..when I am gone!!!

Have you ever wondered what would people say when you’re gone? Call it creepy, call it morbid. But when Halloween is around the corner (and not to leave out All Souls Day) you’re given a pass to be just that. 

So what would they say when you’re gone? Would they wail and beat their chest, lamenting your passing, tear at their clothes and hair, wailing? Ok may be not that dramatic (the working of an over zealous, morbid mind) but would they shed a tear (if not a bucketful) and mourn your passing? Would they say “Why only the good die young!!!” (Cue Billy Joel and the eye roll)

When you’re gone there will be no secrets anymore. All that was hidden will be known. Sab andhar ki baat bar agayenge! You’ll know what people truly think of you. Would their thoughts leave you blushing or would you be left fuming? Would their thoughts sing your praise, or would they man hi man curse your name?

Would the one that you pined for realise what they missed out on, what a big mistake have made and regret what they  can never have anymore? Would they mourn you or would they say good riddance to bad rubbish? Nothing will be hidden anymore, innermost desires will come out, the way one truly feels for you. So you know who you can choose to haunt (buahahahahaha) and who you can leave in peace (or piece, your choice)!

But till when it happens (not going to dig my grave right away) going to continue living, going to continue to enjoythe suspense of the thought, what would...till it comes to pass!!!

The Joy of Gifting

Some offices do and some don’t. Some gift their employees and help bring in the festive spirit. While there are others who believe in DIY and BYO (do it yourself ans bring your own, for the uninitiated). Mine belongs to the later, or is it former, damn that’s so confusing. Ok, so to put it in simple, less confusing terms, believes in do it yourself. So then, for the past six years ( yep that’s how long I’ve been with the organisation) you have to deflect questions like your organisation didn’t give you anything for Diwali (not even a bonus), what kind organisation is this (making you itch to say, the kanjoos kind), and then give you the pity and smug look.

On second thought why do you need the organisation, or for that matter, the power to be, do things for you. They have never done it before and don’t see it happening any time soon. They may have their reasons, or not have the budgets (cue the eye roll) for it. Why depend on them when you can do it yourself. At the end that’s what they are encouraging (along with a mail of does and don’t for decorating), so why depend on them to spread the festive spirit?

So with a little help from my friend at White Peacock Craft, got a small but elegant handcrafted Elephant lamp. There was a tiny personal ulterior motive to it (which was definitely not to butt kiss), the main idea was to do something for Diwali. Initially was bit apprehensive about it, but in the end gave into spirit of gifting and spreading the festive cheer.

To my great relief and delight they were appreciative of the small but thoughtful gesture, and they loved the little handcrafted elephant. Although I am a firm believer that when you do something good for others, never let your right hand know what your left is doing, since they arrived an incy-wincy bit late, they knew who these little elephants were from. 

Received a lot of gratitude and appreciation for it, which was never my goal, or the reason for doing it. Just wanted to do something and spread festive cheer. So was grateful for their appreciation. But the cherry on the top was when a colleague sent me a pic of including this little gift as part of her Laxmi  puja. Couldn’t have asked for more.

In the end would love to thank my friends at White Peacock Craft and Soul Sugar Bakery for helping me bring a small bit thoughtful cheer this Diwali, and adding a dash of sweetness and gifting with a twist on the traditional Diwali celebration, not just for my work colleagues but also for my dear friends. So in the end it was indeed a Happy Diwali.

P.S. I shudder at the expectations for Christmas... just kidding... let’s see what can be done!!!!

I see your True Colours

I see a colour 

That’s deep inside you

That makes you distinctly you

But it’s buried underneath 

The layers of you

Far from the prying of the world

Cause the world may not get you

Or your colour

So you keep it hidden away!

You may smile

But you’re smile is just a mask

A mask that you wear 

Masking the pain you feel inside

Cause  you’re afraid to show you

Bare, bruised and broken

And so you smile through pain and sorrow 

With a hope for a better tomorrow

The world may seem like a nasty place

Tearing you down

Not letting you be you

Cause you don’t fit the norm

What they expect from you

Cause you dared to deviate

To be different

To challenge the norms they set upon you

When you refuse to melded and moulded 

In their ways 

Forcing you to hide your colours

While they show theirs dimming yours!

And when you think you had enough

You can’t take it anymore

Loosing sight of yourself

And that colour in you

Don’t loose hope, don’t give up

There’s goodness in the world

That will always find you

When you need it the most 

That will always be with you!

There are those who will support you

Who will have your back

When you need them

Who will be your rock

When times are bad 

Who will be the glue that will bind you

When you feel you’re crumbling 

Who will be your crutch 

When you go weak 

And need someone to pick you up

Who will be your flashlight

In the darkest of nights

Who’ll never let you be alone

Who see your true colour

And will let it shine through!

So you with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged, oh I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

The darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

Show me a smile then

Don't be unhappy

Can't remember when

I last saw you laughing

This world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

Just call me up

'Cause I will always be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow!

The Voting Day Dilemma

Standing there, staring at the machine that lay in front of you, you wonder who are these people that lay in front of you. Symbols that seemed familiar but faces strange.

Who are these people, where did thy come from, who were they, what were their qualifications? The fairweather people that you only see around the time, making promises they don’t intend to keep, tall claims that were shorter than they exaggerated to be. You have so many questions zipping through your head with no answer in sight. Well, not all of them seemed unfamiliar. A few known faces among the mix. But do you give them that what they seek from you? Or did they even care?

It had been a muted campaign season, as if all seemed resigned to their faith, to the inevitable. So there was little or no information of the people who’s picture you stared at. So you are left in a quandary of whom to give what you felt like an insignificant press. No matter what you chose the outcome seemed already set in stone which ever you looked at it.

So standing there you try to make a decision. Do you be impulsive and press anyone of them, or do you let your emotions get a better of you and let it influence your decision, after all you had the feels for Aarey and the job market, and the nation as you perceived it, or you plan inky-pinky-ponky to make your choice.

Your finger kind of inching towards the button you want to press though there’s doubts lingering in your head, biting you whether it was the right one. You didn’t have the whole day, work beckoned, life beckoned, and the people outside in the queue beckoned, ok they didn’t beckon, maybe gave you a couple of gaalies.

So you reluctantly make your choice and wonder if it’s the right one. But then you  made your bed and now you need to lay in it. So you leave the polling station accepting the choice you’ve made, having performed you civic duty.

The Horny Honkers!!!

You can’t escape them

One way or the other 

They will find you

The horny honkers !!!

For them, honking is music to the ears

And why should they be selfish

And keep this art to themselves 

When can be generous and share it

And let others in on their performance 

They go by the rule that

Honking is their birthright 

And they shall do it 

Probably the only one they follow

But this ain’t a rule but a personal one

Rules are not meant for them

Following them is beneath them

And breaking them

Is what they were meant to do

So should find yourself in a position

Where you’re waiting the signal to change

And hear an incessant honking

Just give up and give them way

Cause patience isn’t their middle name

Or any name for that matter

And neither is it Miss Jackson

They will honk 

Till you finally give in

Or you could risk 

Your poor ears bleeding!!!

You wonder what pleasure they derive 

From all that honking 

But then you wonder if it was possible

That honking is orgasmic to them

An aphrodisiac they need to have

To get them all hot and heavy

You wonder if every blast of their horn

Sends pleasure electric pulses

To  their pleasure points

Making them come with every blast

Till they reach a climax!

You can imagine 

They screaming in ecstasy 

Every time they blow that horn

And no other part 

Till they can take it no more and come!

So in the end

Should you chance to come upon

This peculiar creature 

Which you most likely will

Just give them way

Cause resisting is futile

For your sanity and your ears

So just let them pass by

The horny honkers!!!

Riding the Rickshaw: The Rollercoaster of the streets of Mumbai

Who needs  a roller coaster when you can take a rickshaw ride from Vikrohli to Ghatkopar, and enjoy the same thrill and excitement, for a fraction of the cost? The anxiety, the fear, the terror, the twists and turns, every emotion that you go through when riding a roller coaster can easily be experienced taking a rick! Try it and you know what I mean!

One minute you’re left, the next you’re right, one minute you’re on the road, the next on the pavement, one minute on the right side of the road, the next on the opposite direction of the incoming traffic. Zigging and zagging and weaving your way through traffic, smoothly and effortlessly. A little space will do for it wriggle it’s way ahead and make way for itself, leaving you speechless with its manoeuvring ability.

You hold on for your dear life just as you would do when coasting on a roller coaster, holding your breath as long as possible, cause when you can’t breathe you can’t scream. The only thing left to do is put your hands up in the air and let out a loud whoop whoop, or a scream, or whatever sound that manages to come out that throat of yours.

Your stomach does the flip-flop with every twist and turn. Your heart gets jerked right to your mouth, and a prayer finds its way to your lips, leaving the gods pleased that at least in these moments you remember them. You’re left wide eyed and amazed (if  amazed is the right word here) every time it just narrowly misses an unfortunate soul that should find themselves in its path. Akin to scenes from a video game, a moment of life imitating art, in this case game.

Sometimes you wonder if these souls think themselves Formula One drivers who narrowly missed their calling and now have been left with driving these rickshaws, which they treat as their very own F1 car. That would make the streets their very own  F1 track. Maybe they are driving down their very own streets of Monaco.

And when the ride finally ends (not quite sure if you can quite call this a joyride), your brains feels scrambled and your legs feel like jello. You pay the fare, without argument, grateful you are getting off on your own two feet (even if it’s a bit unsteady).  But then you know you’re going to do it again, just like riding a roller coaster.

The Coming Out Conundrum

What do you mean by coming out? Do you really need to come out? Why do you need to come out? The only coming out that you need to is coming out of your mother’s womb after floating around for 9 months, or more (or less), after floating around in amniotic fluid.

Why does one need to come out? We don’t hear straight men and women coming out and saying “Look here, I am straight!” So why does a gay man or woman have to come out, state their preference out loud. It is their preference, what they choose to be, very much like a straight person, they need to be afforded the same benefit, like a normal human being, cause there’s not abnormal about being who you are.

How I choose to live my life is my choice to make. In a way you don’t really choose who you are. Cause when it’s all said done, as Lady Gaga would say, we are born this way. What we become is our choice. It’s upto us how we choose to live our lives. We can chose to live it in closet, or be out and proud.

Who you are is your our personal thing. It’s on a need to know basis. It’s not for the prying eyes or gossipy ears. It’s for those who mean something to you, who are important to you. Who accept you no matter who you are and how you choose to live your life. It’s not something to be declared, to be worn like a scarlet letter across your chest, around your neck, meant to be poked fun, to be ridiculed, treated like an insult, fodder for gossip, the target of hate. Its a choice you make.

Your sexuality and your preferences are yours and only yours alone, your personal thing. You can’t help falling in love with who you choose to love. Who you want to tell is your right, your choice, your decision to make, and no one can take that away from you, no matter what they try to do. Who you tell, who you want to come out is your choice. In way your telling them you are important to them, you are letting them see you who you are, behind the mask and facade, the real you, the naked you, stripped to the bone.

It’s a choice and decision for you to take and something that shouldn’t be forced upon you. Have you seen a straight person put under pressure to come out as straight. Then why does gay man or woman have to do it? Because they do not conform to the norms of society, you do not live up to what’s expected of you? But in truth you don’t have any norms or expectations to live upto.

Coming out can be liberating, it can set you free, it’s all up to you. It means you don’t have to live a life of lie. You can live the way you choose to live, love who you choose to love, without the care of the judgemental and condescending eyes. 

Be who you are. Be a rainbow, bright and beautiful, adorning the sky. Be a unicorn, unique from all that’s around you. But importantly be you, and the ones who matter to you, who get you, will care for you no matter what, you don’t have to explicitly tell them who to you, you don’t have to come out, cause they just know, they will get you. They accept you no matter what. 

So to come out in the in the open is yours and yours decision to take.

There’s Something About the Waltz

There’s something beautiful of the waltz. The rise and fall, the elegance of it all. The fluidity of the movement, makes it all seem like you’re floating on air,  as you twirl around the room, making the most of the whole floor. And you maintain the hold, maintain the frame, making it look elegant and classy, a step above all the gyrating and pelvic thrusting of other dance forms.

There’s something magical about the waltz when done right, makes it all seem so effortless, so elegant, so beautiful, liking gliding on air. There’s something dreamy about it, maybe that’s what makes it all seem so magical.

The music is lilting and melodious. There’s no thumping, or heavy bass. It’s pure rise and fall, soothing to the ears and mind. Captures your spirit and carries you with it. It envelopes you in it and you can’t help yourself but be carried away with it, to let the music move you, run through and rise and fall till reach a crescendo.

Theres something about the waltz that it’s no longer about moving back and forth and side to side. Its all about drifting with the music. It’s not all high energy and quick movements, but movement that’s graceful, that’s elegant, that’s classic, and most of all breathtaking.

There’s something about the waltz that made me fall in love with it, that’s makes me move to the music, leaving all the cares and worries and pains and stress behind and let music and the dance carry me away. There’s something about the waltz.

An Orgasmic Workout

If you  should chance to step into a gym, if you aren’t a gym rat like me (though that’s a term I detest to be known as but in reality I know I am), you know you’re stepping into a testosterone filled space (would that be same for women too???) 

The puffed chests, the pumped biceps, the sound of clanging plates, of pumping iron, with each trying to out do the other, an unspoken competition between the gym rats. But above all the clatter and the idle chatter (yes you can find it in the gym too) and over the din of the music blasting over the sound system, comes that grunt of giving it your all in the final set, feeling the burn.

Then there are those who grunt incessantly throughout their workout. And sometimes these grunts can be quite suggestive, awkwardly funny (you know what I am getting at). They sound like their getting some action (which is actually true in the literal of sense), in the heat of moment, filled with passion (damn they seem to be quite passionate about workout in a different way). Oh come on you definitely heard these sounds before, one way or the other, you can’t  be all that sanskari!

All the sound that they make makes you wonder what are they actually upto. It sounds more like they are  humping around, climaxing, reaching the point of no return, an orgasm (damn they seem to be quite passionate.... about their workout).  It’s like what the f@#%, get a room, why do you want to let your bedroom secret out? Why do you want the world to know the sounds you make in the bedroom?

Sometimes you wonder if they are aware of the sounds they make? But then you see the ear buds and you know the are deaf to themselves. So they continue to grunt to their hearts content, oblivious to the sounds coming out of them, much to the  embarrassment, awkwardness, amusement of those who happen to find themselves in the gym at the same time as them.

You wonder if you should give them the eye roll, or give them the WTF stare, or just plainly chuckle at their obnoxiousness. But no matter you know that no matter what you do or try to do there’s no stopping then from having one orgasmic workout.

The Dark Lonely Road

I have been down a road

A cold lonely road

Where there’s no other soul

And you find yourself all alone

Down that dark lonely road!

You feel you’re loosing your mind

And all you want to do is hide

But then there’s nowhere to go

From all this is happening in your mind

And no one knows what going on inside

You stand there and smile 

As if there’s nothing wrong outside

Though you’re in denial

Cause you want to seem normal outside

Though you’re dying a million death inside 

All you want to do is cry

Cause the pain you feel inside

Is eating you inside

Burning you, consuming you

Sending searing pain through your being

You just want to close your eyes and let go

To drift off to eternal sleep

Drifting down an abyss of no return

The world can be unkind

And turn a blind eye

Even though it may know

The pain you feel inside

May call you names and make fun of you

Labels you and trying your patience 

Making you feel like it revels 

In seeing you cry 

Leaving you broken, wounded, bleeding

But then the world is not always cruel

And will not always treat you a fool

Cause there are those who are kind

And try beyond the act you put on outside

They will make sure your never left behind 

Or all by yourself all alone

Remember after night comes day

Form darkness comes light

Cause there can’t be darkness all the time

At some point you’ll see the light

To banish all the dark that you feel inside

So don’t loose hope

You can never loose hope

There’s so much to live for 

There’s so much to give

So don’t ever give up 

You can never give up

Though you maybe tired and frustrated 

And the things don’t seem to go your way

But for every wrong can’t make right

And there’s going to be time 

When life will get it right

So don’t loose faith 

Cause good things will come your way

If you just hold on a little longer

Have a little faith

Help will always come 

To the ones who need it the  most

So just reach out and take that hand

That’s reaching out to you 

To pull you out of the mire 

You find yourself caught in 

Who throws you a lifeline 

When you feel that life 

will swallow you whole

You don’t have to go alone

There’s someone out there  for you

So you just have to reach out 

And take that hand

Acknowledge the pain you feel

You don’t have to hide it

You don’t have to fight it

You don’t have to feel 

Ostracised because of it

Believe, have faith

You cannot give in

You can never give in

There’s so much to live

So you can’t give up on it

Cause no matter how hopeless

You’ll always find a way

So believe and stand strong 

Cause you’ll make it through

Both you and I!

The Fool for Love

We are fools for love

We are in love

With the feeling of being loved

And loving back in return!

We may try to hide from it

We may try to avoid it

But in the end we all are victims

Of Cupid’s wicked ways.

Through the heartaches 

Through the heartbreaks

We promise ourselves never again

We harden our hearts

We steel our will

We threaten our hearts

And make it promise it never will

But no matter what we may try to do

Love finds its way to you

We don’t know when 

We don’t know where

We don’t know how

We don’t know who

Ans though we may try

To desperately to avoid it

We can’t help ourselves

But be that fool in love!

Love knows no reason

Love know no boundaries

Neither thus it know

Gender, age, religion, culture or country 

It just lets us love

To love without expectations

With hope that the love we feel

Will flourish and grow

Into something very special!

You can never hate yourself 

For the things that you feel

You feel what you feel

Whether it’s reciprocated or not

You cannot judge your worth

Whether your feelings are

Reciprocated or not

Whether your feelings are returned

Is in the hands of the other

Your love may be reciprocated manifolds 

And at times it may be not

But you never cease to love 

No matter what!

Don’t deny yourself the feeling

Cause to feel that way

Is the most natural thing to do

Cause you’ll feel what you feel

You’ll love who you love

Whether you can help it or not

Whether it’s reciprocated or not

Sometimes you got give it time

For love to bloom and come to you

You’ve got to be patient and calm

Cause if it’s in your destiny

Then it will find a way to thee

If it’s meant to be it will be

When it’s in your destiny!

So don’t fret, don’t loose faith

Don’t loose hope

Cause love will find a way to you 

We can’t help ourselves but love

Cause love is what we can do

Though we may try our best to not

But all we want is to love

And be loved in return

Cause love is all we need

Cause love is all we want

So live, love, hope

Cause life is beautiful 

When you’re in love!

The Success Factor/Failure Affliction

Success and Failure, two things that goes hand in hand, the two sides of the same coin, a frenemy. You can’t know one without knowing the other. We can’t appreciate one without the other. You can never appreciate the sweetness of success without tasting the bitterness of failure.

Both part and parcel of life. We can’t go through life without running into them, without experiencing them. Let’s face it, we aren’t always lucky to meet success at every time, and there’s surely going to be a moment  where failure is going to give way to success.

We are so wrapped up in our singular vision of succeeding that we forget about failure. We so want to succeed that failure is not an option. We so forget to prepare ourselves just in case we don’t succeed.

Success and Failure are part parcel of our lives. They go hand in hand, often complimenting each other, creating a new appreciation for each other. We cannot know one without the knowing the other. But each of them, in their own way, teach us, help us to learn and grow. 

Sometimes we may have to face thousands of failures before meeting success. Sometimes we may succeed in the first go itself. The goal here is not let failure get us down, or let success get to our head. You don’t have to wallow in it or gloat about it. Learn from it and move on. Learn from it and improve and grow.

Don’t let failure get you down. Either it was not meant to be or there’s a better thing out there or a better way to get to where you want go. It’s not the be all and end all. Don’t loose hope. Dust yourself off and get up. There’s always hope for the hopeless, so don’t loose faith.

So hold your head up high and be proud that you had the courage to undertake a quest that others would have quiver to undertake. If you succeed, pat your self on the back and move on to the next milestone. If you should fail, don’t loose faith, see what went wrong, learn from it and try again, till you succeed.

So in the end if you should chance to run into anyone of them, don’t be afraid of them, or shun one for the other, or snub one for the other. Don’t treat one your enemy and the other a friend. They are both equally important, they are both equally essential, both friends and teachers. So embrace both as you would embrace life. Cause that’s the way life was meant to be.

Come Away with Me

Come away with me

Let’s leave this world behind

To a place they can’t hurt us

With their judgemental eyes

Come away with me

Let’s leave our cares behind

For a moment put our burden down

Stop worrying just for a while

I don’t know 

If I can make your burdens light

Or make your cares disappear 

But what I promise is to

Stand forever by your side

You can share your burdens with me

And together we we will find a way

Out of the worries and the care

You don’t have to bear it by yourself

You can always share it with me

And I can try to make it light

Come away with me 

We can escape 

To a world our own

Far from their judgemental eyes

Come away with me

To a world of love 

Far from them 

Who tell us our love is impure

Come away with me

To a world we can make our own

Away from those 

Who tell us we can’t love this way

I want to wake up with you

While the rain falls gently outside

Playing a tune 

The score of our love

I want lay there with you 

With you in my arms

Leaving our cares outside

To never bother us for a while

I want to hold you tight

And tell you that everything will be alright 

Cause no matter what

You’ll have me by your side

Come away with me

Let’s lay down 

And make love

Till it’s morning light

Come away with me 

And let our touch 

Set the night on fire

burn our cares away

Come away with me 

We can kiss

All our cares away

Even if it’s just for a while

Come away with me

Cause I can’t stop myself

From loving you

So all I ask of you

Is to come away with me

Into the night

Why don’t you come away with me!