Said I Love You... But I Lied

She had said yes and with it accepted that she was ready to say I do, but still something felt strange inside. She said I love you but she knew she had lied, cause what she felt was more than love.

She couldn’t bear to be away from him. A moment apart made her feel like a lifetime, leaving her counting down the minutes till they were together. She could give anything to be wrapped up in his arms, cause there she was safe, it was her home. She wanted to spend each waking moment with him. His was the last face she wanted to see at night, the first thing to see when she woke up in the morning.

She wanted to lay down by his side, all wrapped up in his arms, making the whole world slowly fade away, nothing else mattered, cause by his side was where she wanted to be, where she was meant to be. This was all novel to her, she had never felt this way before. All she wanted was the touch of his skin against. She loved the way it felt, his skin against hers, the smell of him, his peculiar musky smell.

She didn’t want to seem clingy, desperate, but she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t help herself, she was falling deeper and deeper into the great abyss. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking of him, feeling insecure when she didn’t here from him, wondering if he felt the same way too. She just couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling when he was not with her. Though she scolded herself for overthinking, she couldn’t help but overthink every moment. 

She didn’t want to seem desperate or feel like a fool. But when she missed him she felt herself incomplete, felt an uneasy feeling within her. He had chipped away at her exterior, broken her down and melted her away, only to make her while once more. She had swore to never to let anyone rule her life, but then he was ruling her mind. She had not just given her heart to him, her life was his. She knew that he felt the same, or she hoped he felt the same. 

This certainly couldn’t be love. Love couldn’t be more beautiful and cruel at the same time. Even though she said I love you but she lied, cause this more than love she felt inside. She said I love you but was wrong, love could never be so strong.