Hearts Afire... Cravings of a Quarantined Soul

There’s a fire burning inside me

Threatening to consume me

If I don’t feed it, if I don’t fuel it

A craving, a need, a want, a longing

For the feel of skin against skin

Bodies pressed against each other

Feeling the heat

Feeling the passion

Of two souls burning brightly

Combusting into flames of their desires

The craving for that touch

That turns you on 

That sends your toes curling

That turns the heat up a few notches

The warmth of a breath against the skin

The feeling of lips on lips

The taste of tongue as it explores

Going deeper and deeper

The ecstasy of climaxing in unison 

The sweet smell of sweat on skin

That better than any smell in the world

After a session of passion love making

The beating of the heat

As you lay there with your head pressed  against their chest

Listening to the beating of their heart

The smell of their hair 

As you bury your face in it 

A warm, strong arm wrapping itself around you

Pulling you closer to them

Making you feel safe, secure in them

A need to be love and be loved

A need to make love

Rather than plainly having sex

A carnal need of the flesh, a sexual desire 

That sets our Hearts in Fire!

Hope... in time of distress

It may be a strange and scary time

Where to stay safe we need to keep distance

Something very tough 

When we consider our social 

When we need  each other the most

But we can protect each other

By keeping away

We can stay safe

By staying indoors!

Though the night is dark and full of terror

And day seems dull and bleak

Don’t  loose hope!

Don’t give up on your faith!

Cause hope’s the biggest strength you have

And your faith will see you through

Help you overcome it all

Cause even I the darkest night

You’ll find your light

That will light your way

That will guide you home

For it can’t be night forever 

For after every night comes the day

And with every sunset

There will be a promise of sunrise 

So the times may be dark and scary

And an unknown danger is lurking around the corner

Ready to sneak upon us, ensnare us

We have our brave souls 

Working hard, night and day

Putting themselves at risk

Sacrificing it all

So that we may be safe

So let’s now do our bit

Stay indoors, no matter how difficult it may be

Cause otherwise our applause may ring hollow

And all their effort will be in vain 

So till this all passes through

And it will surely pass through

And the earth is healed

Have little hope, keep a little faith 

Cause together we shall overcome

Together we will make it through

And this phase we will pass through

Say a prayer for those who are working

Unceasingly, untiringly, unwaveringly 

Caring for those affected

Trying to find a way out

So now it’s your turn to do your part

And stay indoors, help prevent the spread

So here’s to us

Here’s to the ones

The true heroes taking caring of us

Cause when all is said and done

We will emerge stronger 

Together as one

For a new day will definitely come

So till then stay indoor, stay safe , stay healthy!

Heroes... in the time of Quarentine

We came, we applauded, we blew conches, rang bells, beat plates, howling on top of our voices, and some fools even taking to the streets (which was opposite and detrimental of the entire endeavour). We cheered and showed our appreciation, saluting their dedication, their effort, their sacrifice. And they rightly deserve it. But after all this cheering, what next?

They have put themselves in harms way so that they care for the ones who need it. They have not bothered about their own lives but ensured that we are taken care of. They are our first line of defence, heroes without a cape, or costume, or fanfare, but they are fighting a way more grave, deadly and dangerous supervillain (if we can dare call it that). They look just like you and me but have the strength, resolve, patience, courage of thousands of us put together. They are brave, more braver than anyone you and me will ever know, or will ever know, especially when combatting against something so deadly.

They are our true Heroes, if ever we needed one, if the world has ever known one. The Earths Mighty Heroes, the rightful Avengers. But then they ask nothing, for no recognition, or accolades, and sadly may never get what they truly and rightly deserve it. All that they ask is we keep safe and stay indoor, stay quarantined, and sadly even that we find so difficult to do, difficult to follow, putting ourselves and others at risk, in harms way, something irresponsible on our path, putting in vain all their effort, adding to their work. 

They are risking it all, many without the proper protective gear, cause it’s all out of stock, because many time it has been used by the ones who don’t really need it. Sometimes working in conditions which are unsafe, which could add to the risk, could add to the numbers of affected, put them more in danger. And because of all the hoarding, they lack the basic amenities.

So in the end, they don’t need our applause, or our cheering. They appreciate it, but it isn’t something what they ask for. They ask nothing for themselves, but things that can be done that could help save lives of others, that would help combat the danger. What they truly is need is our support, and the support of those with the powers to be, so that they would do the right thing. 

So rather than applauding their bravery, which, let’s face, does them no good, let’s stay indoor, stay home, self-quarantine ourselves, till the stipulated period for the lockdown is done and we have successfully fought off the danger, we appeal to others to follow suit. And at the same time we can make the ones in power, with the means do their bit and support these heroes in their fight, give them the means they need, aid them in doing their job.

By doing these things, which may seem small, but important measure to take. And if we do this it’s the best form of appreciation we can do for them. So  stay Safe, stay Indoors, stay Healthy!

The Giver

We are the Givers!

We give with all are hearts

With all our being

We give because 

That’s what we love doing

That’s who we are

That’s how we let ourselves be defined

Without expecting anything in return

But still hoping that 

Somehow, somewhere

There’s someone out there

Willing to give us what we deserve

What we need

But we are so wrapped up in giving

We forget that we deserve to receive

That we become afraid to receive

We give so much of ourselves 

Way beyond ourselves

And when we are taken for granted 

Are cheated, deceived

Often overlooked for another

Leaving us broken and shattered 

 In million pieces

Leaving us hurt and bruised

And though we may cry 

We will never stoop to curse

But we may ask why

Why do we put ourselves in this position 

Why do we let ourselves get hurt

Why do we give so much of ourselves

To someone who totally doesn’t deserve us

Who walks all over us

Why do we put ourselves through this pain

We pick ourselves

Dust ourselves off

And go back to our routine

Trying to heal

And then falling back into old habits

And again giving

Not quite learning the lessons

Which we have been taught

But it’s time we do things for ourselves

To be the receiver 

Rather than always being the giver

Cause we deserve that

For all that we give

For a change it’s our chance to receive

For all that we give

It’s time we be the Receiver!!!

A Song can Save a LIfe

As he stepped out on to his balcony he could sense the gloom, the air heavy with fear, anxiety, dread, of a city under siege, a city quarantined, in lockdown. The streets below bore a deserted look of a city gripped in fear. He noticed a few people sitting in their balconies, and even at this distance he could make out the gloom, the dread, the fear, but most of all the sadness in their eyes.

He couldn’t quite take this, and so stepped back into the confines of his room. He felt a cold sense of dread slowly gripping his heart, its long cold fingers slowly threatening to squeeze the life out of it. The air around was heavy and rife with fear and anxiety. He couldn’t shake off this feeling no matter how hard he tried.

And then he noticed his keyboard just sitting there. So he plugged it in and started to play. He needed a way to escape, a way of maintaining his sanity, and music provided that escape, music was therapeutic, in a time like this, and music was what he needed. Low and behold he felt a warmth rising from his fingers time, which were tickling the ivories, and flowing through his veins, to every part of his being, slowly enveloping his being, forcing the fear to recede, lifting the gloom, bringing him hope, calming his anxiety, settling his nerves. The music like a healing balm began to soothe his soul, relaxed him, calmed him down. And as he played on, everything seemed to light up with the gloom fading away, and his spirits lifting.

And as he tickled those ivories, an idea struck him. He knew what he needed to do. He took his keyboard to his balcony, and plugged it in to the speakers. The streets were still deserted, and there were few people staring blankly into space. He took a deep breath and hoped what he was about to do would bring respite from the gloom and fear that gripped the city.

Slowly he began playing his keyboard. At first, eyeing the buildings around him, and then slowly getting lost in the music. As he played, he noticed more people coming to their galleries, some wondering what was the music about, others just swaying hypnotically to it.

Low and behold he heard the faint strains of a saxophone being played, in a distance, duetting on the song he was playing. And he scanned the balconies for the saxophonist, who so beautifully blending into his own music, without once loosing the beat, keeping up their duet. And then he finally saw her peering out of her balcony, playing the saxophone, a building a way. He gave her a big thumbs up and continued to play, pausing for her to continue her note and then playing on. Together they made sweet music. 

Their music had intended affect, as more people came out on their balconies to enjoy the music. The gloom that hung heavy was slowly lifting up, and along with it their spirits. They continued their duet amidst the cheers of those who witnessed them play, who were touched by the music, who’s spirits were uplifted.

And as they brought a close to their duet there was a huge round of applause, resounding from every corner of the block. People appreciating what they had done, what they had just heard, what they witnessed, eternally grateful for the music. They too applauded each other. In that moment music provided them with the healing touch that was the need of the hour, and had somehow managed to save their lives.

.. Dance away the Blues!!!

“Put on your red shoes and dance the blues”... sang David Bowie. Well I don’t quite have a red shoe, and neither can I dance the blues. But I can sure put on my dancing shoes (which shows no sign of red on it), and dance away my blues.

I don’t quite have two left feet! No sireee I don’t! I am damn sure about it. And I am sure rhythm is always going to get me, and I definitely don’t dance like the drunk uncles at a weddings. I can sure hold a beat, though I am not quite sure I can dance to it!

There’s something liberating about dance. It’s no just rhythms and beats, or steps and choreography. It’s a mean to set your soul free. It’s an expression of self, of your inner feelings, a fluidity of movement, letting you express the words you cannot speak, through movement. 

It has become my happy place, where I can escape to when I feel the world is conspiring against me, when nothing seems to be going my way, when anxiety threatens to consume, when I am struggling to maintain my sanity, hen I feel broken and beaten. Dance has been my go to therapy. Helping me forget my cares, my pain, helping ride out the lows I go through, loose myself in the moment. 

And though I may have struggled to find my feet (even though I still contend that I don’t have two left ones), though I may have been intimidated by partners, struggled to pick up choreography, got in my head, let my nerves get a better of me, I can’t help my dancing feet, cause they can’t just stand still, dancing to the beats of my heart, the rhythm of the blood flowing through my veins.

Then you have friends who bring joy to you, helping you not just to dance but being there for you when you need them. Helping you find your feet when you’re little bit unsteady. Your support system that you didn’t knew you needed. Seeing them brings joy to you like a child meet his friend after a vacation.

And although you my have goofed up your certification, you yet look forward to giving the next level and in even more dance forms. And though you struggled to pick up a dance form you thoroughly enjoyed performing it. You totally immersed yourself in it, and was lucky to dance with your best partner, helping you put your best foot forward, especially in front of people who mean the world to you.

So in the end you can’t wait to see where the road leads me, where these dancing feet take you. Though I technically can’t really say that the journey has only just begun, because it has been a while I have been on this road, and boy am I learning and enjoying it, with friends who have become a dancing family. So here’s to many more memories to make, so many more dance forms to learn, so many friends to make. Here’s to dancing away the blues!

Why oh Why!!!

Why oh why oh why!

Why do we have “Why”?

Why this, why that!

Why me, why now

So many Whys 

Not many How

An annoying word to be heard

To ask and be asked

To try and find an answer 

To an eternal, infernal question

With no answer in sight

And solution to be found

So it needs to be banned

To be banished 

To the further most recesses of the mind

Never to be used again

Never to be heard again 

Never to be asked

Never to ask

No more WHY

And on a different note

Why is pretty neat song by Annie Lennox 

(Backup) YOU

It’s something we all need to do

But it’s the one thing 

We find the toughest to do

We struggle with it

We doing ourselves about it

We find it difficult to do

To accept ourselves for who we are

The way we are

We crib and cry about our imperfections

Never truly realising 

That these are our perfections

Cause we are perfectly imperfect 

We may be broken

We may be bruised 

But that’s what makes it uniquely you

So be who you are 

Who you are meant to be

There’s no need to be afraid 

There’s no need to hide

Cause one can tell you can’t

So be unabashedly you

Be a rainbow 

Be a unicorn

Be uniquely you

Don’t shy away from your sensuality 

Don’t be afraid to express your sexuality 

Learn to enjoy them both

Learn to own them 

Just as you would of your body

Irrespective of its type

Be proud of who you

Cause the greatest love 

Is learning to love yourself 

And if you can’t love yourself 

How can you love anyone else!

The Man

If I was the label

That you’re used to 

If I ticked off all the boxes 

Of your checklist 

That you choose to use

If I said those words

Just to woo you

Would I be the MAN to you?

If I was calculative 

If I was cool

If I did things to just show off

And manipulate you

If I followed your every rule

If I boasted about 

My so called bright idea

Just to impress you

Would I be the MAN?

If I played sports

And was more outdoor

If wasn’t so domesticated 

And knew house chores

Others were meant to do

If did all the things

That a boys should do

So I could please you

Would I be the MAN to you?

I’m sick and tired 

Of trying hard as I can 

Trying to be the MAN!

I am sick and tired 

Of trying to be something I can’t 

Just to prove that

I can be the MAN!

Would I be MAN?

But I can’t be boxed in a hole

Or be labelled

Cause I am more than just a position

I seek more than a position

Or think myself of any community 

I show by actions 

And not just through words

How much I care 

But I will never try 

To do anything

Just to get close to you

Or try to flatter and please you

I am way more than that

 Cause the bad ones get the cream

While the good deal with a broken heart

I refuse to brag 

About the things I’ve done 

Or take credit for what I’ve not

Or butt kiss or boot lick

To be in your good books

And move ahead 

As a career move

I may lack the power moves

Or refuse to be drawn

Into a political game

But I take pride of all things I do

About who I am

Who I strive to be

But that means nothing to you

I try not to judge

The ones I know and meet

Always a giver 

With little in return

But I don’t mind it 

Cause that’s who I am 

I get hurt and I get bruised

And bear those scars 

On being used

I may tear up

But I will never let you see me cry

Those tears in my eyes

Cause they are mine

Not because I don’t want 

To be seen as weak

Others may walk over me

But don’t take me for granted

Cause I may be patient

But if you stretch me too far

I will snap

And then maybe

You’ll feel the pain I feel

But then I refuse to stoop 

Or come down to a level

That would be low for me

But no matter what

I’ll still be the better MAN

I’ll be the MAN!

..when Santa ran a Half Marathon... ok 21 k

I have always known him to be a jolly soul, always cheery, a bit loud, ok quite loud. Someone so full of life, someone always ready to support and lend a helping hand to those who need it the most. Someone who will always cheer and motivate you the loudest, as big as his personality. Someone who reminds you (and for that matter, everyone else too) of a holly jolly soul from the North Pole.

As he had been training diligently, it was a natural progression for him wanting to attempt a Half Marathon distance (that’s 21 km, for the uninitiated), and it was good he was attempting this distance on a supported training run which meant there was no timing pressure, running at a comfortable pace. And so we egged him on and cheered him on, the day before, boosting his spirits, trying to keep his josh high, only to add to the pressure of completing it. And in the words of the man himself, it felt like giving a board examination.

So on the day of the run I was quite happy to see him alight the rick, greeting him with the enthusiasm I could muster (after all who wakes at 3 am on a Sunday morning and not run... the answer to that is a crazy Admin). So after getting the warm up done (while you go on a clicking spree) and giving the necessary instructions and clicking the group pic, while trying to balance yourself on a wooden plank like platform, off they went.

After waiting for them to pass by I went to my water station, but not before seeing him pass by. Reaching the water station, I began to work with my fellow volunteers to prepare the hydration before the runners begin to flow. So once the hydration was ready you and your fellow volunteers go about doing what you do best, be buoyed by each other’s enthusiasm and that of the runners who stop by to hydrate, to chat, to click a selfie. You continue to be your cheery self, shouting (if not literally screaming it out) “Water, Fast and Up”, irrespective whether the runner stopped, just acknowledged, or plainly ignored you.

As a large group of runner arrive at your station you get busy serving them water and Fast and Up, preparing Fast and Up, chatting with them, enquiring about their run and the Unpredictable Mumbai weather. You get totally caught with your volunteering responsibilities that you begin to wonder if he passed you by. You ask friends if they have seen him pass by, cause somehow at the back of the mind you have this nagging thought that he would be amongst the last runners to reach the station. But then no one had seen him, and he already passed by the previous water station (which had packed up and headed to the end point), you begin wonder if he decided to give up, after all Mumbai weather can be treacherous, and can never be easy to cover the distance, especially for a first time runner. 

Your fellow volunteers think they saw someone like him pass by, but somehow something nags you that he hasn’t passed by. You reluctantly wrap up your station as the last runner has passed your station. However, you ask your fellow volunteers to wait for you as you get rid of the garbage from your station.

As you search for a dustbin to dispose off your garbage, you see him. He looks tired and weary, a bit hunched, running at a slow pace. But doggedly determined to cover the distance he set out to do. I breathe a sigh of relief, and can’t help but smile and cheer him on loudly. He may have been weary but spirit is high and the josh burning bright. He was still his jovial, cheery, loud self. And yes you couldn’t help but wear a really broad smile. 

You quickly try to find a garbage bin, but then by the time you get back to your station he has already passed and proceeded on his way. You finally wrap up the station, hail a cab, and you head to the end point. On your way you see him go, renewed and refreshed but still determined to finish it. You inform the other water station to be on the look out for him as he would be the last runner to cross, and then they can wrap up the station once he has passed by.

Reaching the end point you’re  greeted by runners who have completed their runs. You go about chatting and socialising and doing what an Admin got to do, avoid posing for pics but always ready to click. So while the cool down stretches are being done you go click happy, but not before you get your face smeared with blue colour. By that time the volunteers from the last water station arrive at the end point, which meant that he has successfully crossed the last water station. When you enquire about the same with the volunteers, they confirm that he indeed had passed the last water station. So you know that by hook or crook he’s going to complete his first 21k.

You get busy making announcements and trying to get the runners to assemble, talk over their chatter and fit them in a single frame (which trust me, is not quite an easy task, unless you are willing to fall off into the Arabian Sea)! But then he’s no where in sight and it has been a while since the last water station team has returned to the finish point, making him miss a majority of the post race shenanigans. So you begin to worry again, if he would make it. But the low and behold you see him in the distance. You can’t help yourself but let out a loud cheer, encourage him, and then when he finishes you beam proudly as he  raises his hand in jubilation, a victory of mind of over body, of dogged determination, a victory for himself.

If I could tear up I would, and I fight that feeling. Making me wonder if you ever got that emotional on seeing someone complete a run! But then you know you did that day, when Santa decided and completed a Half Marathon!

.. the Sea within!!!

My mind is like an endless sea

Deep, dark and bottomless

It longs to be calm waters 

But ends being choppy seas

Never truly still

Always disturbed

A constant storm brewing

And in those stormy waters

I find my sailing

Tossed from wave to wave

Constantly fighting to find a way

Constantly fighting to stay afloat

Constantly in a fear

Of drowning in my thoughts

But still I hope for calm waters

I hope to stay a float

To swim against the tide

To find a way to calm the raging sea

To find a way to calm it down

And bring some semblance 

In the thing I call life!

What is happiness to you???

What does happiness mean to you??? It’s waking to a message from someone dear to you. Someone who you thought lost in the darkness but now determined to make their way into the light. Reading their message moves you, brings you to a hint on tears, if not the whole water works. And though it may have been the coughing fit that woke you up, you can’t help but stay awake with the joy you feel for that someone who’s dear to you  who has found their way back.

What does happiness mean to you? It is seeing your friend run their first half marathon, and you cheer them on. And when you haven’t seen them pass by you worry if you missed them. But then you see them making their way to the station you can’t hide the excitement to see them. And at the finish line you are filled with joy just seeing their determination with which they covered the distance, and it’s this determination that leaves you in awe, leaves you inspired, cause you know this friend is a jolly soul, and you want to be there for him as he has cheered many before. So you find yourself moved and filled with happiness just seeing him finish.

What is happiness to you? It is seeing a friend you haven’t seen in a while, and you don’t know the reason why. But now you see her, you’re so happy to see her back. You can’t help smile, and give her big hug, and welcome her back.

What is happiness to you? It is meeting a couple that you adore, who inspire you, and you get a warm hug from them and moment to chat with them. It is meeting a friend who has inspired you, guided you, and mentored you. It’s in the warm hug you receive, a friendly conversation you share, along with a selfie. It is being part of a running family that you help to nurture and grow, amongst the people you love and adore.

What does happiness mean to you? It is happiness you hear in your friend’s voice when they call you . It’s in the crackle in their voice, you can visualise that happiness, and in that you find an happiness, a warm sweet feeling spreading through your heart. It’s in their happiness you find a soothing calm, a happiness that becomes your own.

What does happiness to you? It’s the moment the music reaches your dancing feet and you loose control and let the rhythm take over your soul. To dance to the beating of your heart, getting lost in the music, filling you with a joy only you know, to be dancing with gusto and heart. It’s in the fact you are in the front row and are able to pick steps and keep to the beat, filling you with a joy and happiness, making you forget the cares for the world.

These are few of my favourite things, the things that makes me happy, that brings a calm, and in the end in deed making it a beautiful day!