Of Food and Company and a Trip Down Memory Lane

Walking down Mohammad Ali Road brought back so many memories, happy memories, of being there with friends, being there as a child, being there with your family, savouring those mouthwatering meals, whether it was Ramzan or not.

So you don’t mind that the streets are crowded, there’s traffic jams and vehicles all around who are going honk crazy, or that city is sweltering under the heat (and to think of it, summer hasn’t set in yet and it’s just pre-summer). You’re all excited and looking forward to having a wonderful evening in the company of your friends and enjoying some amazing food, and you get to to include your mum in it all (after all I am such a mumma’s boy). Moreover you get to relive so many memories, childhood memories.

What you are mindful is that you are late. Your friends have moved on to the starters and there’s no scope of getting a cab, so you have to make your mum walk for well over 1.6  kms (as indicated by Google maps) while dodging both people and  vehicles of the two-wheel kind. You sure can’t make your mum walk fast and she doesn’t want to consume water (which is important considering the weather  cause she doesn’t want to go or even use the washroom. So you are left with a slow progress, which you have to be ok with. 

Did I mention you also have to be mindful of your belonging on those crowded streets. And you have the announcer reminding you do so .

So by the time you are near the intended destination, or trying to find the intended location, your friends are almost done with the starters, so you are left with booking a table for good 17 people for the main course, and patiently waiting for them to arrive, while you get your mum a seat cause your sure she’s tired from all the walking (making up for her missed evening walks).

As you wait for a table (it’s not easy to get a table for 17) you see others too waiting for a table, and many enjoying their meals (oblivious to the heat and merciless honking outside). What you do notice that the number of non-Muslims outnumber actual Muslims. Friends and coworkers and families, out to enjoy a wonderful meal, the delicacies that the Ramzan season brings, serving a further testament that when not divided by politics and politicians and political parties and their ideologies (for their own selfish motives), people from different religions, different cultures, different walks of life, different social status, all come together in celebration, weaving a beautiful tapestry of harmony. And this is not just here, but in most festivals that the city celebrates. Just goes to show that we are willing and very able to live in harmony with each other when we are left to ourselves, without the interference with those with evil ways.

Anyway, we get our table  and place our orders, listening to the recommendations as we decide what we have to eat.  

And trust me the food  is delicious. All the Kormas, the Bottis, the Niharis, Biryani, Paya soup (got to mention this for my mumma) are so delicious and flavourful in every morsel, but  there’s that one ingredient that that ties it all together and that is the company you share this meal with. 

So whether it’s your family, your friends, your coworkers, your colleagues, your peers, your significant other, or even a total stranger, all make the meal even more meaningful and beautiful.

So over giggle and laughters and good natured ribbing, over conversations on the weirdest of topics, and taking photos ( how is that possible with me around and there being no pics), you are bonding with your fellow diners, the ones partaking these meals with you. And over these conversations, and wolfing down some delicious food, you are getting to know them better, their backgrounds, their cultures, their food, everything beyond running, even over peels of laughters and discussions of what race next, and clicking and posing for the millionth pic (how’s that even possible with so many runners and with yours truly).

In these moments, beyond the setting we usually see each other, you are cementing the bonds you’ve created, and making some beautiful and delightful memories that you’re going to cherish.

Now how is it even possible that you make a trip to Mohammad Ali Road and not treat yourself to some delightful dessert? In those moments your diet, your calorie count, what your trainer says, all goes out of the window. If you truly want to enjoy these delicious delicacies you need shut all these from your mind.

So once the plates are cleared and the bill is paid, you make your way down and into the street, one with the crowd and into the needless honking. Only this time you are not making your in the direction you would normally go to. But instead you’re going some place where you have never been to before. 

Once again it’s a slow walk, cause you can’t hurry your mum. So you walk slowly, trying not to loose your friends, wondering when would this place actually come. And the place was surely worth the walk.

The sight of a beautifully round Malpua deep frying in that kadai, can send any diet conscious person and their dietitian and trainer into a tizzy (I told you, they need to be left back at home and away from the mind), but for people like me, it’s a sight, an amazement, a delight, one that gets you all salivating. It’s not an indulgence, it’s not cheating, it’s called eating without guilt, enjoying the cuisine, giving your senses and your taste buds a feast, a treat, one they deserve, and you deserve. 

You’ve got to appreciate these beautiful delicacies cause they are what’s binding us together.

So you greedily wolf down phirnis, a biscuit with delicious mawa in the centre and the unmissable and piping hot Malpua with delicious rabri. You truly are in food in heaven. And when you had your fill of these delicacies, you wash it down with some nice cool falsa soda, the perfect coolant for a warm summer evening(not sure if it is paired with all that you have wolfed down, but that doesn’t matter, as long as it doesn’t upset your system), and considering the heat, and the awesomeness of the drink, one glass just won’t do.

And with that last glass of falsa, it’s time to head home, as it’s school night, make that a work night. You don’t quite look forward to walk back to the station. Your full but content belly doesn’t quite do you any favour. Also you don’t want to make your mum walk through the crowd again. So you book cab, bid farewell to your running buddies, and patiently wait for your ride to arrive, as it makes it way through those crowded street.

And with its arrival, it marks an end to a wonderful gastronomical evening of amazing food, awesome company, and amazingly crazy conversations, leaving all your senses completely satisfied, and your mum too had a good time, what else could you ask for.

Of Sanskars and Religion

Someone once said, “Change is the only constant in life.” If you want to survive, you’ve got learn to change with time, or be left behind forever. And then there are some who just refuse to change, who don’t want to change, and don’t want others to change too. 

They believe that change hurts them and is against their beliefs, their religions, their sansakars. This actually makes you wonder which century are these people from? Have they been watching one too many saas-babu serials? What have they been smoking, which would again be against their sanskars, but you never know! But then they have their own motives for doing so.

As humans we are constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly growing. As part of this evolution, this change, this growth, is the way we see ourselves, the way we perceive ourselves, the way we identify ourselves. Along with it so has our values and culture which have to change, evolve or risk becoming outdated and irrelevant. Even the concepts of family and marriage has changed, from joint families to a nuclear family, from marriage within your caste and religion to inter-caste, inter-faith marriages, to marriage between nationalities. So why shouldn’t the union partners of the same-sex not be accepted and recognised.

But that said we cannot and should not forget our values and culture. We just need it to evolve with time and stay relevant and inclusive. And with we should evolve too.

But then there are those who don’t want this change. Maybe they want to stay relevant? Maybe they don’t want to loose the grip or the control that they have? Maybe they have their own selfish motives to keep their powers? They may say that they are upholding their sansakars, defending their religion, but what they exactly are defending religion from, when there’s no one attacking their religion and religious beliefs and their sanskars. In fact what they are doing, and I do hope they realise that is they are causing more damage to not only their religion but also to humanity. 

They are doing their bit in destroying the very fabric of life. They are comfortable in welding their sanskars and religion to spread hate, and divide and pit one community with another (and here we blamed the Britishers for doing this but more than happy to use it for our own selfish power and political games).

They are more of a danger to their sanskars, their religion, to humanity as whole. Their hate and fear mongering, could be a sole reason why so many are turning away from religion, value and God. It could easily be the reason why we are a nation divided and persecuted, no matter how much we may want to deny this. It is the reason why so many feel ostracised, outcast, unloved , uncared, anxious and depress. It is the reason why so many are scared and destroyed.

No one wakes up in the middle night, or wakes up one day and decides to be gay. No one on a whim decide they are not comfortable in their own skin, they do not relate to the gender they have been assigned at birth. It’s not something unnatural or against nature, as we are led to believe. It’s something that’s always been there. Something that comes to surface slow and steadily. We don’t choose who we feel attracted to or who we fall for, it something that’s always going to be there and comes naturally. It’s been suppressed for fear of acceptance, of ostracism, living in a state of constant denial.

If we believe that GOD is LOVE and the one who lives in Love, lives in God and God lives in them, then how is this form of love any different from other form of love, apart of the fact that you love the person of the same gender. This feeling is that of love and not lust, so why should this love be treated differently, why should this love not be accepted, why should this love not be recognised, why should this love be denied equal rights.

Being gay isn’t one big drug-filled, hedonistic, sexual  orgy. Being gay is more than being flamboyant, being effimate, being sexual. Damn it more than than wanting to hit on anything walking on two legs with the same parts. Trust me you don’t need to be gay for that, as many female can attest for it.

When someone asks for the right for their union to be recognised, the right to be recognised and accepted, they not  trying make mockery of the institution, or trying to disrespect any religion or religious tradition. It is out of want of acceptance and respect for religion and religious custom do they want their union to be recognised, to be accepted for who they are and who they choose to love.In fact they are way more respectful than any heterosexual couple. What they want is not to be forced into marriage of convenience, into something what is acceptable to society which will end up destroying so many lives.

The ones who find their sansakar being hurt are in fact the ones doing the most damage  with their outdated the thinking, their refusal to accept change .

Being gay is not a mental illness. In fact there’s no evidence that members of the community cannot enjoy civil rights like marriage, adoption, etc. On the contrary discrimination may lead to mental health issues (as stated by the Indian Psychiatric Society).

So if we believe in equal right to all, then why do the members of the community not be afforded this equal right that we speak about in the constitution. Why do we discriminate and persecute and suppress to those who do no conform to society’s rules on love and gender?

The question we beg to ask is when would we be able live as equals, in harmony and peace irrespective of religion, gender, age, orientation? 

Though at the moment it maybe a distant dream, it’s a dream nonetheless, one that can be achieved if we keep persevering and not be defeated or brought down, cause in the end…

हम होंगे कामयाब एक दिन
हो हो मन में है विश्वास, पूरा है विश्वास
हम होंगे कामयाब एक दिन