The Cheering Souls

We runners don’t run and race all the time. Sometimes we do turn up for races not to run but to cheer our fellow runners on, to cheer our friends on. I swear, we really do! It’s easy to get all caught up in the excitement of the start line, the nervousness, the unbearable tension of wanting to just go and get it done with, so it takes great restrains to not give in and just join in, after all the park is open to all, but then you are mindful you’ve got to run a race the next, your first complete Trail Run, your first Half Marathon post TMM (sadly the race got postponed due to rains, a wise division though, but we do pray and remember the ones affected by it).

So as you ride down to the park, in the pouring rain, you question your decision, your sanity, of riding in the rain not to race but just to cheer your friends on and maybe even pace a friend or two (or none). You somehow get to the park splashing away in the rains. You greet a bunch of enthusiastic runners who made it despite the pouring rain. And there at the start line you find the volunteers, members of the BNP Green Runners, many of whom are friends, many who you know by face but not by names, frantically and enthusiastically serving water and Enerzal to the runners who need it.

You join in helping them cause their enthusiasm is contagious and it gets to you too and you get enveloped in the excitement. The energy at the start line is electrifying (and not just because of all the lightening and thundering). They do an awesome job ensuring that every runner starts hydrated, ensuring that not even one runner is missed, even the late comers. When it pours we even joked that the Rain Gods were providing their own form of hydration, albeit in its purest form.

As the race starts you join them in cheering the runners who slowly cross the start line, screaming yourself hoarse wishing everyone the very best. Once the last runner is served you move with them to the start of Gandhi Tekadi, to help direct runners who would return from Kanheri and would have to go up Gandhi to complete one loop (they had to two loops to complete their 25). So we all stood there waiting for the first runners, positioning ourselves so that would not hinder runners but also be able to direct them in the right direction. They are open to suggestions and not once ignoring, and take into consideration any help and support I could provide, not once making me feel un-welcomes, in fact made me feel right at home, a part of the team.

So as we wait for the first runner to come, the kids practise their steps that they had choreographed to cheer the runners on, to provide them the energy they needed. Girls in their pretty pink visors and their Pom-Pom and the boys with their lime green hats, trying to learn steps, remember steps. We stood there smiling as we saw them practice. 

It was learned that a tree had fallen down near Kanheri, needing adjustment to be made immediately without hampering the race, without inconveniencing or endangering the runner. They immediately sprung into action, to troubleshoot the situation and be ready before the first runner finished. A big salute to their quick thinking and proactiveness for not letting the race get affected.

So as the lead bike approached with the first runner approached, he was greeted very enthusiastically, cheered on by each of us as  he took off up Gandhi Tekadi. And from there started the flow of runners. They too were greeted with enthusiasm,  cheered on. Not once did the energy ever dipped, cheering and howling as the runners went by, “Come on you can do this”, “Just keep running”, “One more loop to go”, “Runners turn left”! They kept cheering runners on till they went hoarse. But still continued, high fiveing the runners who went by, attending to runners who needed help (there’s a reason why it is called Endurathon).

Once the number of runners began to dwindle, and the leader finished his second loop, I finally gave into temptation and joined my friend to run a loop up Gandhi Tekadi, especially since I had given my water to a runner who needed it more at the time than I did. The volunteers at the top were more than helpful in getting the bottle filled, not once bothering that I was not participant and were more than willing to help. Even the volunteers on the way to Gandhi Tekadi were cheering all runners on irrespective whether they were participants or not. The beauty when runners organises races for runners. 

Now on my way to Kanheri I saw my buddy Pankti going at it, mustering every ounce or strength, stamina, energy she could muster, willing herself to keep going. So decided to help cover the the last couple of kms (which included going up Gandhi Tekadi once more). Since we train together i knew she would be able to catch up to the lady from her age group, who was currently running third. So pushed her, cheered her on, constantly talking to her, cheering her, was so ready to hear her scream back at asking me to shut the fuck up, considering she was giving it all and her legs were tired after all she had completed one and half loop and my legs were relatively fresh. But she didn’t really yell back and just chugged along giving it her all. And though she narrowly missed 3rd by mere 10 seconds, she did awesomely well, was super proud of her, after all Endurathon is always a tough race, but she did in a sub 2:30.

So after the race, as it is custom, it was time to congratulate the runners who had completed the race, the ones who had the courage to undertake this daunting race, to click pics and in general to socialise. Even though I didn’t participate not once did I feel out of place. It was great to meet so many running friends, many of whom you meet mostly at races and Running events (and as I hadn’t raced till TMM it had been quite a long time). It was fun mingling with them, to catch up with them, click pics with them.

In the end, as usual, had a fun Saturday morning (one of the few races actually to take place on a Saturday), cheering, supporting my fellow runners. Was so proud of so many of my friends who undertook and successfully completed the race, many of whom inspire you. And then it’s a big salute to the organisers and volunteers who did an awesome job taking care of runners, going out of their to ensure that runners have a good experience, selflessly cheering them , serving them, supporting them. I swear I am going to be back next year after missing it  this year, after all I can safely call BNP my home ground.

In an unfortunate turn of events the race that I had signed up had to be postponed due to the rains and the holding area getting submerged, but it was a wise and thoughtful decision. The organisers were instead helping to evacuate villagers who were affected by the rains and flood. Two instances of organisers going beyond themselves to ensure the runners’ safety and well being of the runners, their priority, cause it isn’t always about the money. 

Help ME make it through the Night

They were two lost souls, a bit broken, a bit damaged, imperfectly perfect. Their past may have scared them but it hadn’t quite broken them. They had weathered their storms, which had damaged then a bit, but they came out stronger. They were two lonely souls in this world, who felt drawn to each other, a pull towards each other, a kindred spirit. Circumstances had torn them apart but destiny had other plans and conspired to bring them together once again.

As they sat there, trying to catch up, trying make up for lost time, they could feel this pull towards each other. A tension, an undercurrent, an attraction that they both felt, but were too shy to acknowledge, too scared to accept, conscious of society and the world at large. They sat there, bring each other to speed to what had happened all the time they were apart, trying hard to fight the urge to act on how they really felt.

As they ate silently, an awkward silent, a song began to play, a slow music. In that moment, it was now or never, to be brave and acknowledge what they truly felt for each other, the feeling that they had been denying, the feeling that they were trying to push back but could not push back.

He got up from his seat and to him, taking him by the hand, taking him by surprise, pulling him towards him. He held his hand and put his hands around his waist, and began to move slowly to the music. At first, a little hesitant, a little shy, but slowly letting themselves get lost in the rhythm of the music, the beating of their hearts, which was pounding against their chest, threatening to break free.

He placed his head over his shoulder, as they moved slowly to the rhythm of the music, moving together in unison, two bodies joined by their souls. They didn’t care if the world saw this as right or wrong, they didn’t care what it would say tomorrow. They didn’t want to think what they would say tomorrow, they didn’t want to try and understand. Yesterday had come and gone and tomorrow was out of sight. All they had was here and now, they wanted to live in the moment. They needed each other cause it was sad to be all alone. They needed a friend, a company, but they also needed something much more to help them make it through the night.

As the music slowly came to an end, they slowly moved to each other, forehead to lip, nose to nose, and slowly and shyly and finally, lips meeting lip, letting them interlock, letting the passion they felt fuel it. They didn’t care who was looking, they wanted to live in that moment, live in that passion. They were two lonely souls, they didn’t want to be lonely no more.

He paid the bill and took him by the hand. They didn’t care what tomorrow would bring, all they had was here and now, they didn’t want to be alone, cause tonight they needed a friend to help them make it through the night, they needed each other to help them make it through life.

When all is said and done...

She had never envisioned her life taking this turn but yet here she was. Falling in love was never part of her plan, if she did have a plan in the first place, but yet here she was falling in love with this man. In fact he wasn’t even the type of guy she would normally go out with, let alone be interested in, yet here she was falling in love with him, each day of her life. They often shared a good laugh when they admitted the unfavourable impression that they initially had about each other.

He had checked out of the place where he was staying and moved into the apartment which she was given, as it was close to the cafe, where he had taken a role of the bartender, which he wasn’t very good at, but then most of the patron normally didn’t care and he was quick learner. On the plus side he got to learn about all the gossips of the town. On the negative side not all the gossip was welcome, and after sometime it did get to him after he heard the same thing over and over again. She usually laughed at it when he narrated his situation to her, much to his irritation.

Her life was perfect, not in the way she had intended for it. She liked the twist it had taken. And the twist was what that had made it magical. They spent major part of their day working at the cafe, taking lunch and breaks together, flirting at every opportunity. During their day off they explored the city, the nearby cities, spending time on the beach or in the meadow, if they weren’t making love. Life was beautiful, life was magical.

As days went by she began to notice a yearning in him, a call to return to a life he had once known. She could feel it every time he mentioned it, every time he told her about the people and office from his life who tried to get in touch with him. This life was her dream, what she intended for, this was not he wanted. He just latched on it because of her. She knew she had to do what was right by him, even if it meant breaking his heart and hurting him in return. She had to stop being selfish and have him live her life but let him go to live the life meant for him.

When he told her about an offer which he had received which kind of interested him, she knew this was her chance. She tried to convince him to consider the offer and take it, he may not get a such a chance ever again. She tried to counter his argument that this was her dream and not his, and it would be wrong, would be selfish to hold him back, when he said he was happy here.

When he realised there was no winning with her, he finally gave up and said he would consider the offer on the condition that she would come with him. But then she was not ready to return back to a life she left behind, that life was not meant for her and there was no returning back for her. That was a life meant for him, this was her  life, the one she was meant to live.

They argued the whole night and for the next couple of days, both not willing to budge from their respective position. She knew she had to hold her ground cause it was for his best, even if he didn’t see it. He finally relented in the condition she would visit him. She reluctantly accepted this condition.

Her heart broke to a thousand place as she saw him get on the ferry and leave for the main land. She knew he was hurting, hurting bad, maybe much more than her (if it was possible). She kept telling herself that was what best for him, best for her, best for them. Trying to convince herself that what she was doing was right, to keep her from jumping into the ferry and into his arms, but she knew there were was no happy ending for them, cause this was no fairy tale.

She returned back to the life she had made for herself, trying futilely to get him out of her mind. She couldn’t help herself when her mind wandered towards the thoughts of him. But she was determined to try and put him behind her and this thought kept pushing her on.

Then one day she felt queasy and needed to be taken to the doctor. She didn’t realise that she had missed her period, and was in shock when she learned that their love had planted a seed in her and it was growing and would soon bear fruits. After the initial shock wore off, she began to debate if she should tell him, but then he would have a reason to return, which wasn’t something she wanted (though secretly she hoped for). 

So she decided to go down this road all by herself. Once more she stood on the cusp of something new wondering where would life take her, what turn would it take now, what was in store for her. It was a daunting road that lay ahead of her, one if chosen then there was no turning back. This thought frightened her. But she realised she had this feeling before, and she made her way through it, she determined to do it once again. She had no clue what life had in store for her but she was ready to undertake the adventure ahead, to face what lay ahead. Cause when all is said and done she found the strength from within her.

.. for Good

Everyone that comes in our lives has a reason, has a purpose, has a role to play. They affect us, they change us, they meld us and mould us, helping us to become something good, helping us to become the best version of who we are, the best version of ourselves. And we in our own little way affect them too, helping them in return, only if we let ourselves to be open to each other, be affected by each other. Cause when we open ourselves we begin to learn, change and grow, together, for good.

But then nothing is truly permanent in life. Life itself isn’t permanent. So people are bound to come and go. And even though we try our level best to hold on to them, at some point we need to let go, set them free to set ourselves free, we can’t hold something forever. But even though they may go, they leave their impression up on us, upon or heart. And the ones that truly matter never truly go away. They imprint upon us, etched in our memories, like photographs hung on the walls of minds, they never go away, staying with us for all eternity.

Relationships are rarely permanent, rarely last, but the ones that are meant to be will be. Relationships are like the parable of the sower. Some relationships fall on dry ground and fail to take root. Some fall on rocks, where there’s some soil, they take root, but on the first sign of the sun, of difficulty, they wither and die. But then there are those that take root and bare fruits, prospering and growing, weathering whatever come their way.

Many a relationship don’t turn the way we intended for them to be. Some metamorphosing into something more beautiful, something more meaningful, something that we hadn’t really thought they could be, but something that they needed to be. These relationships turn into something way more special and important and stand the test of time in their own way. Embrace every relationship that you had, cherish it, respect it, honour it, but when it is over, mourn it, and move on.

So in the end everyone that comes into our lives have a reason for their presence, have a role to play, to help bring about a change, to act as a catalyst to become the best version of ourselves, the version we were meant to be. And even when they go, when they have to leave, they still stay with us in the lesson which they taught us, the change they affected in us, they remain with us forever, they remain with us for good. People don’t really go away, they stay with us forever, in our hearts and in our minds, in a place where we will hold them for all eternity.

A Reconnection

They worked in the same organisation, albeit briefly. They were both aware of each other and secretly crushed on each other, never really acting on that crushes, a bit too shy, a bit too afraid of being shot down by the other. Till one of them eventually found the courage and voice to speak. They had a nice conversation but once again nothing much happened after that, they just went back to their own shells once again, went back to their lives, to the routine of crushing on each other from afar.

Now time flew by, days changed into months, months to year. Organizations changed, jobs changed, friends came and went, and so did relationships. They seemingly lost touch with each other, till a post brought them back in touch with each other.

That simple birthday wish to a common friend led to a ping trying to figure out if this was the person they crushed on and somehow managed to loose touch, cause sometimes out of sight goes out of mind (sometimes holds true).  For a moment they were grateful that they saw that greeting to  as it served as a catalyst to try and get back with each other.

After a quick confirmation it was back to rekindling that feeling that they felt for each other, reconnect a connection that had come undone for whatever reason it may have been. There was a decade worth of catching up. And though chat served its initial purpose of reconnecting them to each other, to catch up, they needed to meet, to see if there was something there that wasn’t there before.

So they finally met, finally admitting the crush they had for each other, and then sharing a good laugh about it cause the opposite person wasn’t aware about it. They shared their lives, all that had happened, everything that transpired till that very moments. The highs and lows, the joys and sorrows that they had seen, everything that had occurred to them through the years.

In those moments of tender sharing they realised that they had feeling for each other but then they were hurt, or hurting, from wounds inflicted by others, by past relationships, past experiences, some self-inflicted. They discovered that they were broken, bruised, in need of some healing to be done. Life had not always been kind on them, but had been a strict teacher, cause through each of those moment they found the strength that had made them stronger. 

They really liked each other but then there was some healing to be done before jumping into things. Each of them had a life to live, things to be done. They just didn’t want to be a tick mark on each other’s checkboxes. They needed to be more open to each other gives each other thing. They needn’t get ahead of themselves and just dive into thing, when take a slow stroll and still get to the same place. There was no use to label things and then ruining it all.

That day they decided to give each other space and take it slow  and see where things would go without disrupting their lives they had known. They found a way back into each other’s lives, they didn’t want to loose each other once again. They wanted to hold onto each other but not too tightly that it became suffocating for the other. They were friends first, friends who would be there for each other. From there they could take it nice and slow. It was time to make the most of their lives, the opportunity of reconnecting. To hold on to each other and never let go. That day was the first day to make the most for the rest of their lives. A reconnection.

The Vanishing World

I close my eyes and hope to see

A world that’s waiting there for me

A world that I can call my own

The world of pain that’s known to me

Just vanishes away for while

And for those few moments

I can be who I want to be

People who’ve vanished from my live

Many who are no longer alive

Or have moved on to better lives

Find a way back to me

They may have vanished from my world

But here they will always be

One with me for all eternity

The world that doesn’t accept me

Cause I may not be 

The way they want me to be

Vanishes for those moments

And in those brief moments

I can be the way I want to be

That’s true and honest to me

A society that looks down on me

That always tries to label me

And pokes fun at me

Judges me for I choose to be

The way that I am 

For who I choose to care for, to love

Who I choose to settle down with

In those moment this society vanishes

And I am part of the world 

That accepts me the way I want to be

But then I have to open my eyes

And return back to a world I’ve known

While the world I’ve dreamed of

Vanishes from my eyes

To remain a figment of my mind

But always with a hope 

That one day I’ll find a world 

that’s meant for me

And will never let it vanish from me

Life is too Short... to be Wasted

Life is too short

To be wasted worrying about 

The what-ifs and what-nots

And what could-be

To live in regrets

The milk has already been spilt

They no use crying over it

You can’t pour it back 

The world has moved on

So should you

Life is too short

To be wasted being troubled 

By the opinions of others

Everyone has a right to their opinions 

Everyone has their own perspective 

They may never see things

The way you do

The way you think they should

But it’s by no mean means 

That you are right and they are wrong

And the other way around

It’s just you don’t let them

Weigh on your mind

You don’t let them get to you

Life is too short

To be wasted living a safe life

To living in what feel safe and secure

Nothing good can come from

Staying within the safety 

Of the walls that you build

It’s time you break down those walls

Step out of the boundaries 

Push your boundaries 

Let not your thoughts and fears limit you

To live the life the way you were meant to 

Life is too short

To be wasted being who you are not

To roam around wearing a mask

To be not true to yourself 

How long would you live

Living a life what others want you to live

To live a life of just a show

A jaga maga mala bhaga

To create an image that’s not true

To live a life that ain’t true

How long would you go on

Living a life that’s a lie

Wake up and be true to yourself

Life is too short 

To be wasted running from it

To working hard for money

To forgetting you have a life to live

To be scared of 

What the world may think of you

To live according to the opinions of others

It’s time you take control of your life

Live the life you were meant to live

Be the person you were meant to be

Embrace yourself for who you are 

Carry yourself with pride

Learn something new

Do something you never did 

Surprise yourself

Do something for yourself 

Don’t be a victim of your situation 

There’s no medal or badge of honour

Life is too short

To be wasted wearing a perpetual frown

To want something 

But be too lazy to work for it

To complain but do nothing 

To right the wrongs

If you want a change

Then be that change

If you want to change

Take courage and make the change

Nothing will come to you

Nothing will be given to you 

Placed on a silver platter

You need to go out there

Hustle and make it happen

Life is too short

To be wasted being all by yourself

Take a chance on love

Give yourself the chance to love

As much as you can 

To love and be loved

To feel the greatest emotion 

you’ll ever feel

To risk it all, to give love a chance

To put your heart on the line

What good is a protected heart

Hidden from the world 

Give in to your desires

Go out there and find the one

Who’s the reason for your smile

The sunshine on your darkest day

The one who makes heart skip a beat

In who’s embrace you feel safe

Who makes you  feel wanted

In whom you find your home

Life is too short

To be wasted being put in one place

To stay where you are 

And not see the world

Not wander down the road less traveled

To see the world

 the way it was meant to be

Cause I’m the end

Life is short

The world is large

Go out there and live

Go out there and make a memory

An Ordinary Man

I am nothing special, I am no one special. In fact I am a bit of a bore. I’m an ordinary fellow, nothing great, no one inspirational. I am nothing perfect, in fact I am far from it, and I know I will never be it. I don’t expect perfection, cause we all perfect the way we are. I am a bit broken, a bit damaged, a bit crazy, a hell lot confused.

I get easily overwhelmed by attention, I don’t crave it, I don’t seek it, but that said, I do appreciate it. I am no sinner, I am no saint either, I have my wants, I have desires, and something I act impulsively on them. But very often that leaves me with a strange feeling thanks to a prickly conscience.

I find it strange when people have crushes on me, want to be with me, want to get I on with me, cause I know there many more out there who way better than me. Very often I get overwhelmed with attractions, overwhelmed by the feeling of being drawn to someone. I am like everyone, I want to be wooed, I want to be love, as much as I can love, as much as the love I can give. I would love to see the opposite person take initiative as much I will. I may be childish, but I can try to do the best and be the best.

But then there are times when I may stumble and fall. I may have a cranial need, a physical need, and I may act upon it or may just try my best to deny myself it. I am no goodie-two-shoes, though I may often act like one. I may flirt, I may talk dirt, I get flattered when I know people desire me, though it leaves me feeling awkward, but at some level I like it. I enjoy the thought of sex and all that comes with it. But I also have a prickly conscience that ends up pricking my bubble. Leaving me feeling awkward, so often slut shaming me, unfortunately.

I am so often overwhelmed by feelings, so screwed by my overthinking. But I am who I am, I am an ordinary guy, nothing special or great about me. I am imperfect, broken, damaged, confused, someone who stumbles and falls bit too often but someone who does want to love and be loved.

At the end of the day I am just an ordinary guy who wants to love and be loved.

Coming a Full Circle

Today (yes it ain’t 12 yet as I write this) life felt like it came full circle. It was three years back where I attended the first ever inaugural promo run of the IDBI Federal Life Insurance Mumbai Half Marathon (damn that’s quite a mouthful but I know we have to put it that way to be correct), and after those three years today was only the second time I’ve actually attended the promo run. 

I didn’t attend, or I should be saying I missed most of the promo runs even when I was an ambassador (last year) with my pic being front and centre. For the inaugural run, I flagged off my MRR Training Run at one end of Bandra, quickly took a rick and went to the other end (changing my tee in the rick), flagging off the promo run, and then return back to MRR duty. Missed most of the other promo run (even the one on my Birthday because I was running in Ladakh).

Today felt like life coming a full circle, as I stood there hooting and howling as my buddies took the stage, as Sunil sir called them on. During that first promo run I hardly knew many runners, I didn’t know Sunil sir and Sangy Ma’am that well. But all that has changed. I am such in awe and respect for both of them, and Sangy Ma’am hugs are a must before the Mumbai Marathon. I am part of the running fraternity, and I will confess many know me, though I struggle to place them, remember their name, and trust me I am now way trying to be snobbish, I squarely blame it on age. I am part of this crazy group of Runners that I call my family, that is MRR, a.k.a. Mumbai Road Runners, giving me an opportunity to give back to running what I have received from it, love, inspiration and friends for a life time.

But what I remembered the most of that day is asking this distinguished gentleman with silver hair and wearing this Oakley glares, ans that bright colourful race gear, if I could have the pleasure and honour to run with him. And though he tried to discourage me, saying he was slow runner and he was going according to his training plan, I still insisted on running with him. The next day I read his beautiful post and it put a lump in my throat. Today as I ran I once again I remembered him, ran with him in my heart. Raviji I will always fondly remember you.

What today, or yesterday (as its past 12 now and we have moved into tomorrow) made me realise was on that day I was just another runner, just another drop in the sea of runners. Years from that day I am still just a drop in the ocean but now people do know me, and sometimes that leaves me feeling awkward. That day I had the opportunity to run with Raviji, today I ran with my buddies Dylan, Subhjit and Rajat, followed by a yummy breakfast with some awesome company.

From admiring the runners on the stage, to being one of those runners on that stage, to cheering my buddies today (felt like handing my sash over to them), Life sure has come a full circle.

The Race Ambassador Syndrome

Flashback to three years to the first ever promo run you’ve been to. You look upon a bunch of runners gracing that stage, many of whom are serial podium finishers, Ultra Marathon Runners, each inspirational in their own right, people who you look upto, both literally and figuratively. Many of whom you would soon call your friends, mentors, people who inspire you. You aspired to be them, to exchange position with them (little did you know you would actually do that a couple years down the line). They made you want to register for the race (and yes the lalach of a personalised race tee was also there).

Flash forward a few years down the line and there’s a race or two, every week of the year, even in the torture month of May, which is normally considered as offseason. And every race has to have a Race Ambassador, a popular runner, who would help draw runners to the race, as the face of the race. You have every Tom, Dick and Harry and Sally being Race Ambassadors. You find yourself scratching your head when you see the face of those who are now race Ambassadors (or maybe it’s just the dry scalp itching you). Sometimes it leaves you perplexed wondering what did they do to qualify to be a race ambassador (that includes yours truly too, still trying to figure out).

What you got to understand that races use these ambassadors to attract runners, attract their fan following (which these have in spades) expecting them to promote their run. And many who end up signing up for race because their friend is the face of the race, or are pacing the race. So if the organisers can use the runners popularity to attract registrations, then shouldn’t they also be held accountable if the race doesn’t meet the expected standard, and they in turn should hold the organisers responsible to  ensure that the runners get the experience that they deserve, they paid for. You should be able to call a spade a spade and take ownership or pull-up the organisers when you need to.

It is easy shirk off the responsibility and blame the organisers when things go wrong, but remember that your name too is attached with the event making you too in a way responsible for it. So rather than being all swept off at seeing your name plastered over Facebook and other social media, understand what the event is about, what is it trying to promote and who’s promoting the race and what are their track record. It’s easy to get your ego all swollen up but difficult and painful when the ego gets bruised.

So don’t get caught up in all the flattery all the euphoria, cause let’s face it, you’ve been used as much as you think you’ve been promoted. So be aware of the whole Race Ambassador Syndrome.

P.S. It’s funny to see runners be so myopic, choosing to support someone while ignoring, or choosing to ignore the person past indiscretions and unsportsmanlike behaviour and try and support the person and not question an already tarnished image.