Remember Me

If out of sight is out of mind, what happens to those who we have lost sight of? What happens to the ones who have gone never to return again? How do we keep a memory from fading off? The ones that we hold in our heart hoping they never go away.

When you walk among the tomb stones, you come across graves that are crumbling and in a dilapidated state, abandoned with weeds growing over them. Have they been forgotten forever, no family to come and decorate and keep their graves clean, or pray at their final resting place? Though we may sprinkle flowers on their graves (as my aunt used to tell me we should make the graves round our family’s grave look nice too around All Souls Day) are they well and truly been forgotten?

What legacy do we leave behind to be remembered long after we have gone? We are human, mortals, prone to a reducing grey matter, dwindling memory. How do we keep a memory from being forgotten?

There’s always a familiar tune, words, places and occasions, which remind us of the people have left and gone. We have them cause we have experienced it with them. What happens when we are gone and so is everyone who experienced it, do they fade away in oblivion?

I am a firm believer that the ones we love never truly go anywhere. They continue to reside in our hearts long after they are gone; a memory in our mind, a photograph hung on the walls of your heart for eternity. 

So no matter how long, your memory will lost on, in photos and tunes, in memories and anecdotes. They remain long after you are gone.

So will end with this...

“Remember me

Though I have to say goodbye

Remember me

Don’t let it make you cry 

For even if I am far away

I hold you in my heart

I sing a secret song for

Each night we are apart.”

The Navy Run: Thoughts of a sore Runner

There’ll be good days and bad days

Days when things just don’t go your way

Today was just one of those days

But keep your chin up

And hold your head up high

Because you tried

Finished what you had started 

Giving it your best

The delay in the start

May have annoyed you

And the thought of crowd management 

May have caused a custom wariness

But then this was a route 

Which you were familiar with

The weather Gods relented

With a nice cool breeze 

And then you got to remember

This is the Navy

And boy they don’t disappoint 

The arrangements were splendid

And I managed to understand the route

And all the markers along the way

The volunteers where cheery 

Boosting the spirits of runners weary

The twist and turns were meant to be

When you run at the BKC

So there were cheering and excitement 

All the ingredients for a good run

But then weariness and soreness

Caught up, adding to the fatigue

With stitches being felt at your side

And not just on your clothes

Causing you to slow 

First into a crawl and then to a walk

Much to your dismay 

Making you wonder 

Why on earth did you try something new

When you knew the outcome

Of not stretching well

A miscalculation or just age catching up

Slowing you down

But then giving up 

Is something you don’t know

So with all the energy you had

And from the urging of your fellow runners

Who passed you by

You gave it all you could 

Finishing with a burst of sprint

And then having the honour

Of receiving the medals 

From the men in white

Then having the pleasure 

Of listening the naval band 

Playing those oh so familiar tunes

Then you had the meet and greet

The pleasure of meeting

Your fellow runners 

Posing for pics and selfies

Smiles all around

Making you forget 

The pain and disappointment 

Finally cheering your friends

As they went to collect their winnings

Take a bow the organisers 

And of course the Indian Navy 

You never cease to make us feel proud

And hold our heads up with honour

The pride we feel when we see 

The woman and men in white

A big salute and thank you

Not just to the Navy

But to each and every volunteer

So in the end it may have been

An opportunity that went a wasting

But then today may not have been my day

But then there’s a lesson to learn

And learn I will and move on

To come another year 

Stronger and better than the previous

The Carolling Dilemma

As the temperature dips low

And the weather is starting to get cold 

it means that October heat

Has made way for winter’s cold

It’s time to break out the woolies 

The sweaters and the hoodies

To drink eggnogs and what nots

All the things that warm body and spirit

But the ears yearn to hear

To those familiar refrains

That comes with the season

Even if it’s over a month too soon

My heart wants to sing

Like a bird on a tree

Even though I know that 

I sound like a braying mule

My cheek’s Gone rosy red

From the breeze and the cold

And joy fills the soul

So I don’t care if it’s not December yet

I will hum away

I will sing about sleigh bells 

and silver bells

And  jingling of the bells

About trumpets and angelic choirs 

And a drummer boy drumming his drum

Going rumpa pump pump

While we go fa la la la

Announcing the birth of a saviour 

Although I may not know snow

It will not stop me dreaming

About a winter wonderland 

White and blue and whatever colour

And riding through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh 

Led by a reindeer with a red nose

And of course a fat man

With a snowy beard, rosy cheeks 

Wearing a red suit

Not knowing how to use the door

Comes down the chimney

When the whole world is asleep

While kids tip toeing for a glimpse

Though you may think me crazy

Singing carols so soon 

But then the heart wants 

What the heart wants

So if it want to sing carols

A moment too soon

I will hum and sing it

Not a moment too soon

Christmas resides 

in the heart always

A feeling that will never go away

Making it stay with us

Long after the date has gone

So if I want to sing carols 

In November, May or June

I will do that

Bringing joy to my soul

Joy to the world

The Relationship Maturisation

We all have this inherent need to love and be loved. Longing to belong, to have someone to call our own. Someone to call our home, where we feel safe, secure and loved.

The naivety of youth, seduced by a hormonal need, never fathoms what love truly is. What seems fresh and new, is often an infatuation, a need for a status change, a label to be applied, a soul to flaunt and go around with. A love that’s not mature enough to stand the test of time, or the first sign of a storm or challenge. Like seeds planted on rocky soil which may bloom for a while but then wither and dry when the sun gets hot, not mature enough to survive the long run.

As youth makes way to middle age and the freshness that was once was there starts to go stale, love too has to change, has to evolve. It can no longer be an infatuation. It needs to turn into something more meaningful, something more mature.    Love requires a commitment, a relationship. You may no longer be the pick of the litter, so finding someone may not come easy. 

Relationship is no longer a physical need, but an inherent want to find someone to settle down with, a quite desperation. But don’t let this desperation cloud your thinking, or what you be left with is a broken relation and shattered heart. 

But you can’t go about being rigid and not letting love affect a change in you. You can’t go saying, this is who I am, and this is who I will be, accept me as I am or leave me. You can’t be like the oak that stood rigid only to be uprooted in the storm.

To make a relationship work you’ve got be willing to let bring a change in you, to let it slowly chip away at you, bringing about a change, for better or worse. Ego has no place in a relationship and needs to checked out at the door, if you want the relationship to work.

Relationship is not always smooth sailing. There may be good days and bad days. Days when all you want to do is get out of it. But if you work things out, the relationship that you share will only mature and grow, and you will grow with it as well. 

So don’t you worry if you haven’t found love, cause love will find you. It may take its time but eventually it will find its way to you. And when you find it don’t let go and let it thrive and grow and your ego and mature with it.

Oh Road.... where art thou

Dear Road, where art thou

Are you going the pavement way

You may not be shrinking or disappearing 

Or been encroached upon

Well to think of it

The metro work has encroached on you

But still you are not in the way

You are meant to be

You have been concreted

And many place have replaced

The tar roads which we once knew

But then you are not completely concrete 

There are joints which are still tar

That throws two-wheel riding fools like me

Often off balance and out of whack

And then there are edges 

and manhole covers

Where it may seem like 

You ran out of concrete 

And in its place you have 

Tar and Paper blocks 

Oops, I meant Paver blocks

The covers of the manholes

Which rise up or dip down

Often a trip hazard 

That could lead to any fall

And then the paver blocks

That have been laid

In such an artistic way

Must have given its layer

A creative orgasm 

Knowing that they’re pockets are full

And those blocks have been laid

So such novel ways

The quality of them don’t matter

Not to them or the ones commissioning it

Cause there’s money to be made

So you have them sinking

And even breaking to two

Making riding on it

An experience full of surprises

Never knowing what to expect

Always staying cautious and focused 

Then you have the legendary potholes

Like the craters on the moon

Giving you the feeling of

Riding on the moon

If you were able to ride on the moon

So you never know 

What you need to concentrate on

The Road, dodging the potholes

Or the characters you meet on the street

Not forgetting the continuous digging

For God knows what

But they continue to dig and drill

And then go and fill

And then go ahead and dig again

Maybe it’s a way that just 

To keep you busy and employed 

And as I said before 

You also have the metro

That have encroached upon you

Often taking up the good part of you

Making us poor riders ride 

On the uneven parts of you

So sometimes I wonder 

Who do I pity more 

The poor you

That’s constantly the source

Of the income for a few

Constantly being dug up 

And encroached upon

Or the poor vehicles that ride on you

That have to face so much wear and tear

Or even the poor drivers or riders

Who need to pay utmost attention to you

Or find themselves on the road

Or even in a pothole

Or a ditch by your side

With a broken back and in pain

But no matter what

We shall always take you

Even though we may curse

And call you names

Cause deep in our hearts

We know that you’re not

The one to blame

But we just hope 

You don’t disappear altogether 

A Heart to Heart with a Crazy Heart

My dearest heart

What exactly do you want to do

Your ways, so often

Leaves me puzzled and confused

Never knowing what to do

You overrule the mind

Throwing logic to the wind

Never willing to listen

To the voice of reason

So very often ending up in a soup

You crave for an affection

That you so desperately yearn

And when you receive it

The moment seems long gone

And there’s nothing there now

Just a niggling annoyance 

That feels strange

Oh my dearest heart

why don’t you make up your mind

What exactly you want from life

You have been trying to 

Find a reason if your said situation 

Is right and good for you

Only to find yourself

Falling into a situation 

Which is just the earlier situation 

But only it’s part two

Heart, please tell me 

What you want me to do

I know you’re affectionate and kind

And concerned for the ones 

Who matter all the time 

But then your concerns

May often seem overbearing

And the questions you ask

No matter how noble

Mag come across irritating

Often leaving you at the brink

Of a nervous breakdown

Of your own doing

You want to move on to the new

But you can’t let go of the old

Often holding on

While trying to move on

Like trying to accelerate 

While pressing the brake

Oh heart, why are you so confused

They say the heart wants 

what the heart wants

Often stubborn and bullheaded 

Never willing to listen

To the voices that warns

Often making you look like a fool

My heart, I will never know

Were you will lead me

Though I try to be logic

But with you all my logic 

Goes for a toss

Though I am cautious to your ways

I somehow always seem to be falling

In the pitfalls that you refuse to see

So please, so please take care

To think about this fool

Before you plot your way

Life, Lemons and the Runner

“Everything that happens, happens for the best”... “When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade”... Well if you tell this to a Runner who hasn’t been able to do his weekend long run, be sure to duck the lemons that will be thrown at you.

When a bad back gets you down the only thing that you can do is hope that it better heal quickly and you are able to hit the road and the Gym because face it the whole world seems to be running and you have been putting on weight which you need to loose before your vacation trip (face it, everyone wants to look hot on their vacations, especially if it’s near a beach and you want a presentable beach body).

So dil pay pathar rakh kay rest lene ka decision lay liya (vow I can talk Hindi... woohoo). So I decide I would head to NCPA and volunteer there.

The weather was perfect and the sight was beautiful and met up one of my best gals who I have not seen in ages (except on Instagram). The moonset over the Arabian Sea was breathtaking (see I am also gold at geography). And to top it all it was meeting my fellow, privileged runners (as I was underprivileged if not being able to run), interacting with them, getting to know them, posing for pictures, cheering people who had dressed for the Halloween Run, in short, being in the centre of all the fun, actually took off the edge of the pain of not running. God bless our SPOC and admins and our Angel volunteers and of course our sponsors, breakfast, energy bars, yogurts, energy bar (sadly didn’t taste any).

So returning home with a glad heart but sleepy head (actually dozed off riding short gun with Captain Praveen... I am so sorry). Went on to take a nap with a glad heart cause it was a morning well spent.

But hey it doesn’t end here. Well then your phone keeps buzzing with people who have completed their race and runs, leaving you feeling those guilty pangs (or was that indulgence pangs of over eating). The world was out there running and you were the only one missing out on the running fun.

So finally succumbing to the guilt (cause your back’s doing good) so set out on a run. Initially thinking that 30k was doable but then settling to the idea that it is not to push the back ... and the maddening picnickers... who I swear need to learn how to damn well park their vehicles and drive on the right side of the road.

So I went, dodging motorbikes, pedestrians, cars and buses, first down to Marve beach and then Dana Pani beach, just hoping, hoping I get to see the sunset. So I passed the  previously mentioned parked vehicles and our vehicular traffic, often having to walk. But I managed to maintain my arm swings and foot strikes (phew) and no signs of the nagging back pain. So passed couples getting it on (not completely and I wasn’t gawking at them), men enjoying their drinks and dancing in drunken stupor, boys trying to take a selfie  and dance to some weird music. 

Survived all that and maintained a decent pace and reached back home for some stretches... and yes got to see a beautiful sunset. But then the weighing machine hands me some bad news that I piled on instead of getting it off... so now there’s more work to be done.

In the end, I got inspired by each and everyone of my Runner friends and went out for an evening run and did decently well. So that brings an end to an down and up weekend. So back again to the Monday and battling the weekend blues. But hey had a good time and that’s what matter.