He was a man of God, doing what God willed him to do, looking after his flock, then how could this happen to him. Hadn’t he done God’s will, then why did it happen to one of his own, his own flesh and blood. The revelation had shaken him, left him confused, left him questioning his faith. He didn’t know how to react to it. He had an inkling for quite a while but chose to believe otherwise, chose to laugh it off. By secretly he prayed, he hoped that it wouldn’t be true, just a passing phase, which would over be before you know it.
But all these things were not meant to be, and what he feared happened. When his own flesh and blood came out to his family he felt his world shatter, he felt betrayed, and reacted rather harshly to the situation, to the predicament he found himself in. What would people say, what would the church say, they sure would have a field day gossiping about him. How would he keep his flock in check when he couldn’t do that for his own family?
The next couple of days proved to be awkward for him. He had no clue how to handle the situation and so chose to avoid his son, especially when they shared the same house, lived under the same roof. So they went for days without talking to each other, without uttering a single word to each other. But how long would he go avoiding him. They would surely have to face each other, talk to each other, after all this simmering tension was bound to come to a boil, it was just a matter of time.
Should he disown him as many had done to their children who had come out to them. But he couldn’t do this, he could never bring himself to do this, he would never do this. He was a good and obedient boy, loving and caring and respectful of all, dedicated to the works of the church and it’s mission. How could he do this to him, how could this happen to such a good boy.
One of his friend, in whom he had confided about his predicament, suggested Conversion Therapy to help his son find his way back and return to being normal. But was it possible to change the nature of a person, to alter it, and change their orientation? Was it possible to ungay someone? He doubted it, as he believed that such things were unscientific and not possible. So he was back to square one.
When his son couldn’t take it any longer he decided to move out of the house. His coming out made him feel unwelcome, more importantly to the members of the church who refused to accept him, and the tension was tearing his family apart. He couldn’t see his family be torn and put through the ringer of emotions, so he decided to move out.
He was not very happy with his decision but then he really didn’t know what else to do. So he visited his mum. She sensed that something was not quite right and asked him about it. He told all that had happened, all that had transpired in the past couple of days and the conflict in his mind.
She listened to him patiently, and when he was done, she pursed her lips, which then broke into a smile. She ran her fingers through his hair as he rested his head in her lap. “He’s your son first, as you are mine,” she said, “rather than thinking about what the world would say, do what’s right for him, and at this moment he needs you, he needs his family.” She slowly continued, “What matter should be him. There’s nothing wrong with him, this isn’t his choice, where one day he wakes up and chooses to be gay. There’s nothing wrong with he chooses to love, and if he chooses to love a man there’s nothing wrong with it, nothing sinful about it, and we would need to accept it. Remember that God is love, and in love in all it’s form. Your family needs you, your son needs you, especially right now when he’s confused and vulnerable and scared, he needs his family the most, his father the most. So rather than thinking what someone would do, shunting him, making feel outcast, lonely and alone, ask yourself what would Jesus do and you’ll find your answer.”
He hugged her tightly and kissed her, said her farewell. On his way home, he closed his eyes tightly and asked himself, as his mother suggested, “What would Jesus do?” And in that silence he found the answer to his situation. When he got home he went straight to his son’s room. His wife was there helping his son to pack. Her face weighed down by the sorrow she felt in her heart. He knew she had been crying the whole night, the redness in her eye betrayed her. The room was strewn with boxes and bags of things, stripped of all the posters and pictures that had previously adorned it. His son was putting some of his books into a box.
He went up to his son, and taking him by the shoulder, hugged him tightly, and they both began to sob. “You are my son,” he said, through the tears, “and I love you the way you are, who you choose to be. I apologise for reacting badly, but I promise you that going forward, no matter how tough the road ahead maybe, you will never ever be alone, your family will be there with you, I will be there for you. And though it maybe initially difficult for us, we will always be with you, by your side, no matter what the world might say. I shall love you forever, and you shall always be my son.”
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