“You toh don’t care about us! You have no value for the sacrifice your father and I had to make so that you could have this life! You don’t value us at all and what we have to say!”
Sounds familiar? May be very Hindi filmy but at some point of time we have heard it or some variations of it. How many eye rolls we may have given? How many times we may have fallen for this, hook line and sinker? A line we all can associate with.
It’s not that we don’t value or respect you. Trust me it is far from it. We really love and do care for you and value what you have done for us. We are no way ungrateful or heartless or selfish people you may take us to be in that moment. There are things we need to do for ourselves rather than doing it because you want us to.
Love happens and it doesn’t see gender and religion and background and religion and caste and social status. When we fall in love we don’t see these things. Who we choose to love is totally our prerogative, which may or my not have your approval and may not meet society’s norms and may be looked upon with disdain. But we just love who we love. I know love can be blind, blinding us from seeing things, and we know you have our best in mind, but somehow we have to learn about it on our own. We look towards you for guidance. Very often we let love lead the way.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people, who need to live with each other for the rest of our lives or till death do us a path or we do that ourselves. It is not something to be done because someone wants you to. Marriage will happen when it has to happen and if we want it to happen. It needs to be between two people who choose to be with each other and not because their parents choose for them to be together. Marriage needs to be between people who are ready for it and with a person we choose to spend our lives with and not. A compromise to fulfil some wish. After all it is our future and our lives that are on the line here.
But at the same time we need to remember that no matter the best of intentions there may be a time when things may just not work out. So instead of whipping a dead horse, we need to take things off the ventilator that forces it to breathe and move on. So please don’t make it seem like a mortal sin if things don’t work out. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. People are going to talk cause they have no better things to do and their tongues are loose, at the end of the day it’s your child’s happiness that should matter.
Children are God’s gift that’s something we too agree on. But to bring a child into this world and not give it the life it deserves is a big injustice towards them. We need to be ready for children. We know our biological clock is ticking but we can’t have children cause you want to see your grandchildren before you close your eyes. We need to have children when we are ready to. Remember there are children in this world who are looking for family, and if we can’t have one then we can always give them a home and a family.
We choose the career and path we want to tread on. It may not be the one you envisioned for us but it is what we chose to follow and that we are passionate about. We look to you for mentoring and guidance but do respect our decision. We may burn our fingers but It is our lesson to learn. It may take time and till then we may not want to settle down in martial bliss, be the support we need paying no heed to what the neighbouring aunties or your relatives have to say.
No matter what we say or do and how you understand us, know that we mean no disrespect or we don’t care about you. Trust is that we love you and care for what you have to. We value what you have to say. But please don’t keep emotionally trying to corner us to get your way. Remember in the end it is the life we chose to live. So please respect our decisions too and choices.
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