When you've been riding/driving for a long time, or at least as long as I have (which is not much), you tend to recognise certain breeds of creatures that prowl the roads of Mumbai. So based on encounters will try and describe these creatures to the best of my ability.
The Royals: No not the British ones, or the ones that Lorde sang about. These are the ones who drive their high-end cars and feel that they own the roads. They drive their Mercs, Beemers, Audis, Jags, and the odd Ferrari, and expect the roads to be good and they have the right of way. God forbid, you should cross their path, you bound to get the coldest stare.
Bade Carewale: These creatures drives big cars and SUVs like the Innova, Ertiga, Suma, Scorpio and their lot. They not only take up so much road, but chance you should get stuck behind one, you are bound to be there for a while, especially when they are turning.
Rule Breakers: These two and four wheelers who believe that rules were not meant for them. You find them helmetless or their helmets perched on their fuel tanks or handles (as if those need to be protected). They are prone to breaking signals, often either speeding or sneaking across it. And when there's a jam you see them on the opposite side of the road, against the traffic. One more thing, you will often find them three on a bike meant for two.
The Speedsters: These are three wheelers and two wheelers who missed their true calling. They needed to be in the F1 or MotorGP circuit. They fancy themselves as the next Schumacher or Rossi. Speed is their way of life. When you travel them God is really happy, cause they take you closer to him with all the prayers you keep saying. Ensure that you insured and you have not eaten anything, what's in will not remain in for a long time. At the same time you need to be aware of them, their sharp turns and lane cuts will surely take you by surprise and panic.
The Horny: No these are not sex addicts, they just feel that the sound of their horn is more sweeter than any sound in this world. That's why you find them constantly honking their horn. Honking gives them orgasmic pleasure that nothing in this world can give them. They honk for no apparent reason, often causing the poor unsuspecting riders to have a total nervous breakdown and just give them way.
The Balancer: These are mostly two wheelers. You normally see them with more than just two people and that poor vehicles of theirs. Sometimes even balancing a whole family on it, which humanely is impossible and dangerous, but hey they still do that. You can actually feel the pain of the poor vehicles that bears the brunt of their weight.
The Pathfinders: No these are not explorers, but riders who's somehow find a way even in the dense traffic. They constantly weave in and out trying to find space for themselves; a little space is all they need. They are like the camel, you give them an inch, they'll take a yard. They even use the pavements to make their way.
The Latecomers: These are perpetually in a hurry, always speeding, always honking, always glaring. They expect the way to be clear but will never think of leaving for their destination on time or even early.
The Directionless: These creatures totally lack a sense of direction. Either they give the wrong directions or don't give directions at all and expect you to telepathically understand which direction they are going to take.
Lady Drivers: These fair creatures look beautiful behind the wheel, but then you've got to be aware about their driving skills. They have concentration on other things than the roads and lack proper sense of judgement. If you ever happen to be behind give her space. But hey know some really good lady drivers.
The Monsters: These are the Garbage trucks, the BEST bus drivers, the private buses, the trucks and the State Transport buses. These strike fear in the heart of even the best of drivers. Constantly speeding, rash driver. If you ever cross their path, just get out of the way.
The Nervous Drivers: These are the novice first time riders, or riders like me, who perpetually nervous. They lack confidence and are scared of everything on the road. They are easily distracted and the slightest honk can scare them to death. Be careful around them cause they themselves need to be careful.
So there you have it, my guide to the creatures you find on the roads. Not truly exhaustive, you can always add on it cause a new breed is discovered every second. So if you know some just add to this guid.
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