Of Sanskars and Religion

Someone once said, “Change is the only constant in life.” If you want to survive, you’ve got learn to change with time, or be left behind forever. And then there are some who just refuse to change, who don’t want to change, and don’t want others to change too. 

They believe that change hurts them and is against their beliefs, their religions, their sansakars. This actually makes you wonder which century are these people from? Have they been watching one too many saas-babu serials? What have they been smoking, which would again be against their sanskars, but you never know! But then they have their own motives for doing so.

As humans we are constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly growing. As part of this evolution, this change, this growth, is the way we see ourselves, the way we perceive ourselves, the way we identify ourselves. Along with it so has our values and culture which have to change, evolve or risk becoming outdated and irrelevant. Even the concepts of family and marriage has changed, from joint families to a nuclear family, from marriage within your caste and religion to inter-caste, inter-faith marriages, to marriage between nationalities. So why shouldn’t the union partners of the same-sex not be accepted and recognised.

But that said we cannot and should not forget our values and culture. We just need it to evolve with time and stay relevant and inclusive. And with we should evolve too.

But then there are those who don’t want this change. Maybe they want to stay relevant? Maybe they don’t want to loose the grip or the control that they have? Maybe they have their own selfish motives to keep their powers? They may say that they are upholding their sansakars, defending their religion, but what they exactly are defending religion from, when there’s no one attacking their religion and religious beliefs and their sanskars. In fact what they are doing, and I do hope they realise that is they are causing more damage to not only their religion but also to humanity. 

They are doing their bit in destroying the very fabric of life. They are comfortable in welding their sanskars and religion to spread hate, and divide and pit one community with another (and here we blamed the Britishers for doing this but more than happy to use it for our own selfish power and political games).

They are more of a danger to their sanskars, their religion, to humanity as whole. Their hate and fear mongering, could be a sole reason why so many are turning away from religion, value and God. It could easily be the reason why we are a nation divided and persecuted, no matter how much we may want to deny this. It is the reason why so many feel ostracised, outcast, unloved , uncared, anxious and depress. It is the reason why so many are scared and destroyed.

No one wakes up in the middle night, or wakes up one day and decides to be gay. No one on a whim decide they are not comfortable in their own skin, they do not relate to the gender they have been assigned at birth. It’s not something unnatural or against nature, as we are led to believe. It’s something that’s always been there. Something that comes to surface slow and steadily. We don’t choose who we feel attracted to or who we fall for, it something that’s always going to be there and comes naturally. It’s been suppressed for fear of acceptance, of ostracism, living in a state of constant denial.

If we believe that GOD is LOVE and the one who lives in Love, lives in God and God lives in them, then how is this form of love any different from other form of love, apart of the fact that you love the person of the same gender. This feeling is that of love and not lust, so why should this love be treated differently, why should this love not be accepted, why should this love not be recognised, why should this love be denied equal rights.

Being gay isn’t one big drug-filled, hedonistic, sexual  orgy. Being gay is more than being flamboyant, being effimate, being sexual. Damn it more than than wanting to hit on anything walking on two legs with the same parts. Trust me you don’t need to be gay for that, as many female can attest for it.

When someone asks for the right for their union to be recognised, the right to be recognised and accepted, they not  trying make mockery of the institution, or trying to disrespect any religion or religious tradition. It is out of want of acceptance and respect for religion and religious custom do they want their union to be recognised, to be accepted for who they are and who they choose to love.In fact they are way more respectful than any heterosexual couple. What they want is not to be forced into marriage of convenience, into something what is acceptable to society which will end up destroying so many lives.

The ones who find their sansakar being hurt are in fact the ones doing the most damage  with their outdated the thinking, their refusal to accept change .

Being gay is not a mental illness. In fact there’s no evidence that members of the community cannot enjoy civil rights like marriage, adoption, etc. On the contrary discrimination may lead to mental health issues (as stated by the Indian Psychiatric Society).

So if we believe in equal right to all, then why do the members of the community not be afforded this equal right that we speak about in the constitution. Why do we discriminate and persecute and suppress to those who do no conform to society’s rules on love and gender?

The question we beg to ask is when would we be able live as equals, in harmony and peace irrespective of religion, gender, age, orientation? 

Though at the moment it maybe a distant dream, it’s a dream nonetheless, one that can be achieved if we keep persevering and not be defeated or brought down, cause in the end…

हम होंगे कामयाब एक दिन
हो हो मन में है विश्वास, पूरा है विश्वास
हम होंगे कामयाब एक दिन