Life on an App

A Dating App usually doesn’t have a very positive connotation. Very often it feel like these apps reeks with desperation, filled horny people willing to expose themselves in more ways than one, in the pretext of being laid or getting laid. Well, for most part of it this view is spot on. 

Yes these apps have people who are desperate and horny, who are unable to score in the open, people who want to be discreet but meet people, people who want to fuck or be fucked, looking for NSA (no strings attached), FNF (fuck and forget), and ONS (one night stands). But this doesn’t justify the condescending and judgemental nature directed towards them.

You need to have open mind here, this isn’t a place to pass your judgement. Everyone here has an agenda, so you need to know what is yours, what are you looking, what are your expectations. Everyone has one and is more than willing to let you know what it is, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You may roll your eyes when you read their profile, their expectations, which can be construed as rude, but in reality they are to the point, as per what they want. You are left wondering are these supermodels, as the preferences can be quiet insulting and blunt, but then that’s what they want, and in a place where’s its all based on choice and preference, they have all the right to say what they want.

You may be scandalised by the pictures they share, exposing themselves more than what you would want them to (as if you have a choice on what they show), but then you have a choice, you can chose to ignore and not respond, or you can swipe left (for us lucky Apple user), or just block them. You have a choice, exercise it rather than lamenting on the type of characters who approach you, who you come across. These people know what they want, what they are looking for, if it doesn’t match what you want you can exercise your choice. You can choose to meet over a cup of coffee and a conversation, and go with the flow, and if things go south, you can choose to end it, and forget it ever happened (except if you want to give it a second chance).

No matter how many weirdos you may come across, there are few (a minority) that make it worth being on the app. Sometimes you need to kiss (or meet) a thousand of toads for the one to turn out the one. They can floor you with their words, knowing just the right thing to say, making flirting seem casual and exciting, making horniness seem dignified, putting you and your mind at ease. They can put a smile on your, and make time fly by with their conversation. You can spend hours talking to them, listening to them, never ever bothering about time, making time seem inconsequential. They make every moment spent with them feel precious, they make you feel special. They  have a smile to dazzle you, making you go giddy, making you want to revisit chats so that you can relive every moment in your head. They make it worth traveling miles just to meet them, and at time floor you when they travel to meet you, make it totally worth responding to them. They may not be people with the best physique or drop dead gorgeous looks, but if you look past the superficialities there’s more to them that makes them worth it. You enjoy their company and look forward to chatting and meeting them. And if you go with the flow you never know where it may lead.

But to meet these gems at times you need to go through the mire. Be patient and you never know what may come your way, how you will be rewarded. So approach these apps with an open mind. Leave your prejudices, your judgemental behaviour and condescending nature at the door, and go with the flow and you’ll never  know what may come your way, you’ll never know how it can surprise you, all you have to do exercise your choice.

.. Over a Cup of Chai

They both met on the last place they had ever imagined that they would meet anyone of interest, let alone people of their wavelength. They were both averse to the app and had to be coaxed and cajoled, even to the extent of blatant threats, to sign up on it. They were two lonely souls, not because of the lack of people out there, but their inability to move ahead, trapped in their own world, trapped in their own thinking, totally socially awkward, something their friends saw, and they failed to understand, and who ended up taking matters in their own hand.

They weren’t aware of the existence of the other, let alone knowing they worked for the same company, albeit out of different offices, departments, locations, cities. It was that faithful beep on the messenger, or scan of the messenger, that actually lifted the veil of ignorance of each other’s presence, slowly helping to form a connection. They had seen each other, but up until that ping they were oblivious of each other’s presence, the only thing they had exchanged was a quick glance.

Since one was timid the other bold, it was upto to the bolder one to take the initiative, once it was learned of each other’s presence it was just a matter of time they had to meet. Unfortunately their busy schedules almost derailed their opportunities and kept them from meeting each other. When they finally got a small window of opportunity it was time for them to part. So they decided to make the most of what presented itself.

Though they met over a cup of chai they ended up having a stimulating conversation, getting a bit more than they had expected, bit more than they had bargained for. In those moment they spoke of their life, what lead them to getting on the app, their life on the app, and what they look forward to life, on and off the app. They learnt so much of each other, like peeling off the layer of an onion skin, learning something new with each layer, getting to know each other, each other’s personality, a new appreciation, a new admiration, respecting each other.

As they conversed with each other, their conversation had these little touches, private moments, personal to just the two of them. A hand on the shoulder, a brush on the back, a touch on the elbow, pushing back the errant strand of hair. Touches that were personal, touches that were intimate, more than any other form of intimacy.

They spent the rest of the day texting each other, eagerly awaiting the others response. And when it came time to part ways they walked together to the gate, letting their fingers brush each other, not really holding hands, avoiding the awkwardness of gawking eyes, but sharing a smile. So at the gate, when they said goodbyes, they hugged and one gave the other a peck on the neck, promising to have a proper date, the next time either of them were in the same city.