.

In the end what we need to do is follow the simple rules which are not hard to follow and  are I place to help us only. We need to hold the one in power, accountable for their actions and not give anyone a free pass. Remember we are all in this together. We can make it out and to the other side when we work together as one. Maybe then History won’t repeat itself cause we have learned from our mistakes!!!

It’s a Sin

The Vatican said that the Catholic Church would not bless same-sex unions, in a combative statement approved by Pope Francis that threatens to widen the chasm between the church and much of the LGBTQ community.

Explaining their decision in a lengthy note on Monday, the Holy See referred to same-sex unions as a "choice," described them as sinful and said they "cannot be recognized as objectively ordered" to God's plans. "The blessing of homosexual unions cannot be considered licit," the Vatican's top doctrinal office, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, wrote in the statement. God "does not and cannot bless sin," the statement added.(source: CNN)

Does this statement come as a surprise? The answer is No! Does the statement leave you sadden and disappointed? Sadly it’s a Yes! Does this shake your Faith? That would be a NO. It would take more than a statement to shake my Faith. I follow Christ and his teaching of love and I feel that the church has somehow lost its way.

It was Christ himself who said he who hasn’t sinned should cast the first stone! So who are we to say what’s sinful and what’s not? Isn’t it the Catholic Church who tried to hide the abuse of innocent children at the hands of pedophlic priest? Isn’t robbing children of their innocence a greater sin? And wouldn’t hiding it make you an accomplice of the sin? So who is the church to say that sam-sex marriage is a sin?

In the past the stance and words of Pope Francis made me proud to be a part of a Faith that was adapting and keeping in step with time, becoming more inclusive and accepting. This statement actually pushed us back several steps, effectively nullifying the progress that had been made.

Agreed that marriage is a sacred union between two people which needs to be honoured, but you need to enter into this union for the right reasons, which sadly isn’t the case right now. Many-a-times couples enter into this union not of their own free will thus effectively diluting the sanctity of marriage. So what good comes from the church granting its blessings to such marriage?

Sadly the statement comes as a setback to those hoping to find a bit of normality in a cruel world, those who try to balance their Faith with their Orientation, who have been marginalised and ostracised for who they choose to be, who they choose to love. Often picked on and bullied, preyed on and forced into submission to hide their true self and live a life of pain and torment. For these souls this statement comes like a dagger to the heart, effectively handing their tormentors more arsenal to torment them with. Where’s the sin in this?

But through this all there’s no backing down. A setback will only affect if you fail to get up and get back on your feet and back on track. Though words may cut deeper than a knife, they can try and break the body but they will  never be able to take away the spirit. There’s no giving up the fight. Though everyone has a right to their point of view but so do others have the right to chose the way and how they want to live their life.

So there’s no backing down, there’s no losing faith. Cause irrespective what people have to say, if in your heart you know you are staying true to yourself and harming no one, then no words can bring you down. Always remember, when you point a finger unto others, three fingers are pointing back at you.

(Backup) YOU

It’s something we all need to do

But it’s the one thing 

We find the toughest to do

We struggle with it

We doing ourselves about it

We find it difficult to do

To accept ourselves for who we are

The way we are

We crib and cry about our imperfections

Never truly realising 

That these are our perfections

Cause we are perfectly imperfect 

We may be broken

We may be bruised 

But that’s what makes it uniquely you

So be who you are 

Who you are meant to be

There’s no need to be afraid 

There’s no need to hide

Cause one can tell you can’t

So be unabashedly you

Be a rainbow 

Be a unicorn

Be uniquely you

Don’t shy away from your sensuality 

Don’t be afraid to express your sexuality 

Learn to enjoy them both

Learn to own them 

Just as you would of your body

Irrespective of its type

Be proud of who you

Cause the greatest love 

Is learning to love yourself 

And if you can’t love yourself 

How can you love anyone else!

Educate Yourself... before you take a stand

We are living in a very strange time. Suddenly we find ourselves divided on lines of our religion, by the ones who created and fueled by the ones who ones who want to make the most of it. So we end up being pawns in a political game of throne (if I can dare call it that) of one trying to pull down the other. But at what cost? At the cost of us, at a cost of creating a fission, a wedge, a deep cut,  all for their vote bank politics.

It’s easy to dismiss all the protests and oppositions, as frivolous and opportunistic and immature, anti-nationalists. But before we label them, or pass judgement about them, understand the reason for these protests before drawing a conclusion. We all have a right to voice our opinion, to say what need to say, to be heard. So when you do speak up make sure the conclusion that you make is an informed one. Understand the crux of the matter before you decide to pick your side, you have every right to do that. Don’t be influenced by the opinions of other, what others have to say. Be open to hearing them out but in the end the decision is yours to take, and no one can take that way. 

But then there are other questions to be asked, not just that of the citizenship. There’s the economy too that’s needs to be revived and promises relating to it that need to be kept. Questions about things that have immediate effect on us. We have every right to question those elected to power (though the events of the past month has made a mockery of the democratic exercise), to hold them accountable of the happenings in the country and its economy. Don’t let distractions sway you. Questioning is your right and that doesn’t make you anti-national.

So in the end before you pick your side, educate yourself before you take stand. You can be for or you can be against, that doesn’t change who you are or make you more or less patriotic. Try not to be swayed by the political games, the one up-man-ship. It’s easy to label and name call, whatever opinions you may form base it on rather than on rumours, whatsapp messages and all things baseless. Educate yourself before you take a stand.

The Parental Control: An Eternal Struggle

What are parents but the giver of life, the ones responsible for our conception, our creation, for bringing us into this world, breathing life into us, our very existence. But as much as we are eternally grateful for their presence in our lives and all that they have done for us, they tend to become the bane of our existence when they refuse to relinquish control over us.

So often parents are the ones who want to be at the reign, the ones at the wheel, driving you crazy with their expectations. They have their own expectations and dreams and you are expected to toe the line, and if you don’t meet or fulfil them then you’re not going to hear the end of it. They will never let a single moment go to remind you about it, and when you decide to forge your own path and not go down the path they foresee for you, when you don’t turn out the way they want you to, or do the things they don’t approve of, you need to be strong to face what is to come. Any deviation is met with resistance.

Many conflicts are purely due to expectations, what’s expected from you and what you are meant to be, the standards you are expected to meet. This ends up be the cause for many strained relationship, many a unhappy and fractured families, all because one refused to loosen the reign, give up the driver’s seat, let someone else drive for a change.

A parent is the child’s first teacher, instilling both knowledge and discipline in them. As their child grow a parent become their guides, helping them forge their own paths, directing and nurturing them, treating them like an adult capable of taking their own decision, taking a back seat while letting them drive their own lives. We are humans and there are going to be times we will will stumble and fall, we are bound to make mistake. But it’s through our mistakes we will learn, in every fall we shall rise. It’s here we need some one to guide us, it here where we need someone to help pick ourselves up, it’s here where we need our parents the most. 

We look up to our parents for advice, for guidance, for support. As much as we want our parents to understand us, we too need to understand them, to understand where they are coming from, not blindly rebel, refuse, clash with them. Nothing good will come out from a conflict other than a strained and unhappy relationship. We need to learn to talk, to say what’s troubling us. If we want them to understand us we need to help them see our point of view, to understand who we are and what we choose to do. They would need to let go in order to let their child grow.

In the end rather we driving each other crazies with the constant struggle for control, we need to collaborate to help us grow. This would help both avoid conflicts and bitter feelings helping both to grow.

Violence Justified???

Violence is never the answer, and shouldn’t be part of the solution. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth will leave the world toothless and blind, and no one would want to live in a world that’s gone blind, it would be difficult to live in a world gone blind.

Violence should never be encouraged, never be tolerated, should never go unabated. We have no right to cause harm to something that’s not ours, and even if it ours. Violence is never justified, can never be justified. If you have been wronged, take the right course of action, not let your emotions get the better of you.

The past couple of years it’s sad to see the increasing number of attacks on medical practitioners, and the lack of protection given to them from distraught relatives, who go on a violent rampage. Vandalism and violence are not justified expressions of grief, they show a descent into barbarism, takes a million steps backward. Won’t say you’re reverting back to being animals as animals only attack when they are threatened, and here you are the ones who is doing the threatening. 

If you think you are wronged raise the issue through the right channels, lodge complaint. Harming someone, damaging property (that’s not yours in the first place), will not bring back what you’ve lost, will not help those to come, in fact it would do more harm. Your actions should help prevent future negligence, help someone not to go through what you’ve been through, and not harm someone grievously. It’s sad to see this happening, and the state and country not providing much safety and protection. Shows the country and state in a bad light, speaks of a sad state of affairs and apathy towards medical practitioners, especially those working in government facilities.

That said, is a strike justifiable. Wouldn’t a strike go against the oath you took. You have the right to be agitated, the right to be ask for protection, but strike would mean you’re not providing care for those who need it, in a way putting you in the grey. You can’t turn away the ones you’ve sworn to care for, because you’ve been harmed. Pick yourself, dust yourself off, fight for your right but at the same time do what’s right.

I really hope good sense prevails, lives saved, security provided, we turn back to being human, instead of being barbarian, order restored, cause we seemed to be going back into stone age (and I think stone men would behave better).

The Rhetoric Question Exasperation

There are Questions, and then there are QUESTIONS, the ones you wished to avoid, the ones you wish you would never hear, but the ones your are most likely to be asked, no matter how hard you try. Questions that serve no purpose, other than fodder for gossip, ammunition to get those tongues wagging, opportunity to throw shade. More often than not they have an answer in themselves. They are often made to sound like a matter or life and death, a matter that the nation wants to know (well not quite the nation but some idle, gossipy aunties do want to know), people that are always curious for an answer, but didn’t they hear that curiosity killed the cat, not that I want them killed (a stray thought does find itself rising to the conscious of an irritated mind), but hey they just want to be shady queens.

So you have the bane of every person who happens to find themselves single, an easy target for these questions. Sometimes you wonder if it’s their life’s mission to get everyone married off. Is it envy or is it shade (more likely the later) that make them ask it again and again, till they pummel a poor soul into submission, after all why should married people suffer alone.

So every time someone asks me “So when are you getting married?” or “Why aren’t you getting married?” makes me want to quip “that’s because you are not doing a good job in trying to find a suitable spouse/ partner for me” (God forbid if they actually start looking for you), “So when are you giving us good news,” makes me itch to retort “I am not pregnant, I’ll give good news when men start giving birth.” Procreation is not my sole purpose in life, and I have no intention of sowing my oats.

Sometimes I wonder if they can ever take a hint. I am nearing 40s (shudder) and not unmarried, which could only mean that I either don’t believe in the union of holy matrimony or marriage isn’t meant for me, isn’t my cup of tea. So I wished they just take the hint and let me be and not get jealous of my bachelorhood, after all getting hitched ain’t everything.

And then there’s question of weight, a very touchy subject for us men too (or I could say for me). So the question “have you put on weight?” lends itself to the answer, the question itself is the answer. If I look like I have put on weight, no amount of denying can take away this fact, but we  still try and deny it. So if seeing is believing, and what you see is I am carrying some extra weight, being fat lazy bum, then you needn’t doubt your eyes, or try to rub it in, unless you wish to change the way you view the world.

These questions seem to follow us everywhere, refusing to let go of us, refusing to leave our side. Everywhere we go the curiosity keeps peaking up by our very presence, refusing to settle down. In fact these questions have one thing in common with marriage, they’ll never leave our side, no matter what, in fact they will remain with us till death do us apart.

Who Benefits Anyways???

Another week, another set of lives lost, life nipped at the bud, leading people to take to the street, sloganising (ok I made that word up), burning effigies, trying to shutter shops in protest (trying to capture their actions on their mobile phone, or are they doing a Facebook live), creating a general sense of uneasiness, conducting candle light marches, political parties trying to make the most of the situation that presents it smelt, adding weapons in their arsenal to attack each other, to earn brownie points, engaging in mud slinging instead providing a united front, creating makeshift memorials, hanging shradanjali posters, whether they mean it is another question altogether. And then you have runs organised for the victims (on cue).

But how does these actions benefit the ones who happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, the victim of someone’s delusional sense of self-righteousness, delusional ideologies, religion and concept of heaven. How would all these postering and sloganing benefit them. The only fire that their families would burn would be that of funeral pyres, the only things they would bury would be their loved ones. Give sometime and these attacks would find themselves as yet another page in the sordid history, all but forgotten, buried in the numerous chapters of war mongering, except by those who suffered great loss.

How would shutting shops (let’s face it, this ain’t done voluntarily but more out of fear), and calling for bandhs help them? In fact you end up causing loss, you’re creating a tense climate. Instead it would be better notion of donating a days earning to them.

What we would need to do is to hold responsible the elected members, the ones who claim to represent people. Hold them accountable for the failure to act upon intelligence reports (and online chatter). It’s time we perform our civic duty judiciously, not leaving it in the hands of the ones who can be bought, ensuring that the uncorruptable are elected and are not corrupted, seduced by power. Making a well thought and analysed choice. The ones who would take a stand against lawless neighbours who refuses to see their decent into anarchy, hiding the delusional like a mother would hide her child from corrective actions, from bullies, both National and international, who in their own way try to turn a blind eye.

Once we become a stronger nation no more would a parent have to say goodbye to their child, no spouse would have to mourn the loss of their loved one, no child would have to loose their parent. We need to rise and bring about a change in ourselves first before we begin thinking on a national level, right the wrongs we do, otherwise no one will benefit, and the nation and the world would descend into a toothless and blind world.

Till it happens to you: MeToo no more

The MeToo movement has been around for over a year now, but only recently it has found its way to Indian shores. Suddenly you have women (as of now) who have found their voice to speak up and talk about the harassment they face, they had faced, they continue to face. It may have occurred today, or yesterday, or ages ago, but they have suddenly found a voice, courage to speak their truth, to stand up and no longer remain silent.

But with every movement, there will be brickbats with the bouquets, the naysayers, the doubters, along with the supporters, the critics along with the advocates. We all have a right to our opinions, the way we perceive things and situation, but let not that perception come in the way of your humanity. And yes you will also have those who would want to make the most from this situation.

It may sound corny, and can be taken as just another hashtag, but make no mistake MeToo is a movement. The jokes, the memes were always going to be there, but some are downright distasteful and mean and demeaning.

There have been write ups and forwards and open-Ed’s dismissing these as sob stories, fame seekers, questioning why the victim took so long to tell it, why were they weak not to retaliate or complain? Well these are sob stories, maybe they are not. There are few who maybe attention seekers, but only a few of them are. While one may question why they took so long, we’ve would not know what went through their mind. 

We may argue that they should have complained to someone or told someone about it, this is not the way a strong woman or man should behave. But then the fear, the shock, the moment of shame, the fear of not being believed, the fear of name calling, all are the root cause of silencing them. There are instances of both men and and women who suffered abuse at the hands of close relatives, family friends, neighbours, people they trusted, who choose to remain silent about their abuse, let it eat them from within, change the course of their lives, shatter them, but always afraid to speak their truth. 

You may say strong women would have stood up to their oppressors, given back, slapped them, but is there really a decorum on how one should behave in such situations, isn’t it a kin to telling your son that boys don’t cry? Even the strongest of people have their weak moments, even the strong of people may feel stunned, numbed, May choose to bury it in the recesses of their mind, hoping it all may just be a nightmare which can wake of from. 

They may not retaliate, but that doesn’t mean their not strong. It takes just one push, one person to stand up, to start a domino effect, to have a ripple effect, to give them strength to stand up. So don’t put them down, don’t mock them (like some leaders of the free wold have), don’t be trumpian in your behaviour. They aren’t asking you for your sympathy or your tear, they just want to speak their truth and let it set them free from the vicious pain that envelops them. 

You have your right to your doubt, you have your right to your opinion, you have the right to come to your conclusion, but let that conclusion not be drawn from a mob mentality, from a narrow perception, from a witch hunt. Try make an informed unbiased conclusion. Remember, you’ll never know how it feels, till it happens to you, you’ll never know how you will react, till you find yourself in the same situation. Right now you can only say they way you think you’ll behave, but the words and actions are two different things. 

So don’t dismiss these stories, they may not be seeking your support, or your attention, they just want to be heard, just want the truth to set them free. They just want to live in a world where no person, man, woman or child, would need to stand up and say, MeToo.