An Ordinary Man

I am nothing special, I am no one special. In fact I am a bit of a bore. I’m an ordinary fellow, nothing great, no one inspirational. I am nothing perfect, in fact I am far from it, and I know I will never be it. I don’t expect perfection, cause we all perfect the way we are. I am a bit broken, a bit damaged, a bit crazy, a hell lot confused.

I get easily overwhelmed by attention, I don’t crave it, I don’t seek it, but that said, I do appreciate it. I am no sinner, I am no saint either, I have my wants, I have desires, and something I act impulsively on them. But very often that leaves me with a strange feeling thanks to a prickly conscience.

I find it strange when people have crushes on me, want to be with me, want to get I on with me, cause I know there many more out there who way better than me. Very often I get overwhelmed with attractions, overwhelmed by the feeling of being drawn to someone. I am like everyone, I want to be wooed, I want to be love, as much as I can love, as much as the love I can give. I would love to see the opposite person take initiative as much I will. I may be childish, but I can try to do the best and be the best.

But then there are times when I may stumble and fall. I may have a cranial need, a physical need, and I may act upon it or may just try my best to deny myself it. I am no goodie-two-shoes, though I may often act like one. I may flirt, I may talk dirt, I get flattered when I know people desire me, though it leaves me feeling awkward, but at some level I like it. I enjoy the thought of sex and all that comes with it. But I also have a prickly conscience that ends up pricking my bubble. Leaving me feeling awkward, so often slut shaming me, unfortunately.

I am so often overwhelmed by feelings, so screwed by my overthinking. But I am who I am, I am an ordinary guy, nothing special or great about me. I am imperfect, broken, damaged, confused, someone who stumbles and falls bit too often but someone who does want to love and be loved.

At the end of the day I am just an ordinary guy who wants to love and be loved.