Here’s to us!

Though he tried to get back to the life he once knew, somehow he couldn’t get her off  his mind, and this was not something he wanted to do. He wanted to call her, to talk her, to hear her voice, still hoping to convince her. But his ego was hurt, and that kept him from calling her. 

He got so involved in his work that he didn’t quite get much time to do anything, and his work kept him busy most of the time. Finally when he got the time to call her, her number was not reachable. He was aware that the network connection on the island was quite bad. But then when he tried her again, after a couple of days, his call went directly to voice mail. Now he was worried about her. When he finally got the time to take a few days off, he returned back to the island. But she was not there. She had left her job at the cafe and no one knew where she had gone.

This made him furious, how could she do something like this to him, how could she be so cruel towards him. He wanted to scream and shout. But he refrained from doing any such thing, his old life was returning back to him and he was loosing all the spontaneity that he had discovered when he was around her.

He returned back to his life, pained, hurt and disappointed. He spend the next few days, next few weeks trying to locate her, even taking the help of professionals, but to no avail. It was like she vanished into thin air. He hadn’t asked about her past, so he knew little to none about it. He cursed himself for not knowing more about her.

Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, months to years. He got totally involved in his work, totally consumed in it, totally immersed in it. But every now and then he made the effort of trying to locate her. He tried to date, but no one matched to her, no one made him feel the way she made him feel. She was his standard of love. But most importantly his heart refused to let go of her, to let him forget her. So he was not able to bond with anyone. 

Then after almost over two decades, since he left the island, since he last saw her in person, he found a postcard lying on his desk. There was something vaguely familiar about it, he couldn’t put a finger on what it reminded him of. The handwriting seemed oddly familiar but one he hadn’t seen before. It was an invitation to visit the island. And then it struck where he had seen the picture before. This was the picture of their favourite place on their island, where there spent countless hours lazying away, making love. As he stared at the postcard he could hear his heart beat against his chest . Had she finally relented, and come to her senses. The writing didn’t quite look like that of hers, but when people change over the years, wouldn’t their handwriting do the same. 

He couldn’t contain his happiness, his excitement. He took days off, well that was not needed when you were running your own division. He quickly got a flight and a ferry to the island. When he finally stepped on the small dock of the island, he noted that even though things had changed, there was still something familiar about the island. He was so excited to see her after all this while.

When he arrived at the cafe he was greeted by this beautiful, striking girl, who must have been in her late teens or early twenties. She was dressed in loose flowing trousers and blouse. Although she seemed quite young there was something confident and sure about her. He continued to stare at her, as there was something vaguely familiar about her. She greeted him with a warm smile and then it struck him that staring at her eyes was like his eyes staring back at him. And then what she said took him by surprise.

She introduced herself as Mia, her daughter, his daughter. And then he recognised the striking resemblance of her in Mia, her features, her spirit, mixed with that of his. He couldn’t contain his happiness, he couldn’t contain his joy. He had a beautiful daughter. And then he felt this burning rage towards her. How could she be so cruel, how could she keep something so big from him. How could she deny a child the love of her father, how could she robe a man from the joy of fatherhood. He was furious. He wanted to see her immediately. Mia asked him if he would like to have anything, but all wanted to do was to confront her. So she took him to the place where they had lived previously. And when they reached there, she handed him an envelope and left him, as she had some errands to run but promised to meet him at the cafe.

He didn’t want to read the letter but still he sat down and opened it. As he read it tears welled up in his eyes. It was from her. It said that if he was reading this meant she had long since gone, passed over to the other side. In it she asked his forgiveness, but explained why she did what she did. A few days after he left, she discovered she was pregnant with Mia. And although she was tempted to call him to give him the good news, she restrained herself from doing this, cause once again she didn’t want him to do something for her, she didn’t want to be the reason for him giving up on his dreams. So she decided to bring up Mia on her own, but never lying to Mia about her father. But on hindsight, what she felt like she was sacrificing, was actually a very selfish act. She denied Mia of knowing father, a father’s love, she robbed him the joy and experience of fatherhood. For which she was terribly sorry, something that ate her from within. She went on state that Mia shared her father’s acumen for business and her mother’s spirit for adventure. Now she had gone she hoped he would care for her.

He read the letter a couple of time, and each time he read it he missed her even more. When Mia returned, he hugged her tightly, not wanting to let her go. And as he held on to her, tears streamed down his eyes. He looked her in the eyes, kissed on her forehead. He promised to make up for the years they had lost, the years they were not together. He had found her and there no way he was he letting go.  And they stood there holding on to each other with tears streaming down their eyes.

Few months after he had discovered that he had a beautiful daughter, he was sitting with his daughter in a beautiful cafe, one he knew her mother would love. She got admission to the best college, but every now and then they took father-daughter trips, spending as much time as they could with each other, making memories. And as they ate at the cafe, they tasted each other, the adventures they had and will have, cause life’s short and the world was large and they wanted to make as much memories as possible. So here’s to us!

All Good Things Come to an End

This was not the life he planned for himself, not the one he had envisioned for himself. This was hardly something he would do. But yet here he was. Never in a million years he would have envisioned himself in the situation he found himself in. 

He would have never met someone like her. Never in his life he had met anyone like her, and he knew he would never meet anyone quite like her. She was just someone else. She wasn’t someone he thought he  would feel drawn to, but still here he was. She had turned his whole world upside down, and yet he felt drawn to her. Like a moth drawn to the flame, and he couldn’t resist. This life was not part of his plan, but still here he was, living it, and it felt surreal.

He was over qualified to be a bartender, but still he had no knowledge or experience bar tending, unless you count mixing drinks in college bar tending. Even with all this, here he was, behind the bar, learning about things he sometimes wished he didn’t know. But it gave him an opportunity to earn a living, and you couldn’t live on love and fresh air alone.

His days were filled with love. He moved in with her, giving himself the opportunity of  spending more time together. When they were not working, they were exploring the city, and when they weren’t  exploring they were making love.

Life wasn’t perfect but it was wonderful. It surprised him at every turn, showing him how he was able to adapt to a situation he was never been in before, he had no clue about, but still was living it. But somehow he felt a yearning for the life he had left behind, for the sense of order, the sense of security he was used to. And somehow he let it show (though never intentionally,  when he spoke with her), though he tried to conceal it. Then one day he got a call from his old life  with an offer he couldn’t resist. But still he had to refuse it cause he was sure she wouldn’t give in. Still they were keen to get him onboard though he clearly told them that he wasn’t interested (which was a lie).

When he shared this with her, he was surprised that she told him that he should take him, cause that was something he wanted. She insisted he should take it. He was happy to hear this, but this was short lived cause no way she was getting off the island. In which case he was no mood of accepting the offer, though he wished she would relent.

They argued on this point, but still she was not willing to relent from her position though insisting he take the offer, arguing that this life was not his life, this was the life she wanted, he was adjusting just for her. Expecting to give up on his dreams would be selfish of her.

There was no winning an argument against her. He finally, relented and have in. He accepted the offer, and started to pack his bags and return to the life he had once lived. He could see the pain in her eyes as he packed, no matter how much she tried to mask it, no matter how much she tried to avoid him. As he boarded the ferry that would take him back to the main land, back to his old life, he still hoped she would change her mind and join him. Alas, no such thing happened, not even to the very last moment.

As the ferry left the dock, he kept staring at her till she was a mere speck in the horizon. Though this wasn’t the life he planned for, this was not the way he wanted to close the chapter of his life. So he stared in the direction of the island, in her direction. A tear welled up in his eyes, glistening in the evening sun as it made it way down his cheeks. Why did all good things have to come to an end!

The Sea Within

He stared at the vast sea that lay before him. The vast greyness, a reflection of the grey monsoon skies above. The roughness of the sea seemed to mirror the storms that raged in his head.

As he walked towards the sea he could feel the cold breeze on his face. He could taste the saltiness of the sea on his lips. As he looked ahead, at the distant horizon, he couldn’t tell where the sky ended and the sea began. It felt liked the two merged together. The gloomy, moodiness of the weather reflected the gloominess he felt inside.

The past few months had taken a toll on him, had taken a toll on his mind, had shaken his core. It felt like nature, ever so coolly but so cruelly, snapped its finger and almost half of the world (ok that seemed little too far fetched) got obliterated into thin air, like a superhero movie. Leaving in it’s path death and destruction and a broken heart.

He couldn’t shake of this fear, this feeling of anxiety, of an unseen enemy creeping up on him and taking over his very being. He tried hard to grapple with the constant news of death, people loosing their lively hood, people being afraid of getting infected (he was one of them), trying to cope with what seemed to be a new normal.

And though he tried hard to keep a positive outlook on life, he struggled with his sanity. The gloominess of the situation, with its icy finger, threatened to enslave his heart. The distant horizon felt like the vaccine to combat the enemy, still distant, and far from hands reach. Everywhere, chaos reined and no one, not even the ones in power had any clue what to do. They were all safely tucked away in their so called castles, making appearance only when needed, leaving the work of combatting the enemy to be done by the struggling subjects.

As he walked towards the sea, he wished the waves would carry him away, envelop him and take him away from this cruel struggling world. He wished to become one with it. 

But then he realised that there’s so much to live for, even in the present moment. All was not lost. Though hope and faith was only things on hand, it was sufficient to fuel him on. And there was love, the love that he had in his heart, the love that he wanted to meet, the ones who mattered most of all. He couldn’t give up, for the sake of the love he felt, he had to keep the hope and faith. A wiseman said help will always comes to the ones who never give up on hope.

So he took one last glance at the sea, and then walked back to where his friend awaited him, and they returned back on the road they taken, back to the life he had known.