Friday, January 11, 2019

.. one week to go: the TMM Fever

In just over a week the day of reckoning will be here, and when that day comes  what will you do? All what you have done, your labour, all will bear fruit. So when that day comes what will you have to show?

Well if you are thinking that the Armageddon will be upon us, judgement day, then you’re so wrong, it’s something even bigger, it’s the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon, oops I did it again, I meant the TATA Mumbai Marathon. And if you were to scoff and say that it’s just another race, a overhyped one, I pray you are saying this in your head and not out loud. A runner in tapering mode is like a person on a low carb diet, going through a severe withdrawal symptoms, will give you a ear full, and who knows, if they are low on carbs, may just about make a meal of you.

Well hyped or not, where would poor souls (and soles) like us, who can’t afford to qualify for Boston, New York, Berlin, let alone afford it, get to run in an international marathon? When would we get the chance to say we’ve run with the African gazelle, I mean runners (but hey when they run they are nothing less than a gazelle, a poetry in motion)? And when do you get a chance to lead them? Ya you would call it a head start, I’ll call it a lead. And yes, when would you get all the memsahab and sahabs of Peddar Road stand with trays to serve you (and you should not miss giving them the golden opportunity to do some real public service for a change). If that wasn’t enough then it’s the only time you get to run/walk/pee/take a selfie/pout, from the sea link (don’t tell me you haven’t done the last three or at least given it a thought). Dang I am more tired listing these reasons than even running.

Well now that the fever is upon us, catching us, burning us up, you will have one question to constantly answer (making you wonder if you were taking part at the Miss India), so what’s your target? In your head you want to respond, abhe sale tu apna target dekh, but then you politely respond, my target is to complete it and just experience and enjoy the race, and as soon as you utter these words you feel something grow, your nose you dirty dirty mind, and you start being on a watch out for crows, kyunki jooth bole kawa kathe.

But then you wonder if you have trained enough to participate in a full? When people have covered distances like 37 km almost every weekend (dekh kitna bhag te ye log) but the farthest you’ve covered is 32, that to in four hours, and walking the last part (well you could always blame the heat and humidity). But then your friend tries to console you saying you did two 30s in BNP, slopes included, which is equivalent to their run, and don’t compare yourself to them, but kya kare, adat say majboor, we can’t help but compare after all aren’t we all competitive animals?

This brings you to the question, kaunsa pagal kutte ne katta kay tum wapas 42 km daudne chala? What made you think you can run a 42, don’t you remember the last time you ran one? Well that’s the biggest reason for running a 42, your biggest drive. So you succumbed to the peer pressure, to rewrite the memories of last year, for once and for all put the ghosts of last year’s to rest.

So finally all there’s left to think/overthink is that the weather should be so kind and not let you down. So you pray to the old gods and the new, to every god you promise to break a nariyal, perform havans, offer masses, perform puja, do everything possible to appease the weather gods so that the weather stays the same, come TMM, and they do not play a cruel prank. If possible, you hope the gods, or Rajnikant, leave the refrigerator door open till TMM ends.

Well as the day draws closer, so is your TMM fever. You know that all the social butterflies have thought and purchased what they want to wear (and so have you) that will catch the maximum attention and will stand out from the rif-raf. Now the only thing left to do is run the damn thing and you can’t wait to do it and rid yourself of the TMM fever.

No comments: