Ramblings of a lonely mind

Sometimes I feel like I am going loose myself, loose my mind. Fear the sadistic thoughts that run in my brain. I try to drown them but the more they claw back to the surface of my consciousness, threatening my sanity. Life seems unrelenting, with each moment like a wave constaantly washing up the shore. I fear it will consume me, eat me and spit me out. Most importantly I am afraid of what it does to me. Very often leaving me desperate and lonely and delirious. Not sure when it will end.

Confession of an irrational, lonely mind

Loneliness leads to irrationality. Being irrational leads you to do silly things. Leads you to buy things you do not need, to do things you you never thought you would do before. Leads you to craziness and boldness you never thought you were capable of.

Lonliness creates a void which you want to fill. Loneliness leads you to seek out companionship, for that human touch, even if it is a warm hug, an embrace, two human bodies in contact with each other in the most asexual way. All you need is company and a patient ear so you can pour your heart to.

Seems like irrationality and loneliness and have been a friend who have embarked with me on a journey I would have been afraid to take.

Confession of a Frustrated indian

I am trying to support Mr. Modi's decision on demonetisation, but with each passing moment I find it ever difficult to do so. The ATM lines and bank queue are long, winding, endless and frustrating. I am ready to support this act if it brings any good but I can see and feel is added stress and pressure. There's added stress and pressure on an already bent citizen.

Before you ask me, no I didn't stand in line for a Jio sim (never trusted Reliance) and never stood in line for an iPhone, in fact I don't have one. These are choices that we make. But standing in line is a compulsive cause we need money to survive, no one, not even the government, will give you a free meal.

So what have I done to deserve this... and before you cook up the analogy of a soldier, let me cut you here. For a soldier it's his profession and for me this is a necessity. My fault is to be a citizen of a country where the government decides to go after 10% of the population who have hoarded black money by screwing the remaining 90%. My own hard earned money is now regulated and I can't use for the things I need to do.

Sorry Mr. Modi I really can't support you, cause though other may sing praises and put up messages on how you've been awarded the best PM, I can only laugh at these false claims cause I am not a believer supporter or a bhakt. I do feel in way the demonetization is a foolish endeavour and planned to take maximum leverage of the upcoming state election. You have been in power for 3 years didn't you think of doing anything during that time as it was part of your poll promise.  Why the delay?

Seriously can't be spending time waiting in line for cash.

We Educated Uneducated

Two almost major fires (thankfully no casulties), numerous public service messages and lessons on the ill effect of crackers and how it adds to the pollution, both air and sound, but still  on lessons learnt and number of notices. Crackers were still lit, buildings shuddered, the air was still filled smoke and the roads and parks were strewn with garbage, smoldering papers and burnt pointed ends of sparklers. Animals shuddered while the two-legged kind went around with glee. Babies wailed from the deafening noise, patients and the elderly coughed gasping for air.

It is sad how the purpose of festival, it's meaning has been turned on its head. An even tough the paper proclaimed that the decibels this year was lesser than the last one, the fact remains that there was noise pollution and the air quality was poor.

Let's learn to celebrate festivals the way it's meant to be celebrated, whether it is Diwali, Christmas or Eid. Let the reverence of the season get lost in all the commercial show.  Though we have the right to celebrate our festivals let's not do it at the cost of someone else's well being.

And if someone were to tell you that as a child you lit crackers so why stop the present generation. Look them in the eye and say that you don't want them to make the mistake you made...

The Great Halloween Run

As I stood in the dark awaiting for the first sign of life, I could feel a slight nip in the air. Was it the weather or was it just me. Then in the distance I saw a shape take form. Slowly coming towards me, as if floating on thin air, almost levitating. The air suddenly felt chillier as if the temperature dropped, as this form approached. Slowly I could see it take form, this strange creature.  Was it of this earth or even of this world? And as it approached I turned and let out a shriek, "Water, Fast and  Up, Oranges"

Well this was the MRR Halloween Run, the one time of the year when you see runners take to the road wearing strange running gear and masks, as if they had just returned from ComicCon and yes I was volunteering.

Dressed as a runner's version of Don Jaun DeMarco (you see I'm a lover not a scarer) I found it liberating to stand on the road and serve, to make sure runners had proper hyderation. To greet my fellow running soles (and souls) and  ghouls and receive sweaty hugs and thank you and even a wonderful God Bless. It felt blessed to serve with my fellow volunteers, to cheerfully chat with one and  other and runners has they stopped by. To pose for photographs and to ensure that every runner remained hydrated as they went by, even if this meant standing in the road and blocking them.

And then at the end it was time to cheer the contest winners, the costume winners, for the group photograph, to show Sam how much we Love Love and then go about posing for the shutter bugs. This month saw a unique initiative by the Green Sole to collect old shoes for the needy. All in all it was a Sunday morning well spent amidst wonderful friends and fellow runners.

P.S.  Roop Betala for the wine... cheers buddy.

Demonitization: Scenes from a Chaos

Dear Mr. PM,

We do laud and support your fight against black money and your act of demonitizing the 500 and 1000 currency a masterstroke in the fight against terrorism. Sadly the implementation leaves a lot to be desired for. Everywhere you see its a scene of chaos and flaring tempers and weary souls. The bank official all seem very ill prepared for this movie, and it's not even their fault, they are doing the best they can given the very little time they have been given to prepare.  Every you look you see serpentine queues of anxious people. A mix of salaried employees and daily wage workers and housewives, standing there clutching their bags, money, waiting their turn to exchange, deposit or withdraw, waiting for direction, waiting for some sort of hope to end this ordeal. What you don't see in the line are industrialists, socialites, celebrities, the hoity-toity, the politicians and their cronies, the upper echelon of society. All you see are people who want to save their money. The air is tinged with panic that the money may run out and even a little whisper can set them off. Sadly instead of staying round to supervise the process, our leaders have gone incognito, giving sound bites and quotes or out on the next foreign trip. Though you may argue that this is required to root out evil of black money  and this just a phase that we need to go through, for a short while in order to be safe. Trust me buddy I agree with every word, but sadly as noble as the cause may be it has left me feeling helpless and vulnerable. Trust me people can take advantage of such situations. Even though it may be short period, this time may seem like an endless nightmare. What happens in an emergency, I am not going to rush to a government hospital cause I know they are ill-prepared or not even maintained properly.

About the currency note, what's with the pink? Well I don't have a pink kink in my think. But the money feels more like monopoly money. There's nothing that speaks of volume of the country that we are. It all seems very haphazardly put together. And the government has also included one of their schemes on the notes. And people don't give you change for 100 what chances are they'll give you change for 2000.

I really hope that things get better as the days go by and the objectives of this exercise is met. Looking forward to seeing the 500 rupee notes.

Baby ko Bass Pasand Hain

While working out at the gym the song Baby ko Bass Pasand Hain just happened to play. Hearing it made wonder what was the song all about. Was it about a girl who was musically inclined and loved the bass? Or did she sing bass and so had a special affection towards it? But then why was the male lead proclaim it and not her. Hearing a little more made me realised that this theory may not be true. This lead me to another theory. I remember there was another song where the singer kept crooning that it was all about bass... with bass being a metaphor for big bottoms. So did this mean that the girl in the song like the bottom of people? Again why was the male lead singing this? This made me realise that the term Baby could be gender neutral... in which case he liked her bass.... yikes!!!!

I say these Hindi songs are so complex... full of innuendo. Just listen and get over it... don't trouble your brains with it.